I still love him, but I want a friendship...

[RobustMouse]

Hi everyone, How are you all? I'm alright, except for a little Teenage-Love problem I'm in. I feel I to vent, and get some advice on it. Please forgive my intrusion, I'm just glad that I found someplace that I can post at. I guess I might as well start.

 

I'll need to give some history.

 

I worked as a backstage hand in a children's theatre play, and in the play, I began to feel very strongly for one of the actors. (I'll call him Jason). I developed a very strong crush on Jason from the first day that I met him. I went to rehearsals, I talked with him, I flirted with him, honestly I tried to know him as best as I could. Then the play ended. I stayed up intil 4 AM the day before the last performace drawing and coloring a picture for him that I framed. I gave it to him along with a letter.

 

I saw him again at a cast party that one of the stage managers held. That was nearly a month ago, the last time I talked to him was 2 weeks ago.

 

End of history. hope that wasn't to boring!

 

Anyway, my main concern is complicated, I'm sowwy. I'll explain it.

 

I've accepted that fact that me and Jason will never be together in a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of way. I know all to well he will never look at me the same way I look at him. But...

 

I still don't want him to forget me.

I don't want to lose contact with him, I don't want him to forget me, I want to be his friend. The thing is, I don't know how to be. Jason and I never talked much during the play or at the cast party, we just never hit it off. We did once, but never again. I would have to ask him a question in order to get him to talk to me. I can't really even consider him an aquatence.

 

Still, I don't want to lose him, he means to much to me, he gave me hope, I've got a huge crush on him, and I don't want him out of my life! Yet, if we were never friends to begin with, what makes me think he and I will grow close? I don't know.

 

What do you all think?

 

Thank you!

[Mun]

Hi there and welcome !

 

I think that maybe it's not "Jason" you are enfatuated with but the idea of him. You say that you never really hit it off or talked much, so I would think that in a sense you didn't really get to know each other enough to be real friends. You have a crush on him and while it's very nice of you to want to be friends with him, he hasn't shown the same interests as you.

 

I'm afraid you have no choice but to let him go. I'm sorry for this because I know you would have wanted something more, but we can't exactly force ourselves on someone. Or at least we shouldn't.

 

I hope that you are feeling better soon and that you will be able to move on.

 

Best wishes

[Alabama]

I've felt the same way. There have been many times with the girls I've liked, that when I learned they didn't like me, it hurt, but I still wanted to be friends with them nonetheless. So I suggest to talk to him more, or find someway to contact with him. If you still want to be friends, that's okay. I'm sure everything will work out! Good luck!

[disguisedpixie]

Aww i know how you feel. I had loads of crushes like that during my teens. I remember a guy i was infatuated with for months, but during that time when i was just thinking about him all the time, i wasn't aware that somebody felt exactly the same way about me! It wasn't until i told myself to get over him that i was able to see that there was someone else who liked me, i didn't have to try and win his affections like i was trying to do with the other guy. And then me and the new guy got together and it was amazing, i wondered what i ever saw in the other guy. So what i'm saying is, just forget about this guy and move on. Just take things as they come, be prepared for anything. I mean, Jason might make an effort some day, but for now, just have a look around, i bet there's loads of other guys out there who are nicer than Jason and want to get to know you.

[RobustMouse]

Thank you all of you! It does feel good to vent!

 

Muneca, I'm sorry, but I don't really understand what you mean on the "idea" of him. I'm not to sure what you mean by that I know what you mean by not forcing ourselves on anyone. I guess I just wanted to be part of his life, not only because I like him but also because I admire him so much.

 

I never really hit it off with him because I was to shy to talk with him. We have a lot in comman believe it or not, but I'm just really shy.

 

But...

 

On the other hand, I feel as if this is true too. I'm an introvert, so is he. I can be outgoing, but most of the time I'm fairly calm. Jason...he really is in introvert. For awhile he didn't talk to us, seriously! He didn't seem shy, just not talkative at all.

But, torwards the end of the play, I did notice that he got more open with us, and I also noticed that he seemed to 'hang' more with the very extrovert people! Gosh.

I really do feel confused.