Girls advice PLZ! Whats with my GF?

[amouthindebt]

I have been going going out with this girl now for about a month. We are the same age and go to different schools.

 

At first i thought it was a problem which would go away but it seems to persist and i dont know whats going on.

 

This may sound kinda pathetic but shes really quiet. I struggle so hard just keeping a conversation alive!

I would really like to get to know her better but she wont open up. i asked her once and she got abit angry and told me its because the things she thinks about are so deep and meaningfull she cant put them into words?

Our conversations only ever contain small talk, and its killing me!

 

Well that dosent help me out really

 

The biggest problem i face is deciding wether or not to let her go or wether i should give her abit more time to warm up.

 

also i cant say im dumping you because your too quiet, id never hear the end of it... well infact i probably would

 

Do i keep on trying?

advice is EXTREMELY welcome

[quidproquo]

amouthindebt ~

 

Hi! Try suggesting to her to write you a letter. Or write one and let her respond. Her mind might be blank when you two are together but there has to be some moments when she's away from you that she finds topics to talk about. State that you're wanting to make this work and for her to at least try to put the "things she thinks about [that] are so deep and meaningfull" into words on paper.

 

Don't give up so easily - being quiet is her nature and she'd probably appreciate some patience from you. What else have you tried doing besides pressuring her to talk? I'm sure that if she's willing to make this relationship work, she'll reciprocate with some effort. If she doesn't...ask yourself if she's worth it.

 

Did you get a chance to know her quite a bit before you two decided to go out?

 

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[amouthindebt]

wow thats a really good idea! especially the letter idea.

i think the problem is i didnt get to know her enough know and then theres just all these thoughts lingering.

 

i know i havent pressured her at all i only asked once.

 

maybe i need to take a look at myself first and the way i percieve it?

 

do i actually bring my problem to her and tell whats bothering me and then suggest the letter thing?

[JociePoo]

Maybe you should give her a bit more time to warm up, if her thoughts are really deep like that maybe she has to get to know you before she can speak herm ind fully and not feel "stupid" or "misunderstood".

[quidproquo]

amouthindebt ~

 

Hmm, that's quite odd that she would take such offense to your first request for her to open up. I'm not sure if she felt insecure or what...

 

Anyhow, yes, bring up the subject again and mention that you feel the wall she built when you try to get close to her. Make sure she knows that you're interested in the person she is and would like to get to know her better but you feel inadequate because your efforts aren't being returned. Hopefully by focusing on how you feel [about her] instead of placing the blame on her will result in her letting down her guard.

 

Then ask if she would feel more comfortable and less pressured if she were to write you a letter. Or, if you feel comfortable, surprise her with a letter - "hey I thought I might write you a sweet letter and would appreciate it if you'd reply..." I don't know - go with how comfortable you are.

 

What kind of thoughts keep "lingering" in your head "now and then"? And what areas do you feel you "need to look at [yourself]"?

 

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