He left me for his ex

[Tina smith]

Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 months. But out of the blue he broke up with me for his ex. To start off, the past 7 months were the best months of my life. We were so in love. He told me daily that he loved me more than life itself. We had plans of getting married and even looked at houses together. Hed call me everyday at lunch and everyday when he got home from work, and would always want me around. Even if it was with his friends too. Our relationship was amazing. We never fought and had nothing but respect for one another. I thought I found the man of my dreams.

Until 3 weeks ago. His roomate is dating his ex's friend. So one day her and I were sitting there waiting for them to come home and I asked a few questions about his ex. Why they broke up and what she looked like. Just out of curiosity, because she had just said how wonderful he and I were together, and she couldnt imagine us not together. And then a week later I ran right into his ex at the bar. For the next 2 weeks my boyfriend and I were wonderful as usual, even up until 2 days before he broke up with me.

 

One night he called me and was being strange. I asked what was up and he said hes not sure about "us". He never really gave me an explination, just said he was messed up and needed to be alone. The next night I ran into a girl I know and she told me she was dating my boyfriends ex's old boyfriend. So it turns out she had been single for 2 weeks. I knew instantly that that was the reason for the break up.

 

The next few days were full of confussion and unanswered questions. He finally admitted to it being his ex, saying he has never got over his feelings for her. She had called him 2 days earlier and I guess told him she still felt something for him. She knew we were together. She even asked people who I was.The bottom line is he has to figure out these feelings for her and whether it be talk to her or try it out agian, he says its not fair to me. Which I agree. Im so confused about the whole situation. They dated for 3 years and he broke up with her, but tryed to get her back six weeks later, but she just didnt love him anymore. She even dated somone for over a year since. They havent been together for 2.5 years.

Why do men do these things? How am I suppose to get over this? I dont understand how this could have happened. He even says we were amazing together and Im perfect. Has anyone been through this? Please let me know how to deal with this. I cant help but feel hes going to regret this and come back to me. What do I do? Help!!!

[tiger_lilies]

This is NOT your fault. Your guy has been unfair to you and in a sense, he's lied to you. Unfortunately you cannot control how another person feels. It sounds like he has a lot of unresolved feelings for his ex. He should take the time time to understand those feelings. But that leaves you without your man.

 

It's easy to say "move on", but is so hard to do. But you have to. It's okay for you to hurt for a while, but don't be his doormat.

[Wimpy]

Hey listen this really isn't your fault and I think that whatever anyone tells you it's going to hurt like HELL. All you can do is take one day at a time and not make too many demands on yourself. I'm going through a rough time with the guy I love at the moment but not for the same reasons as you.

 

What I've realised over the past weeks is that others can listen but they can't actually DO anything. You must do what you feel is right.

 

Sometimes I've done what someone recommended to me ages ago. Imagine this was happening to a good friend of yours...talk through what you'd say to her (out loud) and then stand back and try and apply it to yourself.

 

It's going to be hard and the last thing I'm going to tell you is "move on".."you're better off without him" or anything like that - it might work out. Just make sure that whatever happens you look after yourself and don't accept the blame. None of us CHOOSE what happens to us - we can only choose how we REACT.

[iceesnowbubble]

this happened to me before and I know how much it hurts. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. But don't sit around and wait for him to make up his mind. I did that. he came around, but it was the worst 3 months of my life. I wouldn't suggest it. Move on. i know it was a good 7 months, but the feelings arent gonna go away for that girl even if he does come back... trust me on this one.