Question, Please Help!

[DarianSS]

Hey everybody, I have a question. Although this question i guess is more toward the ladies of the forum, i'm open to support from all. I was with my ex for 4 years, she was my first. She was very very vocal in bed, very active, loved to give into every fetish that i had, seemingly couldn't go 20 min. without showing me some sign that she wanted me in bed. Well we broke up, and now i'm with a new girl..who is everything i want in a girl that i didn't have in my ex except for in bed it seems. She is alot less vocal, not as spontaneous, and seemingly shy about any fetishes. This makes me very withdrawn in bed and shy, with my ex it was very easy to tell she was enjoying sex, with my new gf, it's very hard for me. I only have fun in bed if i know my partner is enjoying it, so it's really hard for me to say that i actually enjoy sex with her...Any suggestions on how to help her come out of her shell?

[hockeyboy]

been there. my ex was the same way as your ex and the newer girl (also an ex now) was like you current gf.

 

first of all..time. it takes time to make her feel comfortable with you, have patience.

 

also realize she is not the same girl. with the first girl, we always had crazy kinky sex. we did pretty much everything and it was a lot of fun.

 

with the new girl however, i started enjoying making love to her more rather then just *PROFANITY DELETED BY MODERATOR* her.

 

there is a big difference. making love is a lot more emotional and can satisfy you in a different way.

[Tinkerbell]

Why don't you just try encouraging her? Let her know that you're up for pleasing her in whatever way possible (hopefully she's not into anything TOO kinky), and ask her to show you when she's enjoying herself so you can do whatever it is some more. Perhaps try something new, like purchasing a flavored lubricant or a sex game and see how she reacts to it.

 

If she's still rather shy, I suppose you're just going to have to be blunt by telling her that as much as you like her, you'd like her even more if she would loosen up a bit in bed.

[DarianSS]

I will try that tinkerbell, thanks both of you.

[Day_Walker]

i doubt that vocally things will increase. What you need to do is see what other indicators she is using to show that she is enjoying herself. She may be more reserved but she is still going to give some kind of signal however it can be suttle so you are going to have to pay attention. More importantly you need to comunicate with her and see what she likes if she isnt going to tell you in bed then hopefully she will share outside of the bedroom.