4 year Relationship - She left with son.....HELP

[dirtbubble]

Well, as I told you, it sounds like one big headgame she's playing. It will never change, and you will eventually have to give up either the relationship or whatever self-respect you have left.

 

It might be a mistake to see other women right now because you are so caught up the game playing with this woman. Don't unwittingly drag anybody into this mess until it is resolved.

 

For the sake of your child, demand clarity of position on all sides and go from there. Be clear yourself, anyway. It seems like she will never be clear, and you can't change her.

[twogood24u]

Well I met up with the ex @ the mall last nite to get pics with santa for our son....after that we went wondering around the mall for an hour then parted ways......it felt really akward lol although I was bieng as polite and cheerfull as I could be....she had a strange look in her eyes like she was really sad or miserable....I tried cracking some jokes etc....but that didnt work either.......one thing I did notice is that while we where walking she always walked pretty close to me........Then I asked her If she wanted to go on a train ride with me and my son berfore I left....I figured she would say sure next week nope she wants to go tomm night....my question is whats up with the upset beahviour......also why after I saw her or when I talk to her she always calls my mom to talk to her and then she makes sure she says "we will never get back together" she says that every time she talks to her.......if she didnt want anything at all why would she want to meet me again right away????....also what are some other things I can go out and do with her and my son anyone got any ideas??....

[dirtbubble]

Look, I know you want to get back together with her. Your head is swimming with desperate emotions about her, yourself and your child.

 

I don't think you are going to figure out where she is coming from--ever. I certainly can't tell you. But she swears you'll never be together again, and I think you need to take it from there.

 

My advice all along is not to become the foil for her distress. You need to recover from all of this yourself. Let her figure herself out, and you move on and get your strength back. Again I say, where there has been even one single instance of violence, the two should part. This is especially true because of the child. You can still be in the boy's life, but not in hers.

 

Your mind will never clear so long as you allow her confusion to invade your every conscious moment. I think you need clarity.

 

Also, let me say that eventually your mom should stop taking her calls unless the call is about something relevant to the child's well-being.

 

I know what I say is hardcore. I don't like it any more than you. You have to try to think about ten years down the road.

[cleverme123]

I see no good in trying to hold on to a relationship with this girl. She obviously has guilt on her conscious, maybe she was cheating on you and that is why the hostility and sadness. Maybe its a guilt thing. All I know is if you constantly continue to beat yourself up over this you will find yourself more and more confused. Just keep the kid out of the middle, and I wouldn't suggest group dates with her because that is making the situation worse.