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looking for outside opinions....

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hello, I'm new here and am looking for outside opinions so here I go might get a little lengthly sorry in advance if it does.


I have been dating my BF for 1.5 years we live 2 hours apart but he drives to my house almost daily ( stays the night) we go to his place once in a while not too often though i ( i have kids and its easier this way)( were looking for a place now to move in together) anyhow, about a month ago i started getting weird feelings( womens intuition?) something was right. yep you guessed it i went snooping in his email account I know bad move BUT i did..what i found was pretty disturbing... an email and yahoo offline message from this woman ( for lack of better words) the subject line read: "Hope this is still your email" content: hey sexy man, I tried calling your cell ( it was disconnected about a week prior and he has a new one) your cell isnt working blah blah... i really want you to "CUM" over this friday call me and she left work and home number needless to say i was pissed, but i pulled myself together and called him told him i was in his email ( he wasnt mad at all) and what i found.. i want to talk about it when he gets here... so he comes over after work i threw the email at him and told him to explain. supposedly, this is a girl he "messed" around with before we got together and saw her once when we first started dating ( not exclusive yet) i told him to call her or i was, well,he called her...the next day at work! Grrrrrrr i had that funny feeling he would call her so i text him and told him i think we should go our separate way i KNOW he called her and wasnt putting up with this.there was no reason for him to call her like that out of my presense. right? he called me immediately we talked a short time and agreed to talk about it when he got off work again. i explained to him that it could POSSIBLY but highly unlikely be that he hasnt talked to her and she just took the chance to email him But after a YEAR of not talking you send an email like thatto someone not knowing their situation? i might be dumb but im far from stupid, he admitted talking to her but has not seen her since we became exclusive...he loves me and wants to be with me and only me. blah blah..i told him ( like he told me from the beginning, friends of the opposite sex are ok but old FB's theres no room in our relationship for we both agreed so what the heck? double standard?)

so, now i send her and email ( not rude) just letting her know he has a GF and if she really needed to talk to him call my house since thats where hes at the majority of the time! lol she never responded ha! didnt think she would but hey worth a shot made me feel a little better..

sorry i know this is long... but anyways he bowls of "friday nights"( has since we met) i get very disturbed when he dosnt come over after bowling( he usually does but some fridays lately he hasnt) and i cant stop thinking about this email and coincidentally she wanted him over on a "friday night" Grrr other than this situation he pretty much hasnt given me a reason not to trust him. im just lost, confused and scared i guess. i really love him and dont know what to do to get over this..... can anyone offer some advise? thanks again for listening i needed to vent! oh sorry lol one more thing he deleted his 2 screennames and made one new one and gave me full access to it. i told him that wasnt necessary but thanks!

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hey ,


He wants your trust fully, and what he's been telling you is probably true. He's giving u access to what is personal to him (his IM and what not). He doesnt seem to be hiding anything and seems to care for you. He's trying hard to get your trust. Just try to overcome your insecurities, it might be hard, but he seems to be genuine.


If it still bothers you, you better solve it quick before the feeling stays with u too long and damages your relationship.

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Hi Pal,

I hope u can be considerate to the feelings other gal while u are thinking up of what u wan to do with a situation like this.

I know it is gotta be difficult for u to trust in him totally, but i believe u shld make sure he EARNS his trust from u, every pence and pound of it, coz trust is not something that can be Hurled as a screenname to u. Method one, stay strong for what u believe in, what a good guy shld do, and TELLS him OFF!.. mind u, not telling him nicely and sweetly. And second method which works best with the first one, ACT AND BE A DIGNIFIED WOMAN, i believe u DO NOT have to scoop to that low for a relationship with a GUY tat had betrayed u. I mean u dun have to email to that woman anything and ignore that Guy. LOlx! I know guys hate to be ignored! they hate transparency! Next, keep in mind that there are still options ard, u nebber know a frd of urs would still wan to be with u, why not hang out for a while, and see whether he comes running back for u in pants, trousers and his BRIEFS.. LoLX!.. U can have a try on that.

And yup! Stay strong, u can be a very strong woman with guys BOWLED OVER U, HEAD OVER HEEDS! LolX!! If he is urs, he will be urs. Stay cool!


Thanks for reading..

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