Age vs. relationship maturity

[hurtin]

Before I started dating my ex, I asked myself if her never being in a relationship before would be a problem later on. I should have paid more attention to this, as after 3 years together, she left because she wanted to 'experience' things. This post is not about my failed relationship, but rather if anyone has some insight as to the level of maturity people possess at different ages.

 

Reason I'm asking is this: I've been asked out several times by this girl who is 22 (I'm 27). I've know her for about a year, and throughout that time I've learned that she is quite mature for a person her age. Moreover, she's had a few serious relationships. So, does that fact that she's been in a few relationships make her more 'relationship savy' than someone who is older, yet hasn't had much relationship experience?

 

Thanks

[RayKay]

Possibly, as every person is truly different depending on their own personal experience and their own personality. At 22 I had just survived the sudden death of a man I had been with for 4.5 years and I KNOW for sure that even now, three years later, I am way more emotionally and relationship mature than my peers which makes it hard for me to date anyone my own age actually. So I really think that everyone is different depending on their upbringing, their intelligence, their history and experiences........

 

Don't hold 22 against her is all I am trying to say as she may be more mature than the 27 year old you meet on another day..don't go with someone purely because of their age, but because of the whole package including their personal maturity level. She might even be looking for an older guy more on par with her own relationship goals as guys her age in general are not there yet either!

 

So, I would say if you are attracted to her and interested in her, and have known her a year already - go for it! A date does not mean marriage, you know, so just go into it with an open mind and see where it goes. You might have an incredible time, or discover you are not a great match...nothing wrong with exploring to find out though.

 

Peace, and good luck.

[hurtin]

RayKay...what a fantastic response.....you are absolutely right..what do I have to lose? I'll let you know how it goes...

[RayKay]

RayKay...what a fantastic response.....you are absolutely right..what do I have to lose? I'll let you know how it goes...

 

Glad I could help...best of luck and I look forward to hearing about it!

[PAdreamer]

I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 27. He's had several relationships in the past, and all of the ladies he dated were older than I am. But our age difference has never been an issue because I am mature for my age, and as a result we get alone beautifully! So age is not the point, but maturity plays a BIG part in a relationship.

[TrueHeart]

I've dated older men in the past before, my first was 2.5 years older, and recently I had a 2-year relationship with someone who was 10 years older. The maturity level on my 21 year old ex was higher than my 33 year old ex.... !

 

Maturity level has EVERYTHING to do with it. Age is just a number to me. I am 23, and I enjoy the company and companionship of older men. Only because I find that my mentality is not that of a "typical" 23-year old. In fact, some (not all) men who are my age bother me because they have a tendency to play games more and be dishonest... I do things that women in their early 20s do still, but I've always been able to relate to older men a lot more. Currently, I am dating a 44-year old man who I've known for 8 years.. We were the best of friends that just blossomed into love.... Didn't see it coming!!! But I'm glad it did-- because he's wonderful!

[badbadbad]

Maybe it's because I was always called "mature for my age", but I don't get all this maturity talk.

"Maturity level", if there is such a thing, what the hell does that mean anyway? Is there some kind of chart in some high school health textbook?

To a 13 year old, a guy who has a car seems to be a mature thing, but if that person is 25 and living in his parent's basement, he might be quite immature...So, if the 13 year old is really "mature for her age" (say she has a great vocabulary and enjoys watching CSPAN) does this mean that the "maturity levels" equal out and these 2 would make a good couple?

More Thoughts:

The so-called maturity scale is a tool used by the immature to justify something. Not sure what.

I don't think a mature person really uses the word mature.

So I guess that makes me pretty immature then, since most of this post is comprised of the flippin word.

Just face it: any one under 25-30 is going to be immature in more ways than they know...you'll realize this later. I'd go even further and suggest that after a certain point unique to each person's life the word is moot...personally I think this post is the 1st time I've used the word in a sentence (or 10) in about 10 years...

Do I have a point? Ehhh, maybe I already made it...or not.

One thing I have learned here is that girls like older guys, so even tho I'm old (33) I could still find true love with someone half my age! Thanks e-Not-Alone!

see ya, off to play Doom3 online (mature or not?)

d>

ps... for the record, I stick with 25 and up...unless they are REALLY hot...

(I'm so NOT funny...)

[TrueHeart]

Wow, I truly appreciate your insight and input!! It puts it into a different light, and atleast knowing that there are SOME guys who really know what the meaning of "mature" are

 

Having said that, I agree that most women will date older men because of preference-- whether it be mentally, emotionally or physcially-- those "older gents" have a far better chance of staying "attractive" to those younger ladies because, we (the ladies) know that men mature slower than us.. He he, thats not a dig, but usually true. There are SOME women aren't there that don't see it that way, and thats fine.

 

I heard a saying by one of my forum friends online here. He said something that has stuck with me, in reference to age-gap relationships ranging from 10-20 years..."You could search for years and years, though hundreds of people your own age and never find the mental compatability that you'd find in a person who would be older"

 

Makes sense... I think it just about wraps it up..!