Hard to think of you as my Ex

[Perfect Life]

It's day 10 of our break up. I still cant believe it. I tell myself that you have to realize how wrong this is and that you will tell me how wrong you were. The second I try to talk myself out of that, I'm convincing myself again that you will come back. I think the shock has not worn off yet. Today I am forcing myself to come to terms with our end. Unwillingly, I am saying that I have to let you go. If I keep holding on to the possibility I am only doing myself some serious damage. Although I would never have imagined my life without you, and the thought of us ever belonging to anyone else is devastating, I have to let go. I hate this decision. And against all my will, I will now call you my Ex Boyfriend.

[ChiBrunette]

And in twenty days you'll shout ex boyfriend, in thirty days you'll be smiling again, forty days you'll be laughing, fifty days you'll be stronger, and within 60 days, you'll be on your way to a new you. Hang in there, it really does get better! (:

[Perfect Life]

I have received a ton of support here. I know it's all up to me and I have to WANT to move forward. I can honestly say that today is a much better day. I have given in and realized that you cant force love. I know it might be temporary and some days will be easier than the next. But today, I was motivated to get off my a**, let go of the 'poor me' feeling and start working towards a single me. Who knows how I will feel tomorrow, but today, I'm feeling progress. Coming to terms with an unexplainable end is part of my healing. The shock of it all is something I hope to leave in my recent past. It's been 12 days and although my heart will hurt from time to time, and I will still post when I need to, I will move at a pace that is right for me. I'm in a good mood today, and I want to enjoy it as much as I can

[Baudilaire]

I hope that the good mood lasts you for the rest of the day and tomorrow and so on. I remember getting those days and how elated I felt that I was over it all and then the next day would come and I would break again.

It's a process but it's great to experience those days. You just have to try and remain that way and keep it up.

[Perfect Life]

I hope the good days outweigh the bad. I am set on moving on by any means necessary. It feels good to take control of my emotions and keep it together for more than just a few hours. No tears today. I have to have harsh conversations with myself to make that happen but I am worth it.

[sky09]

Yeah, the labels that we place on people that played a huge part of our lives... Same here, I only reference her as an "Ex" online. I can't seem to make that sound come out of my mouth yet.

[Perfect Life]

ikwym. It's a hard thing to realize. I know one day i'll have to use it comfortably, but for now it's still too hard. It shouldn't have ended. We were the couple everyone else wanted to be. Distance took it's toll and he eventually started to doubt all his decisions. I will never understand how/ why he gave up. I believe in love and I saw it in us. Everyone did.

A little of improvement a day is enough for me. My focus is my own emotional repair, not finding love again. What is meant to be will be.

[Perfect Life]

Just had a crying spell. Just the dumbest things can trigger it. I imagined his fingers. Yes, his fingers. They're not super amazing but I know I'll never see them again. I also miss his lips. I used to caress his mustache and go along his lips with my fingertips when we were laying in bed talking. So many little things that bring me sadness. Today I received a box of things I left at his house in the mail. I was okay until my daughter asked me why he sent all that stuff. Some clothes, perfumes, etc. She said are you guys going to break up. And I just said idk. I don't want to tell them yet, due to court reasons. But she sees me crying. As much as I force myself not to cry in front of them, they hear my voice crack or a tear come out and they notice the weight loss. My daughter sent him a message today and said that she thinks I'm sick and she's worried. Today I had a long talk to her and I told her that I will explain it all to her later, but for now, I need her to know that I am okay, and soon, I will be much better.

[mhowe]

You need to tell your kids not to contact him. Her message is going to come accross as manipulation. And he doesn't know you haven't told them.

[Perfect Life]

He knows. I told him I wouldn't tell them until all the court stuff was done.