Am I just wasting my time?

[ChenilleB]

I recently got out of a really bad relationship about 2 months ago we were together for a year and a half. I have been dating haven't really gained much interest into anyone until now I started to hang out with a guy that I started to like. He's attractive and I enjoy his company. He's gives me a lot of attention when were around each other but besides that we barely text or speak on the phone at all. I'm not sure if he's even interested because of that. We took a lot of pictures one we were hanging out (the look like pics a couple would take), I posted them on my instagram but he didn't. We haven't even on a date. It's still really early on so I don't know if I should just cut him or wait and see? What do you guys think?

[FlashEng1]

I recently got out of a really bad relationship about 2 months ago we were together for a year and a half. I have been dating haven't really gained much interest into anyone until now I started to hang out with a guy that I started to like. He's attractive and I enjoy his company. He's gives me a lot of attention when were around each other but besides that we barely text or speak on the phone at all. I'm not sure if he's even interested because of that. We took a lot of pictures one we were hanging out (the look like pics a couple would take), I posted them on my instagram but he didn't. We haven't even on a date. It's still really early on so I don't know if I should just cut him or wait and see? What do you guys think?

 

I believe your qualifications of what makes a relationship or date, are a bit misguided.

 

"Hang out" -- You guys are hanging out right now? Or Dating? Either way: You're starting to. Slow down with mutual expectations ("I wrote 'In a Relationship' on Facebook, why didn't you?" -- "I changed my status on XX dating site, why haven't you?!" -- "I posted pictures of us on instagram, why haven't you?" You're definitely wasting your time and hurting your own heart by having these types of expectations, not because they're wrong or anything, BUT because you guys haven't even established the relationship yet. You're confused right now, because rather than simply texting him (right now!) and telling him (lightly) how you feel about him, you'd rather stand back and think that because you're doing X, he should be as well.. It's not always like that.. Talk to your new interest and establish a relationship. Just as HE isn't texting YOU outside of being around another, reciprocity has it's value: Neither are you texting him.

[ChenilleB]

Thats a really good response. You made me see things differently. I got to stop with these expectations. Thanks so much

[SoulTaker]

I recently got out of a really bad relationship about 2 months ago we were together for a year and a half. I have been dating haven't really gained much interest into anyone until now I started to hang out with a guy that I started to like. He's attractive and I enjoy his company. He's gives me a lot of attention when were around each other but besides that we barely text or speak on the phone at all. I'm not sure if he's even interested because of that. We took a lot of pictures one we were hanging out (the look like pics a couple would take), I posted them on my instagram but he didn't. We haven't even on a date. It's still really early on so I don't know if I should just cut him or wait and see? What do you guys think?

 

More info is needed. How did the two of you meet (who made first contact)? What is your mindset? After getting out of a bad relationship, are you now in dating mode, or just casual (if you meet someone, fine: if you don't meet someone, fine again)?

[SooSad33]

"I recently got out of a really bad relationship about 2 months ago we were together for a year and a half. I have been dating haven't really gained much interest into anyone until now "

- You were in a LTR. I suggest you take some decent down-time to work on accepting & healing from your recent break up.

There's no need to rush into anything again so soon.

It's best to work on YOU, your emotions & taking a good break away from the opposite sex until you can feel more yourself again. Comfortable & happy.

 

That can take a few months but it's healthy thing to do...

[catfeeder]

"I recently got out of a really bad relationship about 2 months ago we were together for a year and a half. I have been dating haven't really gained much interest into anyone until now "

- You were in a LTR. I suggest you take some decent down-time to work on accepting & healing from your recent break up.

There's no need to rush into anything again so soon.

It's best to work on YOU, your emotions & taking a good break away from the opposite sex until you can feel more yourself again. Comfortable & happy.

 

That can take a few months but it's healthy thing to do...

 

I agree with this. You haven't been out of your relationship long enough to lose 'relationship mode,' and you're carrying that into your dealings with new guy. That will shut him down or at very least keep you unhappy.

 

I'd pull back from new guy and let him do the heavy lifting if he's into you. If not, you're preserving the possibility of catching up with him in the future after you're healed, whole and into a nice, healthy single mode.

 

Head high.