Ever Elusive but Why?

[Motley_Crue]

Hello,

 

I need some advice please. This girl has managed to puzzle me for years. I met her at university and we studied together very often. I wanted it to go somewhere but I never really said. Then she left college and stopped returning my emails. I moved on but out of the blue she emailed me a long friendly email. So we meet up and it went well she even hugged me and said she would email next week. Now 2 weeks went by and she does not email, this is very much like her to do this. Why is she doing that? Where is her mind at? I did not tell her to email me, she said she would so she should I think. Why is this such a pattern with her? Is she just self observed? Should I email her that I am disappointed that she did not email. Should I say that I want to be more with her?

[ticklebug]

something made her think of you and she popped off an e-mail - it was to her more just a friendly reconnection then a desire for anything more. More than likely you weren't the only one from college she reconnected with around the same time. After returning home from meeting up with you she got re-caught up in her life...just as she did when she left college.

 

I wouldn't necessarily say she was self absorbed, inconsiderate...yes...but since she never knew you wanted more from your relationship than the friendship you had in college...I'm sure she assumed you felt the reconnection as casual as she did.

 

Just get on with your life...e--mailing her how disappointed you were isn't going to do much of anything...take it for what it was...a casual friend breezing through and saying hello...then breezing back out.

 

Concentrate on the friends you have now.

[Motley_Crue]

Thanks for your post. It is a reasonable one. Do yo think that if I emailed her telling her that I want to be perhaps more it may change anything?

[ticklebug]

highly doubtful...if she had the same feeling as you...she would have done what she said she was going to...kept in touch...

 

Keep in mind motley...she is obviously not the same person you knew in college. She cared about your feelings then and was a real friend...I highly doubt she is someone you'd actually really want now anyway.

 

You are basing how you feel on who she used to be, and your memories...things have changed.

[Motley_Crue]

Acctually she was kinda like that then too. Well that is too bad, I am all alone yet again. Thanks for the advices.

[ticklebug]

mot, hun, if you never were together with this girl, you can't be "alone again"

 

 

[Motley_Crue]

That is true lol I just meant that she was a potentially good partner for me. I just ended another relationship because that girl could not fully appreciate me. I am 25 and I want a serious relationship. I guess it is not to be so far. All the girls I date end up being stupid.

[ticklebug]

well, hate to say it, but this girl who breezed in and breezed out was probably going to end up in the "stupid" category too.

 

suggestion -

 

when dating, or looking for potential dates, there are always certain things about someone of the oppposite sex that attracts you...now if all of the girls you date so far end up to be bad choices....you have to sit down andfigure out what they had in common....especially right when you first met each of them.

 

By avoiding that trait (or traits) there is a good chance you will actually FIND someone you are better compatible with.

[Motley_Crue]

Good point but tough to say. Most have ben late teens or early 20s and perhaps were not ready for a mature relationship. Maybe now that I am finished with university my luck will change. I don't know. I think I am a friendly understanding person with some good things to offer. I hope someone will appreciate that besides friends and family and other uneligable for dating people.

[ticklebug]

age and maturity has a lot to do with it - that is for sure.

 

The right one will come along...you are't even a 1/4 of the way through your life yet...there is a lot of time left to find ms. right.

[Motley_Crue]

I hope so. Life is unpredictable

 

You've been very helpful, could I perhaps give you an advice on something?

[ticklebug]

thanks for the offer hun, but actually...I more came to these boards to help out...I've got a pretty darned good life going for me at the moment.