Now What????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[Hurting in Manitoba]

Hey!

Well, it's been a week since we got back. Not too sure if I still want this. It's weird because we more less picked up where we left off, 4 months ago. Not much has changed on his part. I on the other hand have did a 360. I don't know, I never really planned on taking him back. In fact I never thought I would see him again. I only wish I would've prepared myself for that day. Basically, I let my emotions get in the way of making the decision of letting him back in. We do have children so it's not just a matter of moving out of province. I guess I'm just a little confused about the whole situation. Thanks for your ears.

[hockeyboy]

he had you call his girlfriend to break up with her for him?

[MrLonely]

All i can say is congrats I'm going through the same thing now (only been 3 weeks) and its good to know that there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

[Hurting in Manitoba]

YES! I guess that was his way of reassuring me that the threat was gone.

And having the advantage of telling "her" that he was back with ME and that she best find herself another man because MY man was coming home with me.

Now I can totally understand why you would try and make this sound like a negative thing,, by him getting me to phone her, but I know he had my interest at heart, and I have my honey back.

[hockeyboy]

as long as your happy i suppose...that is a plus.

 

but honestly it sounds cowardly on his behalf. i would just hate for him to ever do that to you. hopefully he doesn't.

 

then again, i dont know the entire situation, im sure there can be many aspects to this that would make it make a lot more sense to me.

 

regardless, congrats, i hope the two of you can fix the problems that separated you in the first place. are you aware of what they were? how to resolve them and not fall in the same trap? that is the key to making it work. i got back with an ex a couple times and it never worked out cause the same problems arose.

[iceesnowbubble]

This is great news! congratulations and if you run into any problems be sure to let us in on them so we can help you out and keep your relationship strong! have a wonderful day everyone

 

-Brianna

[Belle]

uh... i have to agree with hockeyboy. I don't want to rain on your parade but if he can be that hurtful to her, what's stopping him from doing that to you in the future?

 

And the fact that you took relish in "winning" the competition with her. tsk tsk. karma has a funny way of teaching us humility at some point or another...

[littlelaxer]

why did u guys break up in the first place??

[iceesnowbubble]

That's a good point belle but the fact that he has history with hurting in manitoba is the reason why it probably made it easier for him to leave that other girl and go back to her. However, it doesn't make it okay and he IS capable of doing that to you hurting in manitoba * haha, sorry I don't know your name.* However, hopefully since he had to choose between two girls he will be happy with his decision and treat you right in the future. GOod luck.

[LaSirena]

He had YOU call this poor, stupid girl to break up with her by proxy?! How would YOU feel to have some woman you don't even know calling you up with the bad news that you've been dumped?!

 

That he would behave so badly to her is one thing...that you would participate in such a cowardly, disrespectful maneuver is astounding!

 

I've always said that women don't stand up for each other and will hurt each other over a man who isn't even worth it! Beware that in the future you may receive a phone call from another woman just like you did.

[shockeddismayed]

I agree with LaSirina,

 

The way this breakup was handled on ALL sides was immature.

 

If all he wanted was to assure you that the other girl was out of the picture, he could have invited you to listen to him while he called her up to calmly explain the situation.

 

At least then he'd have been there to comfort her a little bit and answer her questions.

 

The point is there were plenty of ways for him to prove to you that she was out of the picture without being a coward and having you do the dirty work.

 

He's a boy not a man..... and I'm not thrilled with the way you handled this either.

[daredevil]

First I think it's great that u two are back together, but on the other hand I think the way u got back together is ridicolus... If he isn't man enough to call it off whit this other woman, then what does he then have to offer in a relationship? everytime u 2 will have a problem he will hide and let another take the blame or something.. he sounds like a chicken to me... sorry for judging.. but I think he is .... awful against this woman u hardly know

[Belle]

I'm with you Lasirena. And I'm happily surprised to see the guys can recognize immaturity. I thought you guys liked that stuff.

 

I think when women are willing to disrespect each other for some sort of base competition they are really only hurting themselves because there is no honor and of course it will always come back around.

[FiveHorizons]

Your bf is a scumbag.

[shockeddismayed]

I'm with you Lasirena. And I'm happily surprised to see the guys can recognize immaturity. I thought you guys liked that stuff.

 

 

I know you are mostly joking, but there are theories out there that say that an attitude like that is likely to make your fears a reality.

 

Think about it this way... let's say you meet a trustworthy guy... yet you don't trust him anyway b/c of your own fears... he senses this.... he tries to be even more trustworthy and kind... you grow more suspicious ('what is he hiding')... over time, he gets resentful of your lack of trust.... he ends up doing something he otherwise would not simply because you've made him feel like a dirtbag anyway. You didn't reward him for being a trustworthy person... in fact you've punished him and pushed him away.

 

Anyway... obviously that is not the situation here, but I'm just pointing out how an overly negative/guarded attitude has a way of bringing about the exact behaviour you are hoping to avoid.