Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I started in the break up forum 2 years ago, spent a short time in the getting back together forum and thought it might be time to move in here.


Brief story was with a girl for 7 years, we were in love and like no couple I have been in, met or known then, nor since. About 6 month before it ended we were talking about marriage, but a lot of other pressures were being put on me too, about income mostly. I tied to sort the later out, leaving the proposing to after.... i didn't get the chance. She had hidden from me in the last 3 months of us that she was delibrately trying to get used to being single, so she could leave me. Why? No idea. First I knew, "It was over, bye."


Someone else, could be. Something I did, could be. Something she did, could be. I just dont know. Never found out. Blamed myself for them all, and anything else I could think of anyway.


I've been waiting and walking the fine line of on and off no contact, occasional messages and even on occasion quiet drinks with her. It goes up, down, forward back, but not back together. For each lift I get dropped back down with a bump.


Last time we met a few times and got kinda close, but she backed out suddenly again at dinner one night. She still loves me. I can tell, I can see it and feel it. Something says to her that we can't be together, so she is trying to get over me. I haven't really given her the chance I suppose. I feel I ahve to stop her, before she succeeds, find out what it is and null / void it.


Anyway... I'm here because, of recent certain problems have to take precedence. Mainly my life is in tatters and it has hit home all too hard at xmas/new year, that I dont really have a life anymore.


I need to somehow put this to rest in my head and heart and set them focused on fixing my life again. It doesn't stop the stuck record in my head everynight I try and get to sleep though. Thinking about her, till I fall asleep, wondering.


I have no close friends. Nobody to go out of the house with. I take oppurtunities when I get them, but, over xmas I have come to the conclusion that without anyone to get out of the house with, to meet more people and expand my life, I won't get out at all.


All I have to look forward to at the moment are two plans I have. 1. Get a driving license, 30 is a bit late, but hey. 2. Join conservation volunteers as soon as the weather improves........... possibly get a job sometime in the new year if I get the results I wanted from uni, which ended this November.


I'll be home alone new years eve again, 2'nd year in a row. Last year I had friends but they were working, this year I have 1 friend (of 13 years), but he's just not the sort of friend I can impose on, he'll be busy with his new wife to be.


I suppose there aren't any easy, or medium solutions, just hard ones.


Thanks for listening.

Link to comment

I don't know if you want advice or not so here is some any way!

You don't jave to have some one to go out of the house with!!!

Go to a party you hear about, or go to a movie or even eat out by yourself.. you may be surprised but you meet alot of intresting and good people when your alone! And when you get out of the house you could find someone you connect better with than the girl you were seeing!

And yes give her time she might relize she needs you, or she may move on... and so should you! After giving your friend some time with his so to be wife go out for a boys night.. and find someone.. or alot of people..

but try to go out by yourself... it works with meeting people! And it gives a since of accomplishment... so happy new year!!!

Link to comment

Dear Lonely......


Been there done that. The best thing you can do is stay busy. Join the gym, journal your feelings, see a counselor. I just started those things earlier this year and it' made a difference. You deserve so much better than the girl!!! Try going to church. after I started praying on a regular basis I felt. I'm not a religious fanatic by no means but The Man Upstairs can help. The say that God never gives someone more than they can handle. This happened for a reason and someday you'll know why. Maybe she's waiting right around the corner. Continue to read on here also. This wedsite has helped me out soooo much!!! [-o

Link to comment



There are a lot of things to do. U can make fun out of the misery u have.

U can laff that off with a group of good humuor people.


U can go and do volunteer work. Dig out old things and donate for the tsunamis.


U can pray for people. U can help people here too.


My, my list is long.. hehe


Thats all. U are here for a reason. Why not help out?


The only way to deal with loneliness, is to feel that people need u, and be the centre of them.


May goodness be spread from thee

Link to comment
About 6 month before it ended we were talking about marriage, but a lot of other pressures were being put on me too, about income mostly. I tied to sort the later out, leaving the proposing to after.... i didn't get the chance.


If you feel she loves you still then you can probably put about 97% certainty in the reason she broke up with you is because she gave up hope on ever getting a ring from you...(poop or get off the pot so to speak) there is only so much talking you can do before it feels futile...


It's a lot like couples who what to have kids one day...but want to wait until they can "afford" it...nevermind if both have the urge to be parents...there is no set $$ amount that states "okay, you are fiscally set to give birth"...so it's just based on assumption...and woe is the couple who assumes too high...they end up childless...


she probably wanted you to love her more than she wanted you to support her financially...


the polans you hve made to help yourself heal are good ones...just get yourself occupied...NYE is only as big of a deal as you make it...otherwise, it's just another night...

Link to comment

Thanks guys.


It just gets difficult sometimes. Rebuilding your life when you still sad about not having one, is not easy.


I left a one word message on the exes phone on NYE. I just said, goodbye. I have been meaning to delete her number from my phone, just incase I do phone her while drunk somenight. I know for sure though as soon as I do that, there will be some sort of emergency in my life and she will be the only one left to phone. Like breaking down in a blizzard somewhere, on my motorbike and no-one else will answer. My rule is not to play with fate, and dont give it oppurtunity... although keeping her number leaves fate able to get me drunk and emotional and phone her, make things even worse.


I need to fix my life and forget about her.


Ive been spending the rest of the time this feative period downloading movies and watching them. illegal, but, well, i dont really care, gives me things to do, to keep things out of my mind.


Thanks for listening

Link to comment

hey i am irish too and i just wanted to wish you good luck!!


I broke up with my long term boyfriend (my choice) about 3 months ago and i met someone else that i connected very intensely with within a few days. Unfortunately that didn't work out, he had to move back to the UK. So now i am trying to adjust to my single life and will admit i am finding it difficult too. My friends are all either living with their boyfriends or soon to be living with them.I feel like the odd one out and sat in for most of the xmas waiting on my friends to make some time to see me.


i know its very hard at the moment but i am sure things will get better for both of us!! i also leave my mobile phone at home when i am out drinking!!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...