Dating or married to a pilot?

[scuba4fish]

Is anyone here involved in a relationship with a pilot? Having any issues with it?

[marijo2480]

Why the question? Are you dating/married to one? Are you having problems in the relationship and wonder if others are experiencing the same thing?

 

A friend of mine from school is married to one and they are always apart and fighting. She doesn't make him choose as his career brings all the bacon...

 

Marie

[winkybear]

This is not what was asked, but my dad's a pilot. My dad would be away for weeks sometimes, and back only for a few days. Even on his off days he might be called back to work. I guess there's a lot of trust between the two of my parents. There were ups and downs between the two, but everything's ok now... though they seldom get to see each other.

[scuba4fish]

Yes I am dating one. It's hard to explain the feeling....not knowing where he is or who he's with. I'm just wondering if anyone else has similar feelings.

 

By the way, he doesn't make much money!!

 

How do you gain that trust that is obviously needed to be in a relationship like this?

[psipro]

Time... I'm not dating a pilot but i'm in a LDR with 4k miles between us.

[marijo2480]

Only you can answer that. Why do you not trust him? Has he ever given you a reason to feel this way? I know that my friend's husband goes to bars alot with other pilots. They do that wherever they end up staying. Keep in mind that just because others are having issues, doesn't mean that you will have those same issues as well. It's good to be aware, but don't let your mind play tricks on you. Before you know it, you'll be imagining things that could potentially ruin your relationship.

 

Curiosity- What's the age gap between you two?

 

Marie

[scuba4fish]

He's 30, so about six and a half years. Okay so you've hit a very valid point. He hasn't exactly given me a reason. He did this weird thing for about six months or so where he was talking to this female pilot quite a lot, and hanging out with her when they would fly together. He even went so far as to draw me the layout of her apartment when we were looking to move to the same town as her. He swears to this day that nothing ever happened, but I have a bad feeling about it. Again, your valid point about my mind playing tricks could be the cause as I have no actual evidence.

 

The first time I met this girl she said hi, gave me a dirty look, and peeled away in her car. The second time she gave me an attitude until I started being nice to her, then she was all peachy. The other thing is that her best friend was having an affair with my girlfriend's husband (also a pilot). Long story short, I told my friend after witnessing it, and after about a year now they are doing just fine. This entire thing traumatized me and while I have no concerns about anyone in particular now, I can't get over this. Oh, my boyfriend finally agreed to stop talking to this other female pilot that I was concerned about, and finally now (about a year later), realizes it was weird.

 

Thanks so much for replying to me. I appreciate your advice. I haven't had anyone to talk to about this!

[winkybear]

stop talking to her? that rids of the insecurity... but what happens if another female pilot comes along... More insecurities?

[drahcir]

Yes there are some serious issues to consider. Many pilots, esp. on major airlines, are gone for days at a time. They cross so many time zones and get such sporatic sleep that when they return they are exhausted and wouldn't know what time of day it is. ITs a very difficult and stressful job. It really is difficult to maintain a relationship with a pilot. But not impossible.

[rosewolf]

Is anyone here involved in a relationship with a pilot? Having any issues with it?

 

yes i date a pilot and believe me its as hard as any. what do you think?

[Donster]

Even though the pilot may be away for days or weeks on end, there should still be opportunities for a quick phone call or email or even a text at least every 1.5 days. Contact like that is important to maintain intimacy and contact. If they are gone for days on end with absolutely no contact, then it is potentially a cause for concern. But the best thing is to have a talk about it, if you need more assurance and contact from him, let him know. Otherwise, your anxiety levels will go up and that can be damaging to your relationship.

 

Also, don't let the experience of others influence your experience. Not all pilots are the same, and not all relationships with pilots are the same. Judge each one by their own merits.

[Medguy8311]

Well, if I can give you some insight, I am a pilot and have been in the aviation industry for quite a few years now. The first thing I have to say here, is try not to stereotype! Undeniably, there are certain jobs and careers that require the significant other to compromise and trust more than others, and aviation is definitely one of them.

 

Aviation, especially the operational/onboard part of it, is often a lifestyle more than a job. That means that certain people become attracted to it for the wrong reasons, the supposed glamour of it all (yeah, right!) and travel etc etc. occasionally relationships are formed (albeit odd ones) that can come back to bite you in the ass if you have a home life as well.

 

To be honest, I think that the above is the exception rather than the rule, and most pilots who are married / in serious relationships are likely to be MORE loyal to their SO's sat at home, and make MORE effort than a lot of other people in other employment sectors. The problem is there are too many people who watch stuff like "Catch me if you can" with old Leo D'C and then get this twisted image of what is not, in fact, reality.

 

That said, there has to be TRUST and it has to be 100%. Likewise for coping with distance and making quality time for each other when at home. As for the pilot mentioned by the OP with his female pilot colleague, I see litttle problem with that - the very fact that he talks about her as he would about other colleagues means that he sees her as no more than a co-worker / friend and chooses to fly with her as he would one of his male co-worker/friend counterparts.

 

My SO tells me frequently how she has met pilots previously and couldn't trust them. Doesn't this apply to other professions too, if not more so?? Its just because we're pilots, are supposed to have attention lavished upon us by beautiful flight attendants at 35,000 feet on a daily basis (which believe me is NOT the case!!!!!) and hedonistic lay overs on palm fringed beaches, that people think we are guaranteed to be a bad bet (we're not!)

[DN]

Pilot'sWife - I moved your post to its own thread.

[YeahOkWhateverIguess]

I am in a serious relationship with a pilot. It goes up and down. I really can't explain it to be honest with you. At first it started with a schedule of 4 days on, 4 days off. Soon, he got addicted to the OT and the allure of a pilot's life.. the perks, i guess. Just like the above pilot mentioned, i know its not all glamour, but trust me, he loves it.

 

Today he informs me that he's working another day of OT, this being the 12th 16 hour day in a row.. and it's our anniversary. "they need me, they are desperate."

 

yeah, it hurt.

 

Eventually, he's going to physically crash. And while i told him he looks like hell, I still didnt get much out of him. .. I watched the ball drop in my dreams, because he was too tired to stay up past 930 pm.

 

If you are dating a pilot, buyer beware,... you must be a very independent woman. You must be the type to not need much companionship, who has many hobbies, and can occupy your own time. At times, I feel like I'm dating myself, like Im single again, ...

 

However, he's never given me reasons to mistrust him. That's the important thing. He rarely checks in by phone or text, .. and yes, if you're wondering, Im on my way out.

 

My sympathy is with you girl, ... trust me.

 

Cops date nurses

Pilots date Pilots, or nurses, or anyone else with nutty lives

 

I knew I could never date a fire fighter, cop, doctor, etc... PILOT.. for these reasons.

 

This part of his life came to fruition after we had been together. He's a different person. Which means he will be soon be dating a different person.. not me.

 

good luck.

 

cheers

[Zuzu2]

I used to date one. He was sleeping with a whole bunch of women. I also had a gay friend who was dating a married pilot. Not to scare you, but a lot of them cheat. Doesn't mean they all do though.

[Momene]

I'm not a pilot but travel a lot on business. I've never cheated while at home or away. I sometimes socialise with female colleagues if we're on business together but NEVER go to each others' rooms and always meet in bars, restaurants, etc. I do get lonely and bofred while away but take telescopes away with me so I can follow my hobby of astronomy.

 

I talk a lot on the 'phone to my wife and daughter.

[YeahOkWhateverIguess]

Just as I posted that a few days ago you guys, ... we broke up on the 2nd. Well, i guess more of a "break".

 

Ive been going CRAZY for the past 4 days now because he is the type that needs to "get his thoughts together before discussing..." i get an occasional text asking me how i am.. and its insane. he's slowly torturing me.

 

Its crazier that JUST week he surprised me with lilys???? * * * !! So i demanded he talk to me, tonight after work.. to not lead it on anymore..to just get to the frign point already. Im dying.

[J1nx3d]

Hi...

Im dating a pilot, and have been for a year now. I think Im one of the lucky few that gets him home every night, however I do spend a lot of time on my own. I was a veterinarian in Australia and had to give up my life, friends and family to move to Madrid for his work. i have been working as a crappy nanny now just managed to get a good paying job and he informs me that we are moving to the UK as he wants tobecome an instructer. Aaaah moving AGAIN!!!! ah well.

 

For those of you ladies that think they get to hang out with sexy cabin crew all day your horribly mistaken... I have seen a regular day of work for and these poor guys get to be locked in a cabin about the size of a shoe box stuck talking to co-pilot etc most the time they fall asleep or read. You have to understand this industry is hard they dont get to live a normal life and meet new people. Sure some cheat but thats normal i seen more scandals working in an animal hospital than I have heard from airline work. These days airhostesses are more interested in the engineers any way and half of cabin crew are men. I made a good female friend who is a pilot now imagine how hard it is for her to have a man thats willing to wait around, and understand her lifestyle. Let alone have friends at work as most men pilots think its a mans world so...

 

I love my pilot very much and we do fight like cat and dog but thats love. Jealousy, mis-trust, worry is all part of the game. What do you think he worries about leaving you home alone to do what ever you want? Im having a lot of trouble playing housewife in a country where i dont speak the language, and I want to leave and go back to my normal life all the time but now i got all the time in the world to do what I like... who knows mayb one day we will stay in a place long enough for me to get a proper vet job again.

 

My advise: start painting, cooking, volunteering, get invloved with kids school things, keep busy. Kill the man with kindness make yourself his everythought put something naughty in his flight bag like a sexy note or picture of yourself etc these men have A LOT OF TIME TO THINK. When he comes home tired and zombie like rub his neck let him sleep he will come around eventually. Remind him why he's with you. Do these things if you love the man... but ladies dont be dumb there are definatly ASSHOLES out there that are controlled by their middle man but you know the man u love. Oh and not to forget the devious women out-there we can be worse than snakes.

[Scout1254]

I was dating a pilot for 2 months and it was awful!!! He was very critical, inpatient and nasty. Is this norm for their personalities??? Anyone else???

[lisus]

Yes..I am married to a pilot! Got married in Sept. 09 he left me IN Feb ...sent me flowers on V 'day and said he couldnt do this anymore...just destroyed me!! It has been nothing but lies every day.

[lisus]

Yes..I am married to a pilot! Got married in Sept. 09 he left me In Feb ...sent me flowers on V 'day and said he couldnt do this anymore...just destroyed me!! It has been nothing but lies every day. The one I'm with I think has some one in every state...I'm just lost!

[lisus]

I think I there is to much variety out there,you know they are around beauty every where they land...even in the cockpit ! I hope their not all bad...I like to think that some pilots do have morals.

[Juxtapoz]

Wow, interesting this thread was bumped. I had actually searched for it on a search engine (dating a pilot) and that's how i found ENA.

 

I dated one briefly at the beginning of the year. Man they're tricky. This guy was a BIG flirt, easy on the eyes, and of course I was intrigued since travel is such an important aspect of my life. We went on a date and had a great time. He then invited me to visit him in his city, and I had already plans to see his city with my mom since it's close to mine. I let him know the days I'd be there, then at my hotel he sent me messages asking if we could meet. Of course, I said. Then he said, OK I'm on my way! I got dressed, eager to see him, and he never showed up. I was so disappointed. The next day I thought, Screw him, then I got texts from him apologizing, that he had fallen asleep. Whatever, I thought. I let him know where I was and if he wanted to meet, he knew where I'd be but I wasn't going to chase him this time. Sure enough, got stood up again, only to receive a message at like 3 or 4 am saying, OH! I wrecked my car on my way to see you!! Blah blah blah. I told him he was a great comedian.

 

We still talk from time to time on FB but I don't take anything he says to heart.

[Juxtapoz]

Also, I'd like to mention that this guy was a MAJOR mama's boy. The whole time during our date, she must have called him six or seven times.

[uptowngirl]

Even though the pilot may be away for days or weeks on end, there should still be opportunities for a quick phone call or email or even a text at least every 1.5 days. Contact like that is important to maintain intimacy and contact. If they are gone for days on end with absolutely no contact, then it is potentially a cause for concern. But the best thing is to have a talk about it, if you need more assurance and contact from him, let him know. Otherwise, your anxiety levels will go up and that can be damaging to your relationship.

 

Also, don't let the experience of others influence your experience. Not all pilots are the same, and not all relationships with pilots are the same. Judge each one by their own merits.

 

 

I am also dating a pilot... have been for quite some time, and ran accross this forum. Sure, I'm a woman I have my "mental rabbit trails" as i like to call them where you're convinced your boy is either * * * * ing some random or is lying in a ditch dead with no cell reception... but the TRUTH is what this guy wrote... read the signs ladies. Every female is allowed temporary insanity just because we have a vag but that doesn't mean your man is a bad one... dont lose something good because you're too scared to accept it. Step out of the emotional web and just look at the facts. does he call you? Does he treat you right?