Which is more common?

[cassiana]

Heres my question. Which is more true for you "Out Of sight out of mind" or "absense makes the heart go fonder"?

Is it different for the different genders?

Do men or women miss their exs more.

Do more male or female dumpers regret their decision?

[Wimpy]

Hey that's the $64,000 question isn't it!!!

 

I've fallen in love with a guy who's in my country studying but he's about to leave to go back to his home country on the other side of the world. We both love one another but he's not quite ready to take the next step in our relationship. We've known each other for 2 years and been dating for a year so I'm confident that it will all work out okay. He's already starting to say he's beginning to realise how much he's going to miss me. I think that sometimes men, especially, can't be pushed or rushed into making a decision about things/committment/love etc without being given time to realise that absense really does make the heart grow fonder. When he went home for a month last year on holiday I missed him like mad. When I went away for a week earlier this year it was HE who started texting me halfway through the holiday asking how I was and if we could meet up when I got back (like the DAY I got back!!). He said that for the first few days he was okay to be getting on with what he had to do but after a few days he began to miss having me around to talk to and ask how I was. So in answer I don't think it's so much a gender thing than a personal thing to the person.

 

Hope that helps but I'll be watching out for answers to this topic for sure!!!

[marijo2480]

Heres my question. Which is more true for you "Out Of sight out of mind" or "absense makes the heart go fonder"?

Is it different for the different genders?

Do men or women miss their exs more.

Do more male or female dumpers regret their decision?

 

I think it depends on the relationship. I would like to think that it's "Absense makes the heart grow fonder" but it's not always the case. Some people fall into temptation when missing the other person and thereforeeee cause problems leading to break ups in the relationship. I don't think it's different between genders. I will say that women probably have more of an emotional attachment to the situation but some men are just as emotional as well.

 

In terms of missing the ex, I don't think gender is the issue. I think it's more in terms of how your previous relationship ended and why, and how your new relationship is going.

 

Ha, I think that's a good poll. I don't think, again, that gender is an issue but I'm sure lots of people regret dumping someone. I hate to regret things that I do in life, even mistakes, but I do regret dumping one guy to go back to an ex. I would never go looking for him though, just because I am prideful!

 

I don't know. What do others think?

[Protex]

Absense is to love as wind is to fire. Extinguishes the small and inflames the great.

[MrLonely]

Absense is to love as wind is to fire. Extinguishes the small and inflames the great.

 

If thats true, what a saying!

[cassiana]

I like that analogy too. Could i had my own hopeful spin to it.

As long as you have an ember and fan it gently you can bring back the flame. Fan it too hard and extinguish it forever.

[detox5]

marijo2480

 

"mistakes are the portals of discoveries"

 

and the last person said loose it forever? Ive lost my ex forever 4 times and she keeps commin back somehow, not sure loosing it forever is always the case, ive done some big buggin in my break up with her and during this year, from which i would of thought would drive anyway, she would always manage to contact me again, it was never a "never gonna talk to me again" thing. Maybe its true love that she dont go forever

 

nice thought ppl anyways

 

Det

[panchala23]

Man oh man is that ever the million dollar question. I think if the love is real it is impossible for out of sight out of mind to be the case because every little freaking thing reminds you of the person. My chapstick reminds me of her, my coat reminds me of her, most of my clothes remind me of her hahaha. Actually, everything I have reminds me of her...even my apartment. Absense makes the heart grow fonder to me is definitely true if the relationship lasted a while and was positive. Who knows though, it really just depends on the mindset of the person i guess.

[detox5]

Its so annoying when evertything reminds you of them, for a while I would just tilde my head, and say damn, when will it end. Now i smile and and heh when will it end, lol torture of being reminded of them.

[Break up Veteran]

I think it depends on the individual,

 

Some people are very good at letting go and some people refuse to give up.

 

I agree that the circumstances of the break up can greatly influence how much you miss each other or regret the break up.

 

detox5, like your situation I can't seem to shake my ex, not that I want to. It seems no matter what I do or say she won't completely let go. I have been very harsh at times and tried to shut her off completely, but she is insistent on trying to keep me around (she left me FYI).

 

As to things that remind you of your ex, my ex has it worse than me. I have managed to remove or hide most of the things that symbolised 'us' to help me heal, whereas she is left living in the flat we shared for 3 of our 5 years together. There is so much stuff there that reminds her of me it's scary: furniture and all kinds of stuff that can't be put in a box.

 

Even now, 9 months after I moved out of the flat my ex still calls me to ask if I know where things are in the flat. Everytime I remind her that I no longer live there and wouldn't know she gets upset. I guess she is so used to me knowing where everything is and sorting things out for her.

[cassiana]

my girlfriend(as in platonic) left her boyfriend several times because he is so inconsiderate. She wants him to love her and make her a priority in his life. But his job, his mates, his family and his beer all come before her. Maybe your ex left you for similar reasons.