Telling this guy how I feel...

[1xx0xx0xx1]

Hey, new hear and need some advice... Wasn't sure what forum this should go in, so hope I've got it vaguely right! It could conceivably go into dating seeing as that's what I'm hoping the result will be! Could also go into age gap relationships, seeing as there is an age gap involved, but the age gap isn't really the point of my post. And it could have gone into dating and shy people, seeing as me and the guy involved are both pretty shy!

 

Anyway... so, there's this guy I really like. But I only know him from playing music in the pub (there's an Irish Folk session every Sunday night that I've been going to for about 2 years - he was already going regularly when I started). So for like 2 years, I've seen him pretty much every Sunday night to play music, but never really outside of that context. Not much conversation occurs at these things, since the main focus is the music, and there are usually around 20 people there, so it's hard to get to talk to one guy much!

 

The last few months though, I've really started to like him, and I can't get him off my mind. He seems friendly towards me, but it's impossible to tell how he feels. Seeing as we have no premise for meeting outside of this Sunday night music thing, I can't see how I'm ever going to get to spend time with him / get to talk to him properly - it'd be so so awkward suggesting any kind of meeting away from this music session. I really want a way to let him know how I feel, without telling him directly. I'm generally just awful at this kind of stuff - I'm pretty shy and awkward! Any advice??

 

Last thing - I'm 20 and he's 31... he's never been married / had kids or anything though, and I'm a student and he's a junior research person of some sort, so we're both at similar places in life... the age gap doesn't bother me, but might he think it's too big?

 

Thanks!

[solamente]

It is not impossible to tell how he feels since he hasn't made any effort to get to know you better in 2 years. Whether it's because of your age or something else doesn't matter; he isn't interested. I think you will make things extremely awkward for yourself, and possibly him, if you assert yourself in this situation.

[1xx0xx0xx1]

I think that's kind of what I feared... but then tbh I never made any effort to get to know him better in the 2 years either!! Thanks for the advice though, I guess you're right

[agatha]

bleh.

 

bs with the 'not interested' diagnosis - he is unaware of you as a woman, that's for sure. possibly because you are younger and he probably stopped considering your age range a long time ago. either way, flirt, girl, flirt! that's how these things start!

[Iggy5129]

bleh.

 

bs with the 'not interested' diagnosis - he is unaware of you as a woman, that's for sure. possibly because you are younger and he probably stopped considering your age range a long time ago. either way, flirt, girl, flirt! that's how these things start!

 

 

Agreed. Don't write it off yet. I just started seeing a guy that is 15 years older than me. I also thought he would never like me and that we'd never get together but I still made conversation and flirted a bit. A few months later here we are trying to date. So flirt with the guy, talk to him, see what happens. Age doesn't matter, maturity is what matters and age is no guarantee of that.