Finchabald Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 a few months ago a girl my age who lives in utah USA contacted me through msn messenger because she saw my profile and thought we would get along well. we spoke for a while and got to know each other and then after a month she said that she loved me. i didn't know what to do and stopped talking to her but recently contacted her again because ive been very lonely. she says she wants to come to england and see me but i dont know what to think. can you really love someone you've never met? any idea what i could do? i do like her but im unsure. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 i'd be a little creeped out. but..how old are you guys? you talked to her a lot? just on the computer or the phone too? seen pictures of eachother? do you know a lot about eachother? Link to comment
ticklebug Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 can you really love someone you've never met no. love isn't words on a computer screen or voices on the phone. Love happens on a much deeper level than that and requires the physicality. Now she CAN "love" your sense of humor, or your charm, or you way of putting things...you may share like views which makes you attractive to her...but that isn't LOVE...that is a deep appreciation for who you are. She has no idea about you as a person... I suggest you tell her to find someone in Utah...that you enjoy her friendship but that is it. The whole idea of loving someone who is "accross the pond" presents a multitude of obsticles even if it is a TRUE love...muchless some cyber fantasy. Link to comment
shuntaro603 Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 u two don't know each other that too well, u have only been talking online. i don't think it's love, maybe she is being too emotional. she likes u, that is true, but love, it's too soon to say. Link to comment
Finchabald Posted December 31, 2004 Author Share Posted December 31, 2004 i hav talked to her alot. ive seen tonnes of photos of her. we're both 15. i believe that she is who she claims to be. ive only spoken on computer unfortunately coz i dnt hav a phone. we do know alot about each other. Link to comment
ticklebug Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 and how exactly is a 15 year old going to go all the way to the UK to visit? Let's be realistic here...you think your mom would buy you a ticket and get you a passport to go meet some person from a computer chat? And that doesn't even get into hotel, transporation, meals...etc... she needs to grow up... Link to comment
Finchabald Posted December 31, 2004 Author Share Posted December 31, 2004 on a family holiday. she said we could arrange to meet up somewhere one day whilst she was there. Link to comment
SkyFire Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 a few months ago a girl my age who lives in utah USA contacted me through msn messenger because she saw my profile and thought we would get along well. we spoke for a while and got to know each other and then after a month she said that she loved me. i didn't know what to do and stopped talking to her but recently contacted her again because ive been very lonely. she says she wants to come to england and see me but i dont know what to think. can you really love someone you've never met? any idea what i could do? i do like her but im unsure. This bothers me. Dude.. come on. Do yourself a favor and start meeting REAL girls. Trust me, it pays off alot more 8) Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 are you all against him meeting a girl onnline or just meeting a girl half way around the world who seems a bit out there? i tend to go w/ the second group. one of my female friends met her bf onnline and they have been dating for a few years now. Link to comment
violetsky Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 I have to agree with hockeyboy...I know several people who have met online and have been pretty happy. What's the difference between meeting online then meeting in person and meeting in a club, then starting to date? Seems to me you talk and "get to know" someone more online before you actually meet and date than you do yelling at each other over the music in a club. And my friends who have met their loves online are pretty "real"...I've known some of them most of my life. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 i dont see anything wrong with it at all. sometimes it carries a bad stigma with people though. of course you have a real chance of meeting a real creep onnline...but lets face it, you can meet those people anywhere!! Link to comment
ShySoul Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 The problem here isn't that you've never meet, its that you are so young. It is possibly to form an intense connection and respect with someone who've never meet and be a step away from being in love. The meeting is just the final piece of the puzzle to make sure both sides have been completely honest with each other and that the bond does in fact exisit. But at 15, you don't have a full understanding of what love is. Almost all relationships at that age aren't serious, even when the couple see each other everyday. Between the age and not seeing each, this is clearly not love. Its an attraction and infatuation. Link to comment
ksk0_0 Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 I haven't read the other replies, but I'm sure they were helpful. So my advice to you is; Your both 15, get along well so far but meeting this early? I don't think that's a good idea, she lives in US and your in England - It's not like one of your/her parents are going to pull up a plane ticket and give them to you/her. I think you two would be better off chatting online, and instead of trying to PERSONALLY meet each other - the two of you should just get webcams and webcam online. Just until you two are old enough, because your still under parental supervision, not 18 yet. Link to comment
DropToZero Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Like pretty much everyone here is saying...you can't be in 'love' with someone who you've never met.....there's no way.... especially since you've only been talking to her for a few months or so. Ill be honest, I have an internet friend, a girl that lives only a few states over from me. Her and I have been talking for about 3 years...maybe more...but there was about a 4 month period when we stopped for a while because of being busy. But anyways....I know I'm not in love with her, and never would be, she's just a great friend, I care for her tho. I sometimes wish she lived near me b/c I think her and I would be like the greatest friends in person b/c I don't have any really close girl friends. Elaborating on your 'few months' of talking....This girl and I would talk from 11 pm to 3 am in the morning...and this was almost every day sometimes when we first met. We can still talk that long, but we're both in college, so it gets harder now. Get this tho, we have NEVER met, never seen one another, but have talked on the phone a few times. We will one day meet each other, but it can wait....We trust one another enough to..its just a bigger step. I dont know why I told this whole story...maybe it was b/c YOU want to go accross the world instead of a few states.....think about it.... Link to comment
OceanEyes Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 There's nothing wrong with people meeting online, but it can create unrealistic expectations if both people live in different countries. Another thing to take into consideration is the fact that you're simply lonely Finch. Don't reciprocate or encourage someone who says they love you just because you're lonely. You obviously don't love her back, so just be honest. Besides, how would you ever be with a girl who lives in the U.S. and is 15? Sure, you might see her once while she's on vacation, but what happens after that? Are you both going to wait for several years before you can actually afford to be together? What about school/ work/ family? This won't work. Link to comment
Finchabald Posted January 2, 2005 Author Share Posted January 2, 2005 yes i am lonely. but that doesn't meen that a girl that i met online couldn't b the one who changes that. it is phesable that after the one time we see each other we may wnt to see each other again so we will w8 bcoz we will hav to. what about school? Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 I don't think there's anything wrong with having this girl as a friend and looking forward to meeting one day. Whether or not is actually happens is questionable, because the odds seem to be against it. But if this is a source of amusement/fun/excitment for you, then let it be. You are probably both a little lonely, there's nothing wrong with being friends. I think what's most important is that you don't ever get hurt in the situation. If possible, try to guard yourself from becoming too involved. Sometimes things like these can turn into "addictions" (i.e. letting the friendship with her be your only source of happiness). But you seem to have it under control, you can always back off like you did before if it becomes too intense. As far her saying she "loves" you, I think love is a subjective concept and maybe she does feel that way in her mind. Who knows. Though, if I were in the situation, it would take a lot more than the kind of contact you had for me to "love" someone, but that's just me. Whatever happens, just look out for yourself and try not to put yourself in a predicament with her where you'll get disappointed or hurt, BellaDonna Link to comment
SkyFire Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 yes i am lonely. but that doesn't meen that a girl that i met online couldn't b the one who changes that. it is phesable that after the one time we see each other we may wnt to see each other again so we will w8 bcoz we will hav to. what about school? She cant change it. You can. Now go change it. Link to comment
Finchabald Posted January 4, 2005 Author Share Posted January 4, 2005 to skyfire. i think that i hav already explained my predicament of finding someone who wants to get close so no i can cahnge it. why cant she change it? Link to comment
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