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Please! Help,


I need some advice on relationships. I was dating this guy for 9 months. He always come to visit me and spend time with my son and family. They really like him. He recently broke up with me because he said that I am causing stress into the relationship. He said that I have mood swings that are causing him stress. He said that he don't know when the mood swing will come back up again. He has health issues (High Blood Pressure) and he said that the stress would affect it. Well, I told him that I wouldn’t call as much because I don't want to take a toll on his health. Well, He told me that I wouldn't affect it and now I will. I don't understand. Just last week after a two-week hiatus from calling each other, we talked and he said that he loved me, missed me and wanted us live together. I don't know what to do. We both love each other and want to be together. Mind u, this is a long distance relationship. I know that I have a lot of baggage from previous relationships but I am willing to work on this one. The distance is getting to me because I want to be with him. I asked him if it was ok that I come for a visit. I want to try to make the relationship work but I didn't tell him that, he said, "No, It would not be ok". He wanted me to come and visit but I guess he is upset with me now. I was supposed to go there as long as I wanted to stay. I think that it's really over. He says that I don't understand his situation. Should I give him more time to cool off? If he really loved me then we could work through this, right? Every couple has their ups and downs. We are still learning each other. I think that when we actually get to spend more time together then he will see the kind of loving person I really am. He has already said that I am an amazing woman with a good heart. That he loves me dearly. Is it my fault for the breakup? Was I being such a nag? I understand about his health. He doesn’t see the things that he does. When we have phone sex he gets off the phone quickly but when we just talk we talk for a long time. I just don't want that to be the only thing on his mind. I also understand that he is still trying to get stability in his life because He just moved from another state to be near family and has yet to find a job. Am I being too impatient? I just can't believe he don't feel the emptiness too. I can't believe that his feelings are gone so quickly. It's only been a week and he is making himself available (that was quick) and he is also ignoring me. Some advice. Please!!

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I don't think his feelings just changed within a week. Either he has been feeling this way for awhile and not expressing it or he's really not sure of what he wants. I would give him the space he wants and see if you get a phone call in a week or two.... after he's thought things through. In the meantime, I would think about the positive and negative things you have brought into the relationship so you can work on improving the negitives the next time around (whether it's with him or someone else). While he's taking the time he needs, devote your time to thinking about you instead of him.

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