SO confused! PLease helpp!

[osirus]

Okay here's the story..

 

So i met this girl (lives in florida) online through a friend and we instantly hit it off..it was great, we laughed, made fun of each other and it was just soo rightt..a couple of days later we started talkin on the phone, and after a couple of calls it become a daily event...almost everynight...so now we've been talkin for about a month and shes about to come up to ny from Fl for something, and we're gunna chill...

 

We chill on friday nite and it was good, a bunch of her friends came along and i brought a friend so it wouldnt be awkward..and on sat we chilied, and we met up at a club..at the club my friend said to her 'i heard alot about u', that ticked her off because she was like - i dont know what he;s tellin everyone, i dont want to tell him stuff if he's goin to be tellin all his friend'...thats wat she told her friend...okay so on that tuesday when she got back to florida she said that she just wanted to be friends with me, and wasnt ready for a relationship..she openly admitted that she liked me before we met, but my friends turned her off..i was okay with that ( i didnt have much of a choice)...after she todl me that, she askd me to call her that nite, but i didnt...and then i clald her that friday, we spoke..and i didnt call her for awehil, and i caldl her that sunday, then i calld her like 2wice that week...

 

and on sunday, she said that she was scared..and i askd her of what, she said she was scared she was gettin attached to me..and she didnt want that cuz that wud end up in her likin me, and she didnt wanna be hurt again, she had a bad experience with a long distance relationship...and i assured her not to worry, and im not the type of guy to her..she knows im not liek that, but shes still hesititate and scared...i calld her the next day and we spoke (that was a week ago), and it was good...we really like talkin to each other, and all we do is laugh on the phone and make fun of each other..its really cute, i liek her alot..and im willin to make this work and give it my all...i dont know if she likes me or how she feels bout me...i think shes holdin herself back becuz she doesnt want to get hurt..

 

i havent spoken to her on the phone since...i want to call her, but the more i talk to her, the more i find myself fallin for her, its been a week since ive spoken to her ont hephone and it feels like forever..

 

i dont know what to do, i cant stop thinkin bout her and i really like her...please please please please please please plase advice me wat to do...

 

thankss u

[ticklebug]

get out a map....

 

actually LOOK how far it is from Florida to New York.

 

Internet chat is a cool communication tool, but it really warps perception. Relationships are built on more than just conversation.

 

You CAN NOT (I repeat CAN NOT) build a relationship with someone from that far of a distance...even people that started dating when they lived close, if one person has to move away...it's a struggle to keep the romance alive.

 

She is not interested in pursuing anything with you, and that is probably in the long run a HUGE favor to you. If you still want to use the internet as a dating tool, then choose to chat with people who are in your area to help get your mind off of her.

[Double J]

She is not interested in pursuing anything with you, and that is probably in the long run a HUGE favor to you. If you still want to use the internet as a dating tool, then choose to chat with people who are in your area to help get your mind off of her.

 

Good advice right there. It's been my experience that if a girl tells you she doesn't want anything serious because she's been hurt, she's scared, she's not ready, or some other excuse, it means she's not interested but she doesn't want to tell you directly to avoid hurting your feelings. Maybe that story about you telling friends about her is something she contrived beforehand to be able to justify her motives.

 

And it's true - you both live very far apart from each other. Even if this was to turn into something more substantive, the distance issue still lingers. I would not invest any more time in this, but just talk to her as a friend and not expect anything more.

[osirus]

i understand and i agree with what you guys are saying....but what does it mean when a girl says shes scared because shes getting attached to me..doesnt that mean somthing?

 

I spoke to her on the phone last nite and we discussed long distance relationships - although we never really mentioned it was about us,it was sort of implied and understood that we were talkin bout each other...

 

we discussed the difficultied of l-d realtionshpis and her experience in the past with and we pretty much came to the conclusion that its nearly impossible and prob wont work.. and i kno this sounds crazy and absurd but i really truly believe that I can make it happen..

 

i think i was reluctant to mention that I am goin to study abroad at oxford (england) from jan-march and that, that may have an affect on how things happen...I kno im being stupid, and people have been tellin me to get over her and move on..but my heart tells me not to give up and that it'll come up...and i think if i show her that ill be there for her and how distance will merely be a obstacle that the both of us can hurdle over together, she'll understand...butt then my rational self tells me to wake up and forget...

[ticklebug]

but what does it mean when a girl says shes scared because shes getting attached to me..doesnt that mean somthing?

 

it means she isn't ready for a relationshop...long distance or otherwise.