It sucks being a nice guy...

[Caldus]

This is not a "I don't have a girlfriend and I wish I did" kind of post. This is a different kind of topic actually. So don't be misled by the title of the topic.

 

I got into a very small accident a few weeks ago. It was my fault. I did not yield to a U-turn and ended up putting a nice big dent on some woman's left door (I broke the right hand turn blinker light cover on my car). So the police came and all of that other stuff. The woman seemed very cooperative with us and didn't seem too mad at me. In fact we had small talk for a little while we waited for the police to come. First thing I asked her when I got out of the car and came up to her was "are you OK?" and she said "yes." So a few days after the accident I find out that she had gone to the hospital to get "checked-up" from the accident (I believe she was in the emergency room and not sure why).

 

She must've done this to try and raise my insurance and to reduce the costs on her end. So I called my insurance person or whatever and told them that she said that she was OK at the time of the accident (so she claimed). At the time of the accident I had also made another mistake: I told the police that it was my fault that this happened but for some reason he did not give me a ticket. I was just trying to be honest with everyone so that I would not get into any more trouble but guess what? Now that I told people that it was my fault I think my insurance is going to raise instead of just not saying anything and the insurance would probably not raise.

 

So I learned from all of this that I shouldn't tell the police that it wasn't my fault (or anyone for that matter) when it comes to accidents. Of course before this happened I believed in being honest and upfront with people. I believe in being nice and making up for things if I did something bad to someone (or their car, whatever it may be). So yeah it sucks being a nice guy. Ag, I'm tired of putting myself through this. I should just become the jerk type but I know deep inside it's wrong and I can't just change like that. Ah well.

[ayekasong]

Caldus, I know exactly how you feel.

 

When I was 16, I was in a very nasty accident, which was sort of my fault... but not really because of the fact that the intersection where it happened has (yes, 6 years later, still has) a faulty light. But anyway we don't need to get into details.

 

The other woman in the accident was fortunately not hurt. I was quite shaken up about the whole thing, but it passed, I went on to graduate from high school. Then, in my first year of college, surprsie! The woman and her husband (he wasn't even in the car) had filed a lawsuit against me, two years later. Apparently this is not the first time they have done this. I had never felt so betrayed and exploited in my whole life. It was an accident. I had carried on with my life. It's not like I had intentionally hurt her.

 

My faith in humanity took a big hit that day. Fortunately, it ended up being settled out of court. But now I am terrified of making a mistake again, for fear that I'll be sued again. Society is way too sue-happy.

[Caldus]

Well it's not really that. It's more about the fact that I was being nice and upfront about it at first and didn't have any second thoughts about that. And yet my insurance will increase and all of this other stuff. You know? It's like if you act nice in this society then it seems like you get screwed over for it.

[crookster_man]

Well ayekasong, I've always said Americans are way to sue happy. That's the problem with a socity that tries to take responsiblity for their actions and place it one someone else. leads to a lot of frivilious lawsuits. Really gets me going! Of course there is a lot of money to be made in law suits, which is why I want to be a lawyer .

 

Anyways back to the real issue. It is better to be the good person. You did nothing wrong with being honest Caldus. Prehapps there were a few more precausions you could have taken such as having the police write and give you a statement and so forth, but all you can do is learn from it.

 

There will always be people who are purly motivated by their own self interests. There isn't much you can do aobut that. If you allow one bad experience to turn you into a bad person what hope is there for the world? Eventually everyone will be cold and selfish. Be true to you, it doesn't matter what other do all that matters is that you can look yourself in the mirror in the morning.

 

Besides who says the lady is trying to screw you? there could be many reasons that she went to the hospital I doubt she would try to mess you up for no reason. Give people the benifit of the doubt. Cheers

[avman]

My friend it does not matter what you told the police. If your insurance company investigates and determines it is your fault they will raise your rates. Thats just how it works. It is ok that you were honest with the police. If you had lied, thats when you would have been in trouble.

 

The insurance company exists to protect you against claims like this. So let them deal with the woman. You pay them to worry about stuff like this. They'll take care of investigating things, hiring lawyers, etc.

 

You should know that after a car accident some symptoms don't show up right away. I was hit HARD about 3 years ago by someone from behind. When I first got hit I didn't think I was hurt and was attending to my kids. But after about 10 minutes I really felt terrible. My whole body felt like it was on fire. Then the paramedics showed up and treated me. But 2 days later I could hardly move I was in such pain. And the doctors told me thats very normal.

 

Well to make things short, I ended up with $15,000 in medical bills because 2 of the disks in my neck were damaged. I still have pain to this day. I don't hold a grudge against the girl who hit me, but I sure wish she had been paying attention to what she was doing. Because of her inattention, I get to pay for the rest of my life. So I dealt with her insurance company to get them to pay for the treatment. And yes I had to sue them to do it because they refused. It wasn't because I hated the person who hit me. But I certainly wasn't going to get screwed out of 15 grand either.

 

So you did the right thing. It was an honest mistake. And you have insurance to protect yourself. Yes you'll pay higher rates for awhile, but you did have an at-fault accident. Being nice has nothing to do with that, its just the consequence of making a mistake. Oops. Life goes on.

[Pyralis]

I know how it feels, I'm always upfront and honest about stuff and I've been burned for it many times. I even told a friend at work that I really think that I should try to change myself, but I do not like the idea of doing that at all. I like being honest and caring. It's so hard to live in a world that always stomps on the "nice guy."

[Caldus]

I know how it feels, I'm always upfront and honest about stuff and I've been burned for it many times. I even told a friend at work that I really think that I should try to change myself, but I do not like the idea of doing that at all. I like being honest and caring. It's so hard to live in a world that always stomps on the "nice guy."

 

That's what I'm getting at here. I guess it's about trying to be nice but at the same time not being used so easily by our society. I just wanted to see if other people felt like I did because my mom is the same way and she has been in so many horrible relationships, been fired for really dumb reasons, been screwed over for a lot other things, etc. It just seems to be a common thing for nice guys/girls.

[Hailey]

hey caldus, sorry for wht had happened to u. But u should be more positive. I agreed with Avman, there're many reasons for a person to act evil in the society. But u'll have no regret for being a nice guy.

 

Right, u can't always be a nice person especially in office... so many politics and backstabbing and betrayals. That doesn't mean u should turn to be a selfish or bad guy. U have to learn to adjust yourself when u in different situtaions. Sometimes it has it's advantage of act stupid. You'll know wht I mean when u get older and see alot different kind of people. I can assure u there're some even worse than that woman hah!

 

I know it's not easy man, but that's the way to be a smart person and to protect yourself. A lot good people still out there, fighting, and u should feel proud of yourself of being one of them.