I think I startled her, how and when to ask a girl out.

[Too Shy Guy]

So here's my situation: I'll start at the beginning.

 

I started going out with this girl 5 years ago. Classic Junior High/ High School relationship, you know, becoming gf/bf before really dating. She is a year younger than I am. After high school ended we decided to go our separate ways because of me having to go 400 miles to go to the university. We believed there was the possibility of getting back together after she graduated but agreed we could see other people.

 

So I started school in the fall and ended up working at a retail store to help support myself. At this store I met a girl, I'll refer to her as (girl 1) to keep this straight, after about a couple of months working side by side I realised I really liked her and I believe she liked me too, there was a lot of flirting/smiling/body language going on. I got up the courage to ask her out which was incredibly hard for me, having never really done it before and being intensely shy, voted most shy guy in my graduating class. But I knew I asked her at the worst time and way possible. I was about to go home after my shift and she left for her final break at the same time, I just asked her if she wanted to go to lunch (insert day).

 

I could tell I startled her, she went from being her usual chipper self to very nervous and gave the usual heart-breaking I'm busy on (insert day). Being as that we were becoming friends I decided to quickly end the conversation, so I quickly just told her that I'll see at work tomorrow and even I after I asked her our nothing in our relationship changed.

 

Fast-Forward to the beginning of this summer, my ex graduated from high school and moved down here to begin college. We decided to start up the relationship again, which obviously(girl 1) found out about. No biggie there, I thought me and my ex would be together longer than we actually were. It lasted about 2 more months but we split because we tragically grew apart, we just didn't get along anymore and had no more common interests.

 

Fast-Forward to 2 months ago I start flirting with (girl 1) again, keep in mind I never stopped liking her. And she is more receptive than I can remember her being, sending the same kind of signals to me and she also begun initializing the flirts. But I've also noticed that she does the same things with me that she does to another guy. I've learned from her friends that she has never had a boyfriend, not a bad thing mind you.

But, take it to yesterday, I go on break with her and the rest of my department from the store. One of our workers ask me at break how my girlfriend is doing.

 

Taking as no one knew, I said "I'm single now, have been for a few months" and (girl 1) gives me this (eyebrows up) look. Would it scare her off if I was to ask her out again? It's been over a year so I don't think it would. I can tell she is the playful, friendly type which is one of the main reasons why I like her so much, but could the flirting I'm receiving back from her just her natural playfulness. Anyways I'll leave it at that. I know I have overanalyzed this whole situation but it's really all I can think about, I feel like I'm going to explode (insert dramatic music).

 

Thanks much

 

The Shy One

[Mentor]

It sounds to me like you have done everything right. The first time you asked girl1 out, you kept it really casual, and when she turned you down it was no big deal for either of you.

 

I would go ahead and ask her again, but again keep it casual. Things can change a lot in a year. Maybe she was interested in someone else at the time, maybe she really was busy, maybe hearing about your ex sparked an interest, and maybe she really isn't into you....

 

Good luck!

[Kaia]

I agree with Mentor.

Just keep it casual and don't worry too much. Good luck!

[lkbillings]

Agreed. If you're really nervous, suggest some come along on a "group" event or invite her to a party. Another idea is to suggest doing something non-datish. You could say, for example, "I'm need to get a shirt for this event coming up, would you help me pick one out?"

 

Good luck!