she wont take the pill :mad:

[CoryD]

well i met my girl about 3 months ago, and we kinda fell in love pretty fast. we started having sex pretty fast as well since we both agreed its necessary. now we started with condoms but after a week, since we got tested and we are both clean, we decided to do it without a condom... now i know all that stuff about precum and i know when to pull out so i dont go inside her,

i suggested she takes the pill and she agreed the 1st time but then she told me that she wont do it because her mom wont let her... now her mom knows we dont use condoms but I DONT KNOW the reason she wont let her take it.. i just dont understand..

this really upsets me and leaves me thinking about our relationship... not just because of this but its all about what SHE wants...

so would u guys let me know if i should let this go or understand her and continue like this

 

plz and thx

[titan]

It could be that she is worried about the side effects.

[lady00]

You should really use condoms. You can't guarantee 100% that you won't get any precum or you won't come when you're having sex with your gf. Even if she went on the pill...it's not fail-safe and you should use condoms as a backup. The fact that her mom doesn't want her to go on the pill probably indicates that she doesn't want her daughter having sex in the first place. Is your gf under 18? Even if she is over 18, she may still be under the control of her parents, in which case she needs to respect their wishes. If you must have sex anyways, then you must use a condom otherwise you are seriously risking pregnancy.

[tea]

Well, there is a risk with girls under 22 eating birth control pills. Some have problems getting pregnant in the future. There are also birth control pill side effects... and while the pill reduces chances for a few cancers, it raises the chance of getting ovarian cancer dramatically.

 

...it could change the way her hormone functions, make her gain weight, lose interest in sex, etc, etc, etc.

 

Her mom's probably trying to protect her and she's probably telling you that you should still stick with condoms for now. Condoms aren't that expensive, and it's not a pill so it has no side effects.

[Iceman26]

Dude, what her mom doesnt know wont hurt her. Take her to Planned Parenthood, its all confidential.

[tea]

LOL.. or that's a way to solve it.

[diana084]

I say if you dont start using some kind of protection soon,then stop having sex,unless you wanna have a baby.Why wouldnt her mom let her take pills? how old is she? are you sure that her mom knows she's not using condoms? Cause if it was me,and my mom knew Ithat I wasnt using condoms then she would advise me to use something else.

Now,tell me,why dont you just use condoms? I know that sex without condoms is much better but do you really think you're ready to have unprotected sex? there's always the chance of pregnancy,even with pills and everything.

Every girl is different,you know,some dont like taking pills cause they think its a pain in the a*s to have to remember every day,or cause they're going to gain weight,etc.Maybe thats one of her reasons and she's not telling you? One of my friends didnt like using condoms,so I told her to go on the pill but she said she didnt want to get fat and then she got pregnant.

Really,unless you want a baby,stop having unprotected sex.

[RayKay]

Actually tea...this is a bit off topic but it reduces chances of ovarian cancer, though can increase risk of breast cancer slightly (though not that significant over regular rates, unless you have the genetic factor for breast cancer).

 

And today's pill is far different than the pill of years ago - lower hormone dosages mean less side effects. Her mom could be concerned about those, or maybe her family does have more risks...who knows.

 

 

Anyway, to original poster...the pill still is a personal choice and for some women it has more risks (stroke risks etc). Just like it is her choice to go on it, it is hers not to...so leave it and put the condom on!

[tea]

oops I got it wrong then. Do you know it's effect on vaginal cancer? I'm pretty sure between ovarian cancer and vaginal cancer it raises one but lowers the other, but I could be wrong on that too. =/ maybe I got the old info.

[RayKay]

tea - I looked up some info on pill and its association with cancers. There is one article I linked that does mention cervical cancer risk. t I imagine that since women on pill need regular checkups to renew a prescription there may even be earlier detection of cervical dysplasia/abnormalities. I know that before I went on the pill, they found problems with me and I underwent a few surgeries..might not have been caught if I had waited longer!

 

******************

 

link removed

 

"The combination pill offers many other benefits, including some protection against

 

acne

cancer of the lining of the uterus

cancer of the ovaries

ectopic pregnancy

excess body hair

iron deficiency anemia that can result from heavy menses

noncancerous breast growths

osteoporosis

ovarian cysts

premenstrual symptoms, as well as related headaches and depression

vaginal dryness and painful intercourse related to menopause

 

In fact, protection against developing cancer of the ovary or the lining of the uterus (endometrium) can last up to 30 years after stopping the combination pill. Protection against both of these types of cancer increases with each year of use:

 

Eight years of combination pill use reduces the risk of endometrial cancer by up to 80 percent.

Ten years of combination pill usGetting the Right Pill reduces the risk of ovarian cancer by up to 80 percent."

 

********

 

A pretty indepth description of the pill, including risks, positive benefits, what the pill is exactly, etc. This one mentions cervical cancer but says risk is slight and link not proved.

 

link removed,,215912_269246,00.html

 

********

 

Brief discussions of links to cancers (positive and negative)

 

link removed

 

link removed

 

********

[Amethyst]

this really upsets me and leaves me thinking about our relationship... not just because of this but its all about what SHE wants...

 

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black...

 

Seems to me that *you* are making it all about what *you* want. After all, you're the one upset because she won't get on the pill like you want her to.

 

Her reasons don't matter. Whether you like it or not, it's *her* body. You aren't the one who has to worry about remembering to take the pill. You aren't the one who has to worry about the side effects. You aren't the one who will go through hormonal changes as a result of it. You aren't the one it will effect; so, you aren't the one who gets to make the decision.

 

You should respect her enough to respect her wishes. If you don't, then I have to wonder why the two of you are together in the first place.

[tea]

I have to agree... I totally missed that, but that's awfully selfish of you.

 

you know, girls have 100% right to choose whatever birth control method they want to use and guys have no choice but to comply. Well, you have the choice of getting a surgery to be sterile or not getting the surgery and continue to produce sperms... the rest is up to her to decide.

 

Don't worry, in 5 years there will be birth control pills for men so you can also take a pill a day to stop yourself from producing active sperms. Then we'll all be happy and you can be the one deal with the side effects so neither of you need to use condoms.

[Meow18]

I can understand why it would upset you. I mean, its not safe to not use any kind of protection.

 

I agree with some of the others, yes, its her right to choose if she wants to take the pill. I am on the pill. My boyfriend just asked me to go on the pill. I said ok. If I said no and he was trying to pressure me into it, I would get mad. She gets a choice of what she wants to do. However, its not fair for her to not help take responsiblity in making sure you both have safe sex.

 

You know she won't go on the pill, that is her choice. I think the main issue now needs to be how you will have protected sex. Maybe you should talk to her about this. I think you are going to have to start wearing condoms again.

 

If you continue to have unprotected sex, then be careful. I don't think you should, but of course thats your choice. I can almost garantee you that if something happens and she becomes pregnant, she will regret not going on the pill and you will regret not wearing a condom.

[Yorkrose23]

Unless you're ready to be a father, you need protection, period.

[CoryD]

yea ok... thank u all for every post... but it seems like she is gonna take the pill afterall 8) EVEN SO i am going to use condoms... i dunno whats gotten into me not to use them... thanks again and happy hollidays to ya'll

[tea]

double protection! =D that's nice. I should do that in the future too.

[Amethyst]

double protection! =D that's nice. I should do that in the future too.

 

Two forms of contraception is the recommended way to go for safe sex. No form is fool-proof, but two forms together come pretty close.