Saw the ex today....

[panchala23]

So for those who have been followin along, I met up with my ex today, we ran errands and stuff before she leaves tomorrow for Cali for the next three months. I think i exuded a lot of confidence and showed that I was doing pretty well. I had fun, and I think she did too, a lot of laughing and stuff. I talked to her family for a while too, adn that was fun as well with a lot of laughing. It was awkward saying bye to her, and I just did a quick hug and said have fun. I think there was more she wanted to say, but I just smiled at her and left. Now that I am home, I checked her away message and she quoted a friend saying "We girls are selective about our shoes and our men." What does that mean? I am guessing that she is talking about me, and it really hurt me. As much as I really feel good about myself and feeel like I am in control, when I read that it just made me feel terribly sad. I am not sure if that is about me (although it prob is) and I am not even sure if it means what I am thinking it means, which is that I have been selected out or something. Am I making a bigger deal out of this than it should be? She was very amiable towards me all day and I thought we were having a good time.

[ticklebug]

We girls are selective about our shoes and our men

 

that, I believe, is a quote from a movie, but I can't think of which one...

 

it's a general away message, it has nothing to do with you...

[panchala23]

haha you really think that is has nothing to do with me? She posted that after seeing me, and she quoted her best friend saying it. Maybe it has nothing to do with me I dont know, but it bugs me how the people you love the most in your life are the ones that can hurt you so easily.

[ticklebug]

OHHHHHHHHHHHH now I remember where I've heard it

 

sex in the city

 

so it wasn't her friend, per se...and so what if maybe her friend and she had a conversation and an episode of sex and the city came up....maybe it was about a pair of shoes she saw while you were out runing errands...

 

bottom line, you are being too sensitive, and only hurting yourself.

[Mun]

Sounds to me like she might also be selective about who she spends her last days in the city with...and she spent today with you. What's so bad about that?

 

I think that ( being selective) is a good thing.

[panchala23]

Hahah thanks muneca. I am not sure what she meant, but I dont really care anymore. I read a letter I found from the first time we broke up, and she said a lot of things in there that were terrible and hurtful. Of course, I found it later she just said them to make it all easier.....but it reallly gets ya thinking why someone would do that to somebody they "love". I dont know where I am in her heart honestly because I cant believe what she said, and frankly I cant even really believe what I say. That is part of the breakup I think, feelings become polarized. Time will tell I suppose. I know I am a special guy though, and at least on some level she will regret this. I don't wish her to be unhappy, dont get me wrong, but I think she is giving up something pretty special.

[panchala23]

Ok guys these words are haunting me now. I just keep thinkin about that away message. I don't understand how I can fall from her love so quickly. I think it is hindering my progress really because it just makes no sense to me. How can she say after five years that she wasn't being selective about me? Or that I have been selected out? I thought we were having a pretty good time, but maybe that whole time she was thinking how was I ever with him. Earlier in the day she mentioned something like this while we were eating. She said something like, "it used to be the case that whenver a guy liked me I was like woohoo. But now its different." Something to that extent. I am really confused.

[ticklebug]

I don't understand how I can fall from her love so quickly

 

 

maybe because you are too sensative and over react to things that you shouldn't...like away messages perhaps?

 

and after a while it just got to be a huge burden to her to have to reassure you all the time....

[panchala23]

I admit that I am being very sensitive here, but that is not how I usually am. After we broke up this whole thing has thrown me into some sort of weird funk. I haven't been sensitive around her, but I definitely have pushed her away with all the we belong together stuff, but I quit doing that two weeks ago.