Trying to comprehend his actions and heal

[Allipie]

Well as i have posted before-guy got me pregnant and bailed when i lost it. Completely turned his back on me, ignored me when he knew i was severely depresseed etc.

the other day i learned that the whole time ive been trying to deal with losing a child, he has been on an online dating site...picking up women. Im so blown away at how heartless and cold his behavior is. I cant believe he values going on a dating site to meet women over being there for the woman who was always there for him and who had just lost his child a few months ago.

I am trying to move forward. Its hard. Very hard. I have this horrible depression that i am trying to work through and this new info just pushed me back.

[silversoul]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Most likely it is his defence mechanism, distracting himself from the reality and pain of the break-up. Or he is just plain selfish and you are so much better of without him. From my break up, I learned that people can be heartless and cold. Are you in therapy?

[toby4]

Life sometime can hit us hard, it sucks and there's no other way to put it. But it's these tough times that form who we are and let us see what we want. I'm really sorry for your loss and i hope things start to get better, try and do things for you again. Learn you're worthy of being loved and that you deserve much better than a man (if you can even call him that) like him.

[Allipie]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Most likely it is his defence mechanism, distracting himself from the reality and pain of the break-up. Or he is just plain selfish and you are so much better of without him. From my break up, I learned that people can be heartless and cold. Are you in therapy?

Yes i am in therapy. Dont have an appointment until next week.

You may be right about the defense mechanism. Like he needs the attention from women to make him feel good.

 

Toby-thank you. Its a blessing in disguise i guess....not having to be tied to him for 18 years. He did agree to pay the hospital bill but is giving me the run around about it. He got mad bc i told him to pay it over the phone (dont have stamps/envelopes and its stupid to mail it accross town) and called me a b*tch. Then a few weeks later i reminded him to pay it soon and he said he would but is short on money bc hes buying a house....? I told him about it a month ago and why do i care if hes buying a house?? I think im just going to pay it myself, like set up a payment plan.

Its been a nightmare dealing with him. Like if i facebook message him he wont read it (to avoid read receipts) but he will still be posting statuses etc. its so childish. Its like..just stop avoiding it and face it like a man.

[toby4]

Yes he seems very immature and for your sake I'm glad you no longer are in a relationship with him. I hope that his actions are showing you just how unattractive he really is

[Allipie]

Yes he seems very immature and for your sake I'm glad you no longer are in a relationship with him. I hope that his actions are showing you just how unattractive he really is

 

It has definitely shown me he is not who i thought he was.

But one day he will regret it. I was good to him-kind and loving. And he threw it all away because he doesnt know how to cope with life.

[Allipie]

!!!!!

I want to tell him that i know about his dating profile...i know i should t say anything. I mean, his personal life is not my business but i am just so hurt

 

Talk me out of it

[Twidom]

!!!!!

I want to tell him that i know about his dating profile...i know i should t say anything. I mean, his personal life is not my business but i am just so hurt

 

Talk me out of it

 

You two are not together anymore. You have absolute no right whatsoever to interfere with his life or future plans. Let it go. He's not part of you anymore.

[Allipie]

You two are not together anymore. You have absolute no right whatsoever to interfere with his life or future plans. Let it go. He's not part of you anymore.

 

I know my ego is just bruised and my brain chemistry is still messed up from the miscarriage. Cant seem so think logically

Maybe i should block him on fb even tho im still working on making sure he pays the medical bill. I need to just give up on him but theres that part of me that for whatever reason wants to keep fighting for him. Grrrr

[Twidom]

I know my ego is just bruised and my brain chemistry is still messed up from the miscarriage. Cant seem so think logically

Maybe i should block him on fb even tho im still working on making sure he pays the medical bill. I need to just give up on him but theres that part of me that for whatever reason wants to keep fighting for him. Grrrr

 

I'll ask you something I usually ask everyone here on ENA...Do you miss HIM or do you miss what he represents? Someone to love and care for you? Once that is cleared, your path will be much easier.

 

About the bills, be sure he's paying them and block him ASAP.

[Allipie]

I'll ask you something I usually ask everyone here on ENA...Do you miss HIM or do you miss what he represents? Someone to love and care for you? Once that is cleared, your path will be much easier.

 

About the bills, be sure he's paying them and block him ASAP.

 

I miss HIM...but the HIM that is nice and sweet. However...im thinking the nice and sweet is only when it serves his best interest.

The last time i saw him he poured his heart out about how insecure he is and how he just wants everyone to like him. I dont think...i know what is the real HIM and what is fake.

 

As for the bill...like i said before, hes giving me the runaround about it....saying he is buying a house...but the bill is only $100 (ive missed a lot of work and am super short on cash) and he makes REALLY good money. Im thinking...its just a mind game. Like a weird manipulative mind game.