Is this a big deal? & will it be OK in time?

[anotherperson]

Hi,

 

Right I've been going out with my first sexual partner for over 7 months and I'm her second (which I've only told her about recently). She took it well, and I had my reasons. She was young when she had sex for the first time, and there are times I feel she nearly regrets it because it was her last boyfriend before me, and he cheater on her in the end. I tell her not to regret her first time and all that, but now that she knows that she is my first, she wishes I could have been hers. I've had opportunties to have sex in the past with ex gf's, but it didn't feel right, and I wanted to wait for the right person. She in my eyes was/is definitely the right person and I truly love her.

 

When we had sex for the first time I wasn't the slightest bit nervous, because it was her. I made her cum (twice), but I didn't come. She had to make me cum via a handjob in the end. I came quite quickly then. I just could feel it. So now it's been 6 months since then, and I still haven't been able to cum during missionary, and only came twice with her on top. At first she thought it was her, and I reassured her it was not. I read online that the penis has to become accustomed to intercourse and that the friction isn't as strong as masturbation, and hence makes it difficult for the guy to feel anything. Now that my girlfriend knows that she is my first, she's a little relieved, but still says things like, "we've got a problem when we want to have kids, if we don't sort this out". I feel like she's blowing it out of proportion because she always cums during sex (both intercourse and oraly), and so do I, but rarely from intercourse. Last night we had sex and I came with her on top. I ejaculated very little and she inspected the condom. She asked me straight out was I after faking an orgasm and I told her I didnt. I had actually climaxed with her on top, but just produced little semen. Now she's worried that I'm not enjoying it, but seriously I am. The greatest turn on for me is making her cum, so once I've managed to do that, it's easier for me to cum. I'd love if I was able to cum during missionary (her fav position). The sensation is definitely stronger than the first time we tried. Most times I feel like I'm on the brink of cuming, but just cant. My head isn't concentrating any harder than if she was using her hand, so it's not that my mind is preventing me. I have reduced the amount I masturbate to about once or twice a week. Before we started going out, it was about once/twice a day. There are times when we have sex that I'm absolutely gagging for it, and I still can't seem to cum. But at the end of the day I'm enjoying sex, but I am worried that she is getting progressively more and more worried about "us" and our future if I can't just sort myself out in bed.

 

I'd love to hear if girls would be really bothered by this?, also I'd like to hear from guys on how I could do something to sort this out.

 

Thank you

[Jimbo10]

Maybe you shouldn't be telling us what you like doing with her, and whats up, tell her man!

 

Tell her your biggest turn on is her cuming first, and then you can too. As well, tell her you just don't cum a lot or somthing. A relationship that is ready to have sex, can talk about it.

 

Good luck, and keep your stick on the ice!

[dingoboy]

I had a similar problem, not being able to come during sex. In fact I was only able to come after several weeks of sex with my fourth partner.

The reason I wasn't able to achieve orgasm was, I reckon, because of my particular masturbation position, I always kneel on the ground, sort of crouching forward. Literally, every single time. So I couldn't come during sex because the position wasn't right.

Luckily, it was when I tried a new position with my girlfriend, which was me kneeling, her lying down, with her legs over mine, that I was able to come.

It was great when it first worked properly, and it felt pretty special because she was the first partner that I had really strong feelings for. Initially I could only come in this particular position, which wasn't great. Luckily my girlfriend came to like it and eventually it was her favourite position (try it, its really deep and you have a lot of control).

Nowadays I'm used comign during sex, and I can come in other positions like doggy-style and sometimes missionary.

 

Hopefully this will be of use? Good luck dude.

[titan]

dude its probably a mental thing, just stop thinking about it and relax and let it happen, i had the same problem i couldn't blow while receiving head (i know weird for a guy) But just relax forget and actually enjoy the moment and the buildup rather than trying to finish straight away.

[moe42]

now for a girl...i dont think it would bother me as much as i would feel bad if that makes any sense...you may like the way it feels but is she good it sound like your saying her hand is better

[tahlia]

have u tried not usisng a condom. If she goes on the pill and u are both safe from STI's then this may help. I've heard from a lot of guys thats its so much more sensitive without a condom.

[jessijess]

You only mentioned trying 2 positions so I'd say experiment some more! TWo postions that most guys I know seem to love (& have really deep penetration for girls) are doggie style & have your girl lye down on her back. You kneel in front of her & put her leg (or just one to start) on your shoulder. I dated a guy where that was the best way for him to getoff during sex.

Good luck!

[Mermaid]

have u tried not usisng a condom. If she goes on the pill and u are both safe from STI's then this may help. I've heard from a lot of guys thats its so much more sensitive without a condom.

 

I'm a few years older than my guy and am his first (and last!) sexual partner, and when we first became intimate, he couldn't come from intercourse; we assumed that it was a mixture of beginner nerves (for him), and the fact that it was new (and, thereforeeee, a different kind of stimulation than he was used to). And we were partially right.

 

But when, after a few more times, the nerves and the newness had worn off and he still couldn't come, we deduced that he was one of those guys who just couldn't orgasm while wearing a condom--no matter how he wanted to or how much he was enjoying it.

 

So, I spoke to my doctor who gave me the green light to rely solely on my birth control pill (which I'd been on for a couple of years, even before meeting him) and we began having sex without condoms. Immediately, things changed: the very first time we had sex without a condom, he came--and has never had a problem again.

 

Perhaps that's what's happening in your case?

 

By the way, I want to stress that my boyfriend and I are both adults in a serious, longterm and monogamous relationship, which is why we were able to make the mature decision to stop using condoms. I do not condone this for teenagers or anyone who is just casually dating, or who is in a new relationship.

[Desired1]

Your probably having a lot of problems because you are still a virgin. It may get better as you become more(...Ummm...whats the word???) Used to it. Don't stress. Try and talk to her about it.

[CityHunter]

It was so hard for me to cum with my GF in the beginning.

One problem with condom is you don't get the natural lube and your penis dries up and you can lose the erection.

Once you go condomless, you won't go back! And I cum so easily now.

I sometime slip the condom back on (when I'm getting close) in order to last longer.

 

Try to get her to put her legs together, she will become tighter and give you more stimulation.

 

Try doggie, if she put her legs together, it would be tighter as well.

 

With a condom I can easily last 1 hr+, w/o one I may cum withing 15 min.

Or think of non-sex thoughts when I'm getting close to take my mind off it, it would give you a few min or sometimes lose the whole erection together.