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"Clashing of Religions?"

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They say that if something is "Too good to be true" it usually IS. I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. He's intelligent, mature, handsome, with goals and aspirations. We have so many things in common he seems almost like my other half...Unfortunately I had been trying to dodge the "religion" topic with him... I didn't think it was something that you just openly speak of when you first meet somone, but obviously it is or I wouldn't be here right now. He realized I had been evading his questions and finally asked me how I felt............. I told him that I didn't believe that the existence of God could be proved or disproved. He reads the bible daily and chooses Christianity as his religion. It usually is no bother to me if someone disagrees with my spiritual preference but this is different. I actually feel bad for the choice that I have made and I find myself doing all kinds of reasearch to find why he feels as he does and what I could possibly do to feel the way he does.... He has completely distanced his self from me. He shows me no affection what so ever and told me that he no longer sees me as being his partner since I do not aknowledge a higher power... When I think of God and the bible I think the whole "concept" is wonderful as long as someone doesn't take it to the extreme. I could actually apply a lot of the lessons to my life but not for the sake of going to a Heaven or Hell but just to become a better person for "myself"...



Has anyone ever known of something like this happening... I don't really see it happening but does anyone see how the two of us could find some sort of "common ground" to grow from????? Please PM me if you have something more to say than just a post... anyone's perspective will be most helpful





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Different views when it come to relationships and relationships are hard.


The biggest thing you need to do it to always try to see it from his point of view too, never ever make fun of anything, and most importantly to respect each others point of view. It can work out of, as long as you discuss it openly and feel comforatable to discuss it with one another.


When you run into problems, is when one person feels the other thinks less of them for their religious choises. Or when one tries to convert the other. Or when one refuses to participate in certian holidays, or traditions, because they are from a certian religion.


Just try to have respect for each others views, and to support the other, no matter if you agree with their views or not.

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Religion amoungst believers is a very IMPORTANT subject. Typically, someone who strongly believes in their faith are taught to date only others of the same faith because it will lead to many conflicts should both parties decide to eventually marry and have children.


It's not just beleiving in the concept of right or wrong...it's beleiving in GOD himself. The fact that you are exploring the idea of Christianity is great! Why don't you ask him to explain what makes Christianity important to him?


It's hard to explain...but the mentality of religious people tend to be "always trying to be good". They are less likely to cheat on their spouse because both parties love God and will do good in the eyes of Him.


Now, I am not knocking any non-believers out there...I am just trying to explain where religious people come from and their point of view.

Hope I wasn't too confusing. PM me if you like. I am not a Bible thumper, I just feel I understand your situation.

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I agree with what has been said before, and I just want to throw out my 2 cents, since I've been there before. I was raised a Christian (but wasn't as devoted as I am now), and during my younger years I did alot of dating. I ended up in a relationship where the girl was an Evolutionist, and you can see that caused quite a few problems between us. The biggest problem was that she didn't want to see my side, even though I put the effort to see her side ( I would even agree with a few points she would make, telling her they were well thought out). But since she didn't put that same effort to seeing my side, and then got to the point were she just didn't like me being Christian, things had to end. I never tried to convert her, but she kept putting this effort to convert me (even telling me that I was too smart to believe in God), so I just ended things, and never looked back.


Like tiger_lilies said, most Christians will look for another Christian to have a relationship with. For one each partner already knows that the other person won't be thinking about cheating on the other person, since it's something that is really frowned upon. Also it makes things a bit more easier between both people, since you can both go to Church together, pray together during meals, and just share experiences that have made a difference in each others lives.


Try what tiger_lilies said, ask him to explain why God means so much to him. By doing so you will be able to understand why his Faith is the way it is, and it will also give you the chance to see why it's important. If he starts trying to "convert" you, just tell him that you want to take time and really research it, and that you really need time and guidance to see if this is right for you. He should definatly understand, and he won't try to convert you, but just inform you about things you may not know, or show you more ways it can apply to your life.

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Obviously it is important to him to be involved with a person who has similar beliefs. I think its best that you accept his decision and move on. If he is willing to give up what you to have for these reasons then his belief is strong enough that whatever you do wont be good enough to get back where you were. You have your beliefs for a reason and i believe that you should look at why you believe what you do so that belief is strengthen and you become more confident about what you believe and why.

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if you don't believe in god, don't let anyone push you into believing in it.


maybe you can tell him you respect his views on religion but ask him to not discredit your view?


religion is a personal matter.


bf's catholic and i'm atheist. I just always listened and smiled when he talks about god, and he listens and tries to understand when i make fun of religion all together. The only time I out right took his hopes away was when he went off to Iraq and sent me an e-mail along the lines of "I can't truly believe you don't believe in god because you always had so much faith." I was like... heh... I don't need god to have faith and sorry baby, i'll never be religious.


well... I think that's even easier to work out than my friend's case. he's jewish and his girlfriend's christian. How they deal with it is they celebrate both holidays and each go to their own church.


just respect each other's views and don't try converting him or be converted. convince him to respect your views though, or it won't work.

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I think your biggest problem here is his attitude. If he's decided that he only wants to date people that are committed Christians, then I think you're out of luck. If he's willing to explore the entire faith question with you, then not only will you find something you're comfortable in believing, his beliefs might well be strengthened, too.

An unexamined faith is very little faith at all.


When I was in college, I dated and fell in love with a man of a different religion. It broke us apart, mostly because of pressure from his family. He married a girl of his faith, but the marriage ended badly, and he eventually married another woman of the same faith I am. I think he has regrets that he let it break us up - not that he's not happy with his current wife - just that he's realized that it's workable to have two different belief systems in a marriage, and that it really wasn't a good reason to break up.

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