do i have a chance of getting her back?

[mysteryman]

See I was on icq one day and a girl added me from another school and i thought id talk to her well i went to a few football games to see her ( i had/have a broken leg) and it was cold to say the least well anyhow after meeting 2 times in person and calling we started dating on November 6th

 

I thought things were goin smoothly and then on friday (november 26th) she got back from being out of town for 2 days she called I mean she was saying how, see on the 2 dates i brought her 3 white roses (2 one time and 1 the other) and a crystal glass rose anyhow she was bragging how her family loved it and they thought i was a gentleman.. i thought it was going great.. then i call no saturday nothing.. and then sunday nothing, finally she calls me that night

im talking to her she was like ur not mad at me are you? i mean in the sweetest possible voice and i said no. anyhow she started saying all the times she lied to me and how our relationship was a lie and how she had seen her ex boyfriend at walmart who usetoo go to her school but doesnt anymore..

and i wasnt home monday but called her tuesday and i asked her about it i said do u like me? she goes i dont know i usetoo like u a lot i said do u wana still date she said i dunno and i said come on yes or no? she said i dont think things are working out.. anyhow i went to a play at her school and low and behold there she was lol.. walked by me didnt wave but i noticed she kept staring at me.. i was behind her lol?

so i dont know? i want her back and afriend of mine at my school knows her and shes gona try to help and i know 1 of her best friends # and im thinking about asking her to help me? i just dont know? but i do know i want her back lol.. so any advice will be appreciated

thanks

sincerly

Mysteryman

[mysteryman]

Also i was talking to her sis and i asked her if the girl ever talks about me anymore she said yes.. good things and i asked if she mentioned seeing me at the play and she said yes she was glad and then i asked if she was glad when we broke up? she goes she acted happy but you could tell she was sad.. so i dunno

thanks

Mysteryman

[Switch187]

Well one quick question for you. Why do you want her back if she said the whole relationship was a lie, and that she was lying to you the whole time?

 

To me that's a big red flag about trust and commitment. From the first day she met you, she was lying, and now that she told you, how do you think you can keep trusting her in the future? Your probably going to start having some paranoia in the future if you get back together, wondering if she's out seeing someone else or feeling like she's going to dump you again. You may say you won't, but chances are you will (the human brain is very simple when it comes to things like this, and at your age it is also easier to get trapt into these feelings).

 

Don't get other people involved either, it's not worth it and it makes things harder. You can't make her change her feelings for you, and all the friends in the world couldn't force her to change her mind. It's a choice she's going to have to make herself, and no outside forces will make her change her mind. If you want her back, then let her go. If she wants you back then she will come around. Other than that there's nothing you can do except move on and just live your life. Don't sit around waiting for her to make a decision, just keep moving forward and let her try to catch up if she really wants to be with you again.

[mysteryman]

i know this sounds silly but she is well i thought id be ok but i saw her again and i dunno.. and she is very beautiful and a nice girl.. i just want her back.. i cant help it lol if some1 is always in ur head maybe their meant to be there?

[Switch187]

No, it's just part of the fantasy our subconscious makes for us. I use to have Carmen Electra in my head for like a year (really like everyday and night) when I was 19, does that mean she's meant to be there? No, it's just my head living out some fantasy of being with some hot chick (who I thought was hot at the moment) and what things would be like. Okay so your saying she's beautiful and nice huh, well there's about 100 girls in the city you live in that have those same qualities. How about after the break up, how was she then. From your post she became cold and distant. Does that still sound like the "nice" caring girl you think about? Of course you want her back, everyone always want's their ex back. The thing is, you need to look at this relationship from "outside" the relationship, it that makes any sense. Look back at it as if you weren't the guy she was dating, but you saw everything that happened in the relationship. Does sneaking around behind a guys back to see an ex, ignoring calls, and admitting to being a liar sound like a healthy relationship? If you knew the guy, would you tell him things just arn't right? That's whats going on in your relationship.

 

Right now your stuck in the confusion bubble of not knowing what to do, but wanting to do something. Problem is, there's nothing you can do. You can send her a million roses, write her a song, and take her to the nicest resteraunt in town. It still won't change her mind and make her fall in love with you or take you back. You can't make someone fall in love with you or take you back. Only that person can make that decision, and right now she's made hers. She doesn't want a relationship with you and you need to respect that and just move ahead.

[mysteryman]

yah a lot of that made sense except she didnt see him behind my back see she was shopping and they ran into each other.. but i dont know? i mean i would say a word or two but as we all now know its against the rules lol.. anyhow i mean i really cant get her off my mind and carmen is hot lol but i mean theres a one in a few billion odds you or me will get her but this is a lil more of a safer bet.. but i do appreciate ur help

thanks

Mysteryman

[Switch187]

I was just giving you a vague example with Carmen. I've been where your at as well, I thought that my g/f in Junior High was my "true love". She was everything and anything I thought I wanted at the time. And when we broke up I was all distrest and confused like you. I couldn't stop thinking about her and kept saying that she was the "world" to me, and how could I not be with her. Then I moved on, went in and out of a few more bad and good relationships (it's all part of learning) and now I'm with a girl that I think is the "universe" to me. I totally forgot about the girl who was my "world" because this girls means so much more, and know that I know what I want and found it, I know this is what things are really supposed to be like. Of course there's ups and downs, but that's part of life. You'll make it out of this stronger and smarter than before, and able to see things a bit more clearly for when your getting into another relationship, whether with her again or with a new girl.

[mysteryman]

Yah well i was talking to her on aim she was having a semi-party know what i mean? lol anyhow instead of dancing a lot she was talking to me and i told her what do i need to know and she couldnt think of anything and i just told her how i didnt understand how friday i was a gent and a nice guy and u love talking to me sunday its all the lies and tuesday you dump me.. and she said omg. and said look ill talk to you tomorrow.. and i told her how for the last 3 days uve constantly been on my mind only i dont know if she saw that lol.. And i had my friend ask if shed ever date me again? and she said maybe? but that was before i talked to her.

Anyhow thanks again

Mysteryman