Your attitude while you cut

[Opheliaccs]

I just wanted to know about what you do while you cut:

1. do you usually cry?(either befire, during or after)

2. Do you scream or grunt from the pain of it?

 

 

To answer my own questions:

1: No, sometimes I cry a litlle before, but as soon as I get to cutting it stops. A couple of days ago I ended up crying really badly because I needed to cut I coudn't find my blade. But once I did the tears went away replaced by blissful and less hurtful dropplets of blood.

 

2.: I gasp a bit sometimes, I'm rather silent while I cut.

[ShroudedSorrow24]

1. do you usually cry?(either befire, during or after)

2. Do you scream or grunt from the pain of it?

 

 

1&2. Usually laugh hysterically and my eyes tear up...not really crying though

[avman]

I know you'd said before that you aren't ready to stop cutting just yet. Thats a decision you'll have to make on your own. I know nobody can force you to stop if you aren't ready to.

 

But in the meantime, I'd like you to at least be very careful that you treat yourself properly with first aid and such. You don't want to make it something worse like cutting an artery or getting an infection.

 

Please read this site: link removed

 

It gives some tips on first aid. How to consider whether you might be ready to stop injuring. And also, some alternatives to try that can achieve the same purpose as the cutting. Its not something that people can easily quit cold turkey because its an outlet to release stress and pain. But some of the alternatives are some things you can try which do not leave permanent scars (so then you don't have to explain to anyone why they are there).

 

One tip I'll give you is to take a couple of ice cubes (the big square ones) and crush them hard in your hand. It HURTS. But it doesn't leave any permanent damage. It can really stimulate your nerves and pain receptors in a similar fashion to the cutting.

 

This takes time but we're here to listen and to help.

[whathappensnext]

1. do you usually cry?(either befire, during or after): NOi'm upset but i don't really cry.

2. Do you scream or grunt from the pain of it? : no

[Opheliaccs]

avman:

 

1. I have my first aid kit, I tend carefully to my wounds and now I only use clean blades bougth for that specific purpose.

 

2. No, I'm not ready to quit, but I beg to differ on the cold turkey thing, I did it before, a bit less than 2 years ago after 2-3 moths of intense cutting I stopped cold turkey for more than a year, once things got better.

I'm going to start therapy soon and when things get better again I will stop once more.

 

3. About the ice thing I tried putting my hand y a bowl of ice once, whe I was considering suicide and not just cutting, I had read somewhere that it made your hand numb and allowed you to cut deeper and greater without so much pain but the feeling was just too unconfortable, it hurt like hell but without that nice soothing feeling and without the release of blood, I guess it's just not my cup of tea.

Besides I felt like an utter idiot sitting with my hand stuck in the salad bowl. Not that I feel particularly smart while bleeding over my hand.

 

4. About explaining the scars, I keep them very well hidden and only has one person asked me about them, it was a guy on the grocery store line(it was a sunday morning quick shop and I'd forgotten to put on my punk wrist band) and he looked truly curious, I think he just blurted out the question, I whispered in his ear that I enjoyed kinky bloodplay during sex, his face was priceless!! I felt kind of smug after that

[Desired1]

1.no

2.no

[Finchabald]

i can often cry before but the cutting sorts it. i dont grunt or nething. i cant even feel it nemore.

[NotJustAnybody]

For me this is what usually happens, i cry about something that has made me really upset and then i cut and all my wimpering and sobbing stops. I've been known to cry alot harder when i cant find my blade. I've foudn cutting and burning to be the worst addictions. I've been known to gasp or hold my breath sometimes while cutting. When burning i make noises, mostly just gasp though.

[thisisnotanexit]

i used to be very sad when i did it.

[lostlove]

1. i would often cry before it , and usually stop when i starting cutting. i suppose i was so concentrated on the blade that i just stopped crying.

2. no, never.

[SilverManic]

1. I don't userally cry before although I have done sometimes. I userally listen to music.

2. No.

[cujo]

1) yes i normally cry before

2) no i don't make any sounds because i like to listen to the sound of my skin tearing and the pain is too intense for sounds

 

 

i don't fear death and i don't fear life i am teetoring on the edge of both, and as i walk on this thin line i wonder ho many are like me? how many cut rather than yell, bleed rather than cry, and how many hold onto life lightly hoping to die but wanting to live -paige holt