Oral sex beginner

[shygirl23]

I gave my boyfriend oral sex for the first time a couple of nights ago. I finally decided that I was ready to do that and for me, this is a huge deal. Just taking that step and actually being ready to do it took a long time. Since it was my first time, I didn't expect to be very good at it, but I'd like some tips so I can be better next time.

 

I asked my boyfriend to wear a condom, and he did. He didn't push me to, he let me decide to and he has even offered to return the favor. Anyway, I guess I should have asked this before I gave him oral, but what are the risks of oral? What diseases can you get from it? I've heard so many different things, I wanted to ask again just to make sure I have everything right.

 

Anyway, it was harder than I expected it to be. Of course, we were in a car--not exactly the best place. I pulled his clothes off and kissed him all down his body, and down his penis, then I put my mouth over the head moved as far up as I could go. Then I'd slide it back down. I used my tongue a little, but that didn't get much of a reaction, so I didn't do that as much. I couldn't go very far without gagging myself, and I have a problem with my jaw (sort of like TMJ) and I couldn't open my mouth all the way. I used my hands at the base (I learned that from this site). After a few minutes he asked me to go harder, but I couldn't go any harder with my mouth, so I finished with my hands.

 

He finally climaxed and then leaned over and lay on me for a while.

 

I was afraid that he was disappointed because I don't think I did a very good job. I really tried not too, but I scraped him with my teeth a couple of times. Not hard or anything, but it still probably didn't feel that great.

 

Is there anything that I can do to make it better? Besides taking off the condom, because I'm not ready for that yet.

 

I asked him later if I did okay, and he said that he wasn't complaining. Still though, I know that it wasn't as good as it could have been, not by long shot, and I really want to do a better job next time.

[confuzedboy89]

you could ask him what feels goood to him or have him guide you while your doing it

[Meow18]

It was your first time! Give yourself a chance. No one is really an expert at anything the first time. The more you do it, the more you will realize what he likes and you will think up new things to try.

 

Your boyfriend seems like a really nice guy who cares about your feelings and you. Guys usually don't complain about girls giving them oral, especially if you get him to cum. Don't worry about it. He's not complaining, so why worry about it?

[Phil]

It was your first time! Give yourself a chance. No one is really an expert at anything the first time. The more you do it, the more you will realize what he likes and you will think up new things to try.

 

Your boyfriend seems like a really nice guy who cares about your feelings and you. Guys usually don't complain about girls giving them oral, especially if you get him to cum. Don't worry about it. He's not complaining, so why worry about it?

 

Exactly! especially demonstrated here

"I asked my boyfriend to wear a condom, and he did. He didn't push me to, he let me decide to and he has even offered to return the favor."

 

I'm guessing he hasn't ever pushed you into doing anything you didn't want to do.. which i respect a lot.

 

as for how you did, no "normal" guy will ever complain about you doing a bad job. You tried, it was your first time. and i bet he wasn't expecting you to do it yet.

 

you say you scraped him with your teeth a couple times, but since he was wearing a condom it probably didn't hurt him at all. if you ever do oral without a condom try not to do that as it probably hurts a lot lol.

 

you asked about what diseases you can get, heres someone with a similar question..

goaskalice.columbia.edu/0336.html

 

as long as both of you are STD free and are loyal to one another (hes only guy for you, your the only girl for him) then its pretty safe.

[uongy]

i totally agree with maggie.indeed,you will get better as you do it more.and i bet ur man will not complain about that.

 

ask him how he felt.and make sure he is honest.that way,you can get better at it.at the end of the day,its him that you are pleasing and he has his own needs and wants.

 

just chill.i mean if your man has been smiling all day you know you were damn good!!lol.

 

hope that helps!

[amanda22]

i heard someone say that its like pizza. good pizza is great but even bad pizza is still pretty great. take it easy on yourself, i agree with everyone else.

[emma34]

i think they are right.. just take it easy, it'll come naturally eventually. it is important he tells you what he likes, or at least gives you some sort of reaction so it feels like your not doing it for nothing. tongue = important (wetness).. if your mouth starts to hurt, take breaks. use your hands for awhile, then go back to it...it should be fun (well it SHOULD be), just take it easy.

[Meow18]

Just to add.. if he wasn't enjoying it and you weren't making him feel good, then he wouldn't have cummed. But yeah, just give yourself a chance to get comfortable with it all.

 

I was like you at first. I wasn't sure if I was doing that great. However, now I feel like I know exactly what he likes and I feel like an expert.

[shygirl23]

I'm not too worried about it. I realize that it was my first time and that I wouldn't be perfect. I'd just like some tips on how to improve. I often ask him what he wants me to do, but he never seems to want to tell me. He's mentioned before that it makes him feel like he's ordering me around. Plus, I think it kind of kills the mood for him when I ask a lot of questions while we're in the middle of something like that. Sometimes he'll give me short, one-word commands, but that's only when he gets closer to orgasm. I want to make it better for him, I just don't really know what to do.

 

I guess I just need tips and techniques.

 

Thanks for the self-esteem boost, everyone. I feel a lot better about being an ameteur now.

[asdf]

worship his penis like a god. grip close to the base with one hand, stare at it and lick your lips. that'll get him halfway there.

[shygirl23]

Okay, thanks. I was thinking that it might help to go slower and work in a little teasing (he usually likes that a lot). We didn't have much time to do anything like that before.

 

I know that every guy's preferences are going to be different, but do guys like it when you use your tongue? That's not really something that I'd want to ask him unless we were actually doing something and then he doesn't seem to want to answer a lot of questions (ha ha). Is it okay to use my hands every now and then?

 

What about the problem of accomodating him? I had a really hard time actually fitting him into my mouth, and then I could only go so far--forget trying to do anything deep-throating. Is there anything I can do to help that problem? What about gagging (not that it's much of a problem since I can only go a couple of inches)? Deep breathing?

[shygirl23]

We tried it again last night. It was much easier this time, probably because we were on a bed and not cramped in a car. Plus, he was lying on his back (instead of sitting), for some reason that made it easier too. Since I could bend over more I could get my mouth a little farther. A little extra saliva helps too.

 

He was a little disappointed when I asked him to wear a condom for me again, but he told me that he didn't mind. I know that it isn't as good for him when I ask him to wear a condom, but I feel better knowing that he's wearing one. He did agree to and consoled me when I felt guilty about asking him to. Is it neccesary for him to? He has had sex and oral once before (with a different partner, I mean), but as far as I know he doesn't have any STIs. He would tell me if he did, but there's always that little possibility that he does and doesn't know it.

 

I know oral isn't as risky as other forms of sex, but there's still risk involved. But is it risky enough to keep requesting a condom?

 

And then there's the whole spit/swallow issue. Condoms just seem to simplify things. Am I just being silly about the whole thing? I feel better with a condom, but on the other hand, it would be awesome (esp. for him) without one.

[italianstalian]

even though condoms are safer...........they take alot of the pleasure out of it. I dont see the problem with not using a condom just make sure hes clean and youll be fine

[Jhodas]

I agree with 'Rocky' ^^ (lol)

 

Depending on what condoms you're using, dont be afraid to get firm with his member. It's not an ice cream, you won't put a hole in it if you press too hard with your tongue.

 

I'll let you in on a little secret from a guys point of view:

There's a spot on the underside of the penis that is very responsive to pressure and friction, not far from the tip. Try and press/lick it firmly with your tongue. He should let you know when you find it, it's probably the closest thing us guys have to a clitoris. Other than that, it sounds like you're on the right track. And your bf does sound like a nice guy.

 

Just out of curiosity, have you let him return the favour?

[lilac_indi]

When i did that for the first time i was very nervous with my ex.

Wot i did though was that at first i used my hand, then i started to kiss the penis all over and licking it. When i got to the head i kissed it slowly then i put my mouth around it and went further and started to suck slowly. While i was doing this i massaged his balls with one hand and i stroked his bum with the other and occasionally squeezed his butt cheeks gently. He absolutely loved it and was convinced that was not my first time lol. we are both virgins and plus he had never experienced this before so i knew that even if i did perform badly he had no one else to compare me with lol,.

[Sylph]

I'd suggest communication but I know it's actually really difficult to find the courage to give directions when it's being done to you. Which sounds really silly but it's true enough. The chances are he'll say he's enjoying it no matter when you ask him but you can feed off his physical reponses, I'm sure you've noticed him react just after you've touched a certain spot or done something in particular. Especially the spot Jhodas mentioned, I can confirm that feels good~

 

Cupping his testicles was also mentioned, some guys like that but other don't, the only reason I mention it is to tell you to be careful. Pulling or squeezing too hard can be a really bad mistake and will more or less end all pleasure right there while he recovers.

 

One other thing that might not seem so obvious, you don't have to have him in your mouth all the time. Licking along the length can be very pleasurable and usually a good place to start with rather than going right in. Remember that sometimes less really can be more.

 

Also, don't worry about the condom thing. All women have personal preferances but at the same time I wouldn't worry about STIs unless you know he has something. I make sure to be extremely careful about using protection but I've never felt the need to use one (or been asked to use one infact) for oral sex.

[TheWriter1]

i know this is going to get some weird reaction but whatever i have to say it...theres an easy way to get around this too, just make sure you only give oral to your boyfriend or someone you know isn't infected....but...

 

i can hardly feel a thing during sex with a condom...

 

how in the world he felt a thing with only your mouth is beyond me

[Cadence308]

Ask him to show you how he likes to be touched with his hands then try to mimic it. Someone suggested on another thread to watch some porn. The stars on there are great for "showing how to do it." Usually, the head, which is the glans of the penis is the most sensitive part. This part of the penis is homologous to the clitoris of the female. Flick your tongue accross that and he will enjoy that, I guarantee it. Lick the underside of his penis up and down a few times when you first start to go. It's also a very sensitive region. Some guys like their scrotum to be licked or sucked. Maybe do that a few times. Some guys like you to occasionally give their scrotum a squeeze or two. Do that a few times.

 

See, it's really hard to tell you what to do exactly. It all depends on your boyfriend and experimenting with him will give you practice. You are still really young and have plenty of time to become proficient at giving a guy oral!

[Sylph]

i can hardly feel a thing during sex with a condom...

Well there are different thicknesses of condom available.

 

Ask him to show you how he likes to be touched with his hands then try to mimic it. Someone suggested on another thread to watch some porn. The stars on there are great for "showing how to do it."

As fun as watching porn together is, 9 out of 10 times it's really, really bad as any kind of referance at all. Really nothing beats practice and experimenting.

[7CardStud]

If your looking for a tip... What my g/f does drives me crazy and feels unbelievable... Try staying at the very head of his penis... You dont even have to go down that far... I can barely stand it, it drives me crazy and makes me squirm but feels so good.

 

With the condom issue... If he's clean and your clean. shouldn't be a problem. If your worried bout spitting and swallowing... You can always just stop and while he is cuming use your hands. Dont do anything you arent ready for.