How do I feel better about myself ?

[chili601]

It's been over a year since my ex cheated on me after a 17 year relationship. He wound up marrying the woman he cheated on me with, and moved in with her and her children in some ultra-rich neighborhood in California. Early in our relationship, when we were both in our 20's he became "ill" and wound up on disability, while I was the one who worked a stressful job, helped maintained the house I shared with my sister and paid the bills. He "lived" with his parents, but spent most of the time at my house. Years later his illness improved to the point he could go out and play golf and video games. I begged him to go back to work so we could afford to move in together, get married and have a family, but somehow he always managed to make me feel guilty for not understanding his pain or being too emotional. I feel like I was the responsible one, but now he has a wife and instant family in california (the life I always dreamed of having) and I'm alone and too old to have kids now. How am I supposed to feel better about myself when all my hard work all these years got me nothing and he was lazy and managed to get everything I wanted?

[bw92116]

You feel good about yourself because you were good and he was bad. For the whole story, you were right and he was wrong. You did all the good things, all the right things. You're not to blame for anything; he is. From what you have said in the post above, it's all his fault. Don't let it make you feel bad about yourself. You can still have the life of your dreams, with someone new, and be happy in that life. You can feel good about yourself because of that.

[LonelyGirl10]

Your life isn't over. I know that what happened to you was horrible, and I feel badly for you. But you can still meet someone else, and still have that life you want. If you're too old to have children, think about fostering or adopting. Your ex used you, and it sucks. You feel good about yourself because you know that you deserve someone better than that, and you go out and find the life you want.

[Edmund Exley]

Be happy he is off your hands and is someone else's problem, because he is just using up the next person.