I cant seem to orgasm

[sarah46]

hi, my name is sarah, I cant get myself to orgasm, well I'm not sure if its an orgasm, but it doesnt last long at all. my boyfriend tries multiple things to try to get me to orgasm but I just cant. PLease Help me!.

[XrucuX]

Sex Toys can be expensive but they can reward you in the long run or buy books with different positions illustrated.

[Leges39]

You may not be relaxing. Do you have any fantasy that you would like to experience? Ask your boyfriend to help you.

[sarah46]

I've always wanted to give my boyfriend pleasure. thats what really matters to me, but I'm really too shy to give him head sometimes. and to give him hand jobs, it sux! and it sux that I cant even orgasm, and he tries things to make me, but I just cant

[psipro]

You said "but it doesnt last long at all"

 

The orgasm itself typically dosn't last long. The best description I have heard is "Tension Tension relief" you can feel it build up in you and then quickly it is gone, but it feels good. I really cant give details about your orgasm becasue well i'm a man, mabey a woman can help you out a bit more.

 

You talked about giving your boyfriend head, that really wont give you an orgasm unless he is returning the favor.

 

One thing that can help is masturbation, if you can get yourself to an orgasm you know what you like and what you want, get your boyfriend to imitate that.

[69_king]

I really cant give details about your orgasm becasue well i'm a man, mabey a woman can help you out a bit more.

 

apparently its been scientifically proven that, on average, the female orgasm is about 10 times stronger than the males.

[psipro]

Lucky them. But they also go longer without them somtimes, but then they can have multiple.... but another topic another thread.

[sarah46]

well I know I cant get one from giving my boyfriend head. but like I've never had multiple orgasms. and he told me thtat his ex had multiple orgasms every 3 minutes and that made me feel dumb.. I duno what to do really. I dont feel like I'm really satisfying him from me not orgasming but yet of course he gets off, he should alteast appreciate that. I duno I just dont feel like I'm doing enough to satisfy him

[psipro]

Hmmmm interesting.

 

I don't want to tell you that he is lying because frankly I'm not in a position to say that, but men have a tendency to overate themselves. Every 3 minutes is very very good, but it typically takes women 10min give or take to window and get ready for another orgasm... it can take men up to and over an hour.

 

To the best of my knowledge most women don't have multiple orgasms because most men cant keep going that long strait, its possible to just slow down and wait but hey.. why?

 

This is starting to border of my level of knowledge so a woman may want to take this thread from me but until then I'll help with what I can.

 

I find it interesting that you orgasm when you give your BF head but when he is trying to give you one you cant seem to (correct me if I have your situation wrong please). What do you feel when you do get an orgasm, what feels good about whatever it happens to be doing?

[RayKay]

To the best of my knowledge most women don't have multiple orgasms because most men cant keep going that long strait, its possible to just slow down and wait but hey.. why?

 

 

I have multiples...and am VERY orgasmic, but I can tell you this...as guys get older, they are more willing to "slow down" and let women have multiples because most guys I have dated get VERY turned on by watching/hearing/feeling a woman cum. I was not always multi-orgasmic, but the right partner, the right relationship, good communication...and wow. It is very rare now that I don't orgasm at all...And delaying can make it even more powerful for the male as well. You can tease, use massage, talk, tickle, all to slow things down. Sex is not just an act, it's an experience...so make it so. It is not unusual for me and my guy to spend three, four, five hours playing and pleasuring, delaying and building...of course quickies have their time and place too...but having time to explore and share is invaluable!

 

As to the original poster...you are young and it is not uncommon to have problems orgasming when you are. The Catch 22 is the more you worry about it, the less likely you are to get there! Learn to make yourself orgasm with masturbation, and once you are more into it and less afraid of it happening, it is more likely to happen. The more comfortable you are with your body and sex, the more likely you are. So be patient, take your time. Build up to the point...and if you think about it too much it won't happen, and if you have other stresses in your life it might not either. Oh, and while girls get really wet, use LOTS of lube anyway..because it makes things smoother, feel better and you won't get tired/raw. Natural lubrication does not last as long, no matter how turned on you are!

 

So relaz, experiment and give it time

[sarah46]

no I dont get an orgasm by giving him head. I was saying I dont get an orgasm at all and when I feel like I do it only last less than 5 seconds.. I dont even know if thats a damn orgasm lol I feel like I'm the only girl that doesnt know how to orgasm. and it sux! sometimes my boyfriend rubs me really good and my body just doesnt want to sit still lol

[psipro]

Your not the only one

 

How long do you expect it to last? speaking from personal experience I havn't had an orgasm that lasted very long, mabey i'm an oddball though.

 

What did you mean "doesnt want to sit still" ? I can immagine if it feels good your not going to be sitting still

[KimmieNO]

It might help to compare notes with a girlfriend. A poster had a really good idea about masturbating and communicate that to your man.

 

Do you have contractions? Do you get really wet? I always feel this great tingling warmth in my belly and a feeling of peace settle over me.

[diverp]

I am dating (soon to be living with) a girlfriend who is 34 (I am 33). She has been married before and has had sex with different people when she was younger. Well, when we started having sex, she would have 2 or 3 orgasms in one evening. I always make sure that I concentrate and make sure that she is satisfied. THe odd thing is that at her age, she tells me she has never had a regular sex-related orgasm in her life. She has had them with assistance, but never from straight sex.

 

I find that, from a guy's perspective, foreplay is everythng. Some slow kissing, anything to get her at ease and allow her to enjoy making love as much as possible. When we make love, we won't actually "penetrate" for about 20 to 40 minutes. I find that it is all about the guy being more thoughtful of the woman needing more time and to be more relaxed most of the time. It isn't easy for a guy to wait that long, but it can be done. Most of all though is to produce the right mood and setting for it.

 

Just my two cents, hope it helps a little.

[marijo2480]

I really can't add much other than what others are saying...try masturbating or have his fingers down there and you guide him. Do it in a nice, freaky sort of way.

 

Multiple orgasms? This is probably another thread but how does that work? Is it the same to have one, he keeps licking you or fingering you and you have another, and another, and another? Or is it that you have one through the clitoris and then the vagina at the SAME time? If so, I'm jealous. I've never had one of those. I didn't even know they existed...I learn something new every day reading these threads!!

 

Marie

[psipro]

I guess its possible to have both types, but gennerally i believe it referrs to multiple from the same stimulation.

 

Men have a cool down time of an hour give or take... women on the other hand can be ready to go in as little as 10 minutes. This contributes ot it partly but i can only describe a male's multiple orgasm, its really really hard to do and in my humble opinion not worth it