Ex wants to meet again....?

[sdw]

Ok, my ex has been being more friendly to me of late since I put into practice what I learned on this site. Stop contacting her, if she contacts me, treat her like any other girl, don't make excuses to see her, don't ever appear emotional to her.

 

So i've been doing this, I sent her a christmas card, didn't write love on it or anything, just a card like I would send to a friend. She sent me one and my parents one. Both very kind, the one to me was very affectionate. Still I wasn't about to be friendly, get in contact or suggest meeting up.

 

Now, we bought a rabbit together and since we broke up and I've moved out, she kept it (fine with me). Now she asked out the blue if I could pop in to check on him the day after Christmas because she'll be away (I'm sure the rabbit will be fine, I mean I left him for a couple of days and he was OK!), and if that's OK would I like to meet for a drink so she can give me her spare keys....before she was always "too busy" to reply to my emails, today she's replied 3 times each within 10 minutes of my replies.

 

So the advice I need is

 

1) I have changed my behaviour towards her to what I describe above so that I can get back some of my power, I think I risk losing this if I go see her. Any other advice on how I should act ?

 

2) Is she making an excuse for us to meet before and then after Christmas (i'll need to give her her keys back) ?

 

I'm doing my level best to get over this girl she hurt me really badly, I'm a bit frightened of meeting her, though if I do I'll just carry on with the "just another mate" act. Argh....women!!

 

Thanks for reading,

Steve.

[sidhat]

Steve,

 

I would suggest that keep your self busy with your stuffs, If she need her stuff back she will contact you again,,she might be checking you that you are still avaiable or not....Just be kool and stay calm near her and show her that I dont care if you leave me..

Dude never ever become her friend bcoz she might hurt you again.. just let her go the way she is.. just be normal..If she wants you badly she will show...

JUST WAIT FOR GOOD TIME..

 

GOOD LUCK!!!

[Hope75]

Sdw,

 

OK, speaking from a a girl's point of view, (and strictly my own, as I don't know your story or situation)

 

I'd say, Yes she is making up excuses to see you, it sounds like she is probably still interested in you. Would you consider this good or bad?

 

What do you ultimately want to happen between the two of you? Do you want her back? Are you looking to be just friends? Or do you want her out of your life without hurting her feelings?

 

I think having a drink with her is harmless, just be yourself and don't be overly cold, or overly mushy. See how it goes, see if she acts affectionate with you, try to see what she's looking for out of this, unless you already know. If she makes you uncomfortable with her actions, tell her you are not comfortable with the way she is acting towards you and you would appreciate if she would not behave that way.

 

If you know she wants you back and you have no intention of taking her back, maybe you can just suggest leaving the key under the mat or somewhere specific and you won't have to see her.

 

I am getting from this that you are the dumpee? (me, too...... )

 

Huh. Happy Holidays! ugh!

[sdw]

Yes - I was the dumpee in this one, was totally crushed and it hurt more than anything else I'd ever been through. Self esteem took a massive nosedive (i guess you know the feeling).

 

I'm suspiscous because of the way she brought this up, it was like a random thought and not something she had given much thought, if the rabbit was going to need feeding etc...which it doesn't I;m sure it will survive for a few more hours until she gets back the next morning...why didn't she let me know this a while ago, when she found out her plans ?

 

Getting back with her is not really realistic, my parents were not pleased when they found out she gave them a christmas card through me, they would be mad if they even knew I was meeting her.

 

I'm confused, we were great friends and very very close, it was one of those bizarre relationships where we were so close she used to say she could feel me when I wasn't around her etc. But so much has changed, I feel like I should help her and not accuse her of trying to manipulate me because I said to her when we broke up that I would help with the rabbit when she needed it.

 

But, if I go I'm just gonna treat her like any other friend, no emtion no personal thoughts no confrontation etc. I feel like the best I can do is act pretty indifferent at best supportive towards her, I don't want to act in a way that will give her any reason to think I haven't moved on and that she holds any power over me....she always said that she would like us to remain good friends, so I reckon that's all she probably wants, it's just a little odd....I noticed too her email when I agreed to meet her was signed with an "x" for the first time since we broke up. I wouldn't put it past her to be trying to make herself feel stronger, but I wont let her.....

 

Steve.

[martyj]

hey SDW,

 

I think the sensible thing would be to ask her to leave the key under the mat although i would probably want to see her.

 

If you do feed the rabbit tell her you will pop the spare keys back thru the letter box as you have things planned over the holidays and next time she texts leave it a few hours before getting back to her. Creates mystery and suspense and it doesnt matter about a game as lets face it it all seems to be a game and unfortunately we all seem to want to play it.

 

Anyway whatever you do let me know i will look for an update later tonight or PM me, you never know dude we may cross paths one day as we live so near.

 

Take it easy and hopefully you will be taking advantage of Mylo djing over the festive period in your grand city.

 

Martyj

[sdw]

She rarely texts of emails, apart from the cards this week and her suggestion that we meet, the last couple of weeks have been almost silent, it'll be 2 and a half weeks since we last met up. I'll let you know how I get on tonight. It does seem to be a bit of a game doesn't it, neither of us have emailed today to confirm the time and place so I'm assuming it hasn't changed. In the past I would've emailed her to confirm, but not now. Yeah - I think I'll just stick the keys back thru the letterbox when I'm done, that would avoid another meeting and make it seem that I'm not bothered about actually meeting her again.

[martyj]

from your silence i wonder if it was successful last night?