should I go on this date tonite?

[wwj]

Hi everyone. I am just thru a recent breakup and this guy asked me out last week, I said yes, and then backed out. He asked me out again for tonight, and I just don't feel like doing it. Everyone is telling me to go, there is no hope for my old relationship, but, I feel so blah...

What would you do? I know if I blow this guy off again, he won't ask me again. That's understandable.

So what would you do?

[SandyD]

I would go. You may feel "blah" now, but there is a chance the date will turn your mood around. If you still feel "blah" when you´re out, just have a backup plan to call things short. Good luck!

[Tryingtobestrong]

If you like him, go out and have fun. Treat him as if he were a friend. It is a first date so the main goal should be discovering if you have a good time together anyway.

 

He should not be expecting more than that for now.

 

Go out, try to have fun and see if you like him. Maybe you can make a new friend.

 

You dont have to give up hope for your old relationship to go out with him, just enjoy a nice person's company.

 

Have fun

[CarterJonas]

Go!

 

Keep the date as 'friends' if you are not sure of your feelings towards him. I'm sure you will have a fun time!

[Mix Maxster]

Why you asking us to decide something so important as this? I feel honoured, but really I would say none of us have that right to choose what is best for you.

 

I would say don't worry about how you'll affect other people, the chances of your ex coming back, or the chances things will get all weird if your ex comes back after you've dated this guy. It's hard to say what would become of it and it's better to go through life taking chances with things than saying "if only I had done ___ maybe things would be different".

 

The best thing for you to do is do whatever you FEEL is right, you can make the decision. Don't do it for anyone else BUT you alright?

 

Max

[wwj]

I went on the date. It was OK. I didn't think of my ex all nite, but, sad that he never called me in all of this time. It's odd to realize that after they said they loved you so much, and called you constantly, that after one moment, it would all stop

[Tryingtobestrong]

Hi wwj,

 

good that you went and the evening was okay.

 

I know how hard it is when they suddenly stop contacting you, trust me there are millions of people out there who feel the same way.

 

I hope you will be more happy soon.

 

All the best

[Mix Maxster]

To answer this question is the same answer to the question my friend asked me.

 

He asked me why it is I had my doubts about his engagement between his gf and himself. I said because I believe you two love each other right now, that you really mean it and are intending on getting married. You're not lying to yourselves about that, you really do mean it. However the problem is is that people are never sure of anything no matter how sure they feel they are, their feelings could change sometime later.

 

The point was that we really do mean it when we say "I love you" to that person and the very fact that it all stops doesn't mean they never did, it's that their feelings changed and they no longer love you. Things like this happen, people are VERY sure in their decisions and feelings and then only have them change later on.

 

This is something I have come to realize, another thing is that we have no control over them. They're gone and we gotta stop thinking like they're going to come back no matter how likely we feel it is. I've said it many times to others that if you have no control over it, why plague your mind with endless thoughts of them?

 

The fact that they're gone should be enough for us to say to ourselves "This stinks, but there's nothign I can do but learn from it and not do it again to the next person OR IF I had a second chance."

 

Just we remember, we have no control over them. We can't get them back if we don't first live our lives like we're not going to get them back. It's an unfortunate reality, but the good news is is that there are others out there who have been hurt many times and are looking for a great catch to love. Maybe one day we'll find that person or they'll find us.

[arwen]

hey wwj,

 

Good thing you went on a date. After all, it took your mind off your sorrow and grief for some moments. I know, it's so hard to realize someone will never be the same person for you again. But after a while, you will be able to give it a place in your memories and move on. Someone here has a beautiful signature: don't cry because it's over, be happy it happened. Of course a lot of tears are all part of the process, but in a while you will be able to see the beauty of what you had without regret.

 

Hope you feel better,

 

Ilse.

[wwj]

Thanks everyone. I guess it is hard to realize that they loved us one minute and then all of a sudden it changed--for whatever reason. I know that we can't get inside their heads! But, does anyone else walk around with their phones at all times? I can't believe that I do that! I go everywhere-even the bathroom with my home phone and cell.

 

Now I'm really quite a normal person, but, the fact that I think about him calling me constantly is crazy. I just wonder when I will be able to only think about him here and there.

 

What makes them change their minds about us so fast?

Thanks

[ebola316]

I know the phones can drive you crazy. First the silence is deafening-then when it rings, you jump, only to look at the id and see it's not him.

 

Mine hasn't called for 4 days now, and last night, I thought I was going to go crazy. But the truth of the matter is if they were thinking of us they would call. If they wanted to come back, they would.

 

We have to have a back-up plan. It comforting to think they'll come to their senses and come back. But they may not, and we have to be able to survive.