Doomed to be single forever??

[musicguy]

Maybe this is too negative, but can some people be single for a really long time? I'm single now and it seems like I get no where in finding the "right" girl. Oh yeah and a lot of people tell me that one can find love if you aren't too pressed in looking for it...is that true? Thanks for the input.

[DBL]

What are you doing to meet girls? Are you asking girls out or are you waiting for them to come to you. I heard on the radio the other day that men are better off meeting girls through friends, then to try meeting them anywhere else, espcecially if it is a girl that is introducing a girl to you. Also try a dating service.

 

DBL

[musicguy]

I've tried it all and nothing seems to work. There is this girl I like and we hang out quite a bit..okay..mostly everyday and we are all affectionate towards each other, but I dunno.

[DBL]

What don't you know about?

[SkyFire]

My friend... your problem is not that you can't find the right girl. Your problem is that you place HAPPINESS upon a girl. You will not be happy with a girl if you arent happy now. You are responsible for your own happiness. You do not NEED girls to be happy with yourself. They are like icing on a cake.

 

And yes... you will find the right girl when you stop caring about girls.... nature is screwed up like that.

 

Now go out, achieve your goals, and enjoy life. THEN you will be happy.

[hoolio]

it seems u and this girl have it pretty much set.. step up and make a move man

[shes2smart]

My friend... your problem is not that you can't find the right girl. Your problem is that you place HAPPINESS upon a girl. You will not be happy with a girl if you arent happy now. You are responsible for your own happiness. You do not NEED girls to be happy with yourself. They are like icing on a cake.

 

And yes... you will find the right girl when you stop caring about girls.... nature is screwed up like that.

 

Now go out, achieve your goals, and enjoy life. THEN you will be happy.

 

Very well put...and very true...are you sure you're only 16?

[Double J]

Yeah, you can't depend on a girl to be happy, or you'll be miserable. A girl should enhance your life, not complete it, because only YOU complete your own life.

[PAdreamer]

I agree with SkyFire. I personally believe that you won't be truly prepared to be in a long term, committed relationship until you know that you can be happy if it never happens. Your happiness should not depend on whether or not you have someone in your life. Now I admit, once you finally have someone, they innevitably become your life. But in a way that's an entirely different thing. A story for a different time.

 

Musicguy, a word of encouragement. I believe that true love finds you when you least expect it. My boyfriend is 27, and we only recently found each other. So be patient. Sometimes you have to wait for things to fall into place so that you can have the best possible experience. Good things come to those who wait. But the best things come to those who are CONTENT to wait.

[Amethyst]

Yeah, you can't depend on a girl to be happy, or you'll be miserable. A girl should enhance your life, not complete it, because only YOU complete your own life.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

There's an old saying that says you'll never be happily married until you can be happily single. As long as you base your happiness on another person, you'll never be happy. Sure, right now, you are thinking, "If only I had a woman in my life, I'd be happy." But, you know what? If you *had* a woman in your life, you'd probably be thinking something like, "if only she would do this for me, I'd be a lot happier" or "if only we had this, things would be so much better". You have to learn to be content with who you are and what you have; otherwise, you will never be happy because you'll always want something else.

 

You are HARDLY an old man at 25 and still have a LOT of time to find that special someone. I'm 26 and still very single (no boyfriend, right now), and a friend of mine who is 36 just got married last year.

 

Seriously, be content with your place in time, and you will find happiness outside of your circumstances.

[musicguy]

I'm pretty much happy where I'm at now. I got my degree. I'm outta college and I have a job (maybe 2 soon). Just looking for that "special someone" ya know

[Amethyst]

Not to contradict you; but, if you were happy, you wouldn't be worried about "being single forever" or "finding the right girl". Like I said, you have to be happy as a single man before you can ever be happy as a married one.

[CoffeeFiend]

Not to contradict you; but, if you were happy, you wouldn't be worried about "being single forever" or "finding the right girl". Like I said, you have to be happy as a single man before you can ever be happy as a married one.

 

Well, I think being single can really start bothering you, even if you are otherwise happy. Like me. Especially if you are generally inexperienced with people. However, this site got me worried, one thread in particular. (You can look at my posting history to find out which).

 

I was perfectly content being single before stumbling upon that thread, I thought I had my life figured out and that everything was under control. Sure, sometimes when falling asleep, I'd think it would be nice if there was someone to hug next to me, and other similar things like that, but nothing drastic. All my life, I have had other things to worry about other than being single and how to appeal to the opposite sex, thus, I have never given these things any priority or had any practice at getting good at it. Now I suddenly realize that it actually requires a lot more practice than I expected and there aren't any textbooks or equations to tell me how to do it, what is more, people my age and much younger tend to be more experienced than me, that really kills my self-esteem and sense of control over my life.

 

But I try not to get stressed out about it, I try to think of the whole deal as falling asleep, if you try and get all nervous, chances are you won't fall asleep any time soon, but if you just let your thought drift seamlessly(or when trying to find a partner, you simply start socialising more, start meeting new people ect.), it will eventually happen without you noticing it.

 

Edit: added some left out words and fixed typos.