Be nice? Or be different?

[antzca2000]

Last year I had a major crush on this one girl, I think she liked me at first too. I tried to show her I like her by being as nice as I can be, and I have to say it wasn't cheap to do so. But eventually she stopped talking to me, even ignoring me on msn.

 

Then I tried something else, I wasn't really nice anymore. In fact everytime I was hanging out with a girl I'd make fun of them (not in a mean way) for the whole time we were out together. For some reason this seem to click better with girls, these girls I don't like started trying to talk to me, tried to get my number (which I never gave cause you know how annoying some teeange girls can get).

 

But my question to all the other ladies (and guys if you have experience with this). Is wether or not it's true for you that you fall for guys more when they tease you in a conversation. (Guys feel free to comment on this)

 

 

Btw with the teasing thing the girl I had a crush on is starting to talk to me on msn, course her chance came and left

[ksk0_0]

Note: We call this flirting

(No disrespect man)

[antzca2000]

well there are more then one way of flirting. Making eye contact is flirting, physical touch is flirting, everything can be considered a form of flirting these days. Even paying the dinner bill or holding a door open for your girl.

[Deckman33]

Well I'd say that if you are very very nice to the extent of being desperate like, it definitely becomes a turn off for some or maybe most girls. You can be nice and being a tease, and flirty and what not, it'll have the same effect I guess...

cheers,

[striderhiryu81]

Ha ha. I liked how you ended your post

Btw with the teasing thing the girl I had a crush on is starting to talk to me on msn, course her chance came and left

haha...her loss, right?

 

Yes, girls tend to respond more when you are a bit of a challenge to them. When they have to work a little bit to get to you they like that. When you are just their doormat and do whatever they ask or want you to do, then why would they respect you? I learned that the hard way. Girls will lie to you and say "oh, I want a guy that is sweet and thoughtful and not a jerk" and then they go out with the jerk! whats up with that?

 

The jerk has confidence. Confidence is attractive. Soon his inner jerk comes out and turns the girl off, but the confidence attracts her initially.

 

You are doing good with the teasing and being funny and whatnot. You are confronting them and saying, "Hey, I'm confident and funny, what about you? Can you handle a little pressure?"

 

Women know what they want but they almost always go after the wrong guys to get it...thats why sometimes you might wonder "Why does she like that jerk?" Just borrow a page from his confidence handbook and be your nice self when the time is right and you'll be on her Christmas wish list heh...

[ksk0_0]

hehe yeah, thats the new generation these days

Anyways, you said "It wasn't cheap to do so" on your first post, meaning you paid for mostly everything no? That's kind of being TOO nice isn't it? I mean the girl also has money, everyone does so she should pay for herself once in a while.

[antzca2000]

hehe yeah, thats the new generation these days

Anyways, you said "It wasn't cheap to do so" on your first post, meaning you paid for mostly everything no? That's kind of being TOO nice isn't it? I mean the girl also has money, everyone does so she should pay for herself once in a while.

 

 

oooh we have some very observant people on this board.

 

 

Yab I paid for som stuff. And yes it's too nice, and I learned it the hardway.

 

I've fixed the problem though, now im all ghetto.

 

striderhiryu81, if only I saw your post a little earlier.....

[striderhiryu81]

Haha, if only I saw my post a little earlier....

 

Lots of frustration could have been avoided on my part as well, but its best we get burned once because its unlikely that we'll ever act in that way again.

 

Another thing I learned, don't ever let your guard down around a woman. I rarely ever take what they say at face value anymore. When they say they like a guy to be thoughtful and plan ahead, they are telling the truth, but they leave out the part about wanting someone who is "spontaneous" and they'll place that above the being "thoughtful" part!

 

Whats funny about all of this is that you have to be thoughtful and plan on looking spontaneous to her! Rehearse in your mind almost everything from conversations and comebacks to statements that she might say. That way you'll be prepared. If she throws you for a loop, all of the thinking you've done earlier has prepared your mind to think a little bit quicker so that you WILL BECOME spontaneous.

 

Its hard to explain that last paragraph... I don't mean sit there and talk to yourself all day long. Just know where you will be and what types of conversations might come up, basically. Have interesting topics in mind so you aren't just sitting there being bored (and more importantly neither is she). And learn a few places around your town that are fun things to do and don't tell her that you had one of the places in mind. Just out of nowhere just say "hey, you know what would be fun? (name of activity or place)!" And then take her to the place that you had already had planned out. It makes you look like you are just down for anything at anytime...they like that. She doesn't have to know that you had it planned all along right?

[antzca2000]

^smooooth, ill try it out next time im meeting a girl

[Sexychiick16]

it depends i guess... You know Its a way of flirting and us girls pick up on that and I myself somehow lean towards the guy i can call my best friend and kiss at the same time without feeling awqard.,..

 

SO I myself like guys like that...All girls have diff opinons on this tho...But yeah...Playin around in a not too mean way with a guy actually makes me more comforable with them... Just don't take to the point of being annoyin

[ShySoul]

Bottom line, just be yourself. If you are naturally playful and a joker, then that will work. If you are a nice gentleman, then keep doing that. Don't overthink a girls actions or try to make yourself more appealing to her. Just be yourself and she should like you for you. If she does than everything works out great. If she doesn't then she wasn't the girl for you.

[antzca2000]

^ i used to think that, but it didnt really work. Truth is now I think we have to at least place in some effort to attract a girl, then allow her to appreciate us for who we are. If we can't even attract them, they won't get a chance to really like who you ARE.

[ShySoul]

Which would you prefer: someone who you have to make yourself attractive for before they'll take the time to see the real you or someone who understands the real you and that causes them to be attracted to you? I don't believe that a lasting, meaningful relationship can begin based upon flirting or some superficial attraction. The best relationships start when two people truly understand each other and respect each other for who they are on the inside, not the face they put on for others but for their true selfs. And you are putting in an effort. You are taking the effort to talk to them and get to know them, and in turn they should be putting in the effort to get to know you.

 

Not to generalize or anything, but maybe the reason you found it didn't work is because you're 17, still young. At that age, for that matter at my age, most people don't fully grasp what love is. They focus on attraction more and many girls go for the bad boy who teases them. But as you grow older people mature and hopefully begin to see that appearances can be deceiving.