Advice re: online dating

[adequate]

I am trying the online dating thing after years of being alone. If any of you remember the situation with my meter guy a few weeks ago he never called but that's OK. I want to go on Match but funds are low so I am on a free dating site now. Actually my good friend is on match and she is having great luck finding decent guys. But I have been receiving interest from a lot of guys but they are not for me so I try to respond in a nice way to say thank you for your interest we are just not a match. I have been receiving nasty responses like "you think you are too good for me" or just give me a chance you never know". I always hear guys say that no one responds to their emails but would guys rather hear a response saying I am no interested or no response at all? The guys so far I have been interested in have either not responded or say they are not interested but I am not nasty to them. We are ALL rejected. Does not mean we are not a worthy person. It all comes down to if you love yourself. If you don't then the rejection hurts more because you don't like yourself and don't want to be alone with yourself. Hard lessons we all have to learn!

 

The thing I need the most advice on is my current situation. I had to give up my career a year ago and can no longer work or drive. It has been SO hard for me because I have such a strong work ethic and did everything I could to prevent this from happening but my physical condition got worse and I had to make a tough decision for my well being. This is what is going to make it hard I believe to find a decent man. Especially on dating website where you list your occupation and having to say you are not currently working and then having to explain my situation and than I can't drive anymore and also had to give up my car. I also can't walk too much as well. I think my situation might be impossible to meet a man who is willing to except my situation and if that is true then I am thinking I should just forget the whole online dating thing and maybe some day when I am out in the real world I can meet someone who sees me and gets to know me and maybe like me irregardless of my situation. I think it is easier to meet someone before things like this happens and after they fall in love with you they except your situation.

 

Thank you all for reading this and for your advice!

[Realitynut]

I'm so sorry for your plight! It's hard enough to meet a guy, much less when you have a disability! If I'm not interested in a guy, i just don't respond. I have heard that women on here have said if they have replied with a 'sorry, not interested', they receive a nasty response. Also, i have to admit, I would rather be ignored, then receive a 'you're not my type' email! lol

 

Just another 'real' rejection slap in the face!

 

If i don't hear from them....i can handle it better, than the actual WORDS. Hey, but i'm insecure anyway....!

 

Now onto your situation. I think it will be hard for you to find a guy, when you can't work, can't drive, and can barely walk. Men don't automatically go for personality, when they don't even know you!

 

The guys who did contact you, did they know you were disabled? And why didn't you give them a chance?

 

You definitely have to be upfront about everything, like you told us. They wouldn't be too happy if you never mentioned it, and only showed face shots, and then when they meet you in person....shock!

 

How do you get OUT and meet these guys since you aren't able to get around. Have you had any dates at all?

 

I'm able bodied, and i have given up on those damn dating sites. Joined meetup groups for my fun now. NOT to be used as dating sites, but just for getting to know people. I'm hanging out with a guy right now, friendship for me, but he likes me.....

 

There are meet up groups for all kinds of things. It's called link removed. Look it up and see if there is any in your area. Or you could start a meetup group for things you are interested in, and maybe a few guys will join!! It's a shot!

 

Good luck and keep us posted!

(I read very few of these posts, but i do remember you and your meter guy! was wishing he had an interest!)

 

BTW...how old are you?

[adequate]

I am 50 but have been told by countless men I look 30. I won't write back to the guys that have sent me an email. It's funny but the guys that have said they are interested are the ones the smoke (which I am allergic to) and more of the bad boy type and said I was sexy. I want the clean cut nice guy type believe it or not! I dress very nice and classy, wear makeup and have a very feminine, soft voice. I know about link removed and there is not too many groups in my area but the problem would be how would I get there anyway.