She left me to marry her Ex

[mrnippon]

My girlfriend dumped me two weekends ago. Here is the story. She had moved back to the US in February after living in Japan for a while. When she left Japan she ended a long term relationship with a guy when she realized she could never marry him. I met her a few months later. Despite my reservations about being a rebound relationship, I started dating her. We had a great relationship - no fights, great conversations, really one of the best starts I had ever had. When I realized things were getting serious, I asked her if she still had feelings about her ex. She said no. She had stayed a with him a few months longer than she wanted to, to see if they could work things out. She felt certain that things were over.

Then her close friend in Japan died, so she went back for the funeral. While she was there, he asked her to marry him and she said yes.

 

When she first broke the news to me she said "I'm 34, I want to settle down and move on with my life." I asked her if I had miss-read something about our relationship. She said no, and that she was starting to fall in love with me. It's just that she had this relationship with him that was longer. She said that she had thought about giving the ring back, but she did not.

 

In the past two weeks she has emailed a few times to say that she still thinks of me and the good times we had.

 

It should be easy for me to get over her, but this one hurts. I really want close the door on her but it's hard. After all she did a really crappy thing to me. I guess it would be easier, if I thought this marriage thing would work out for her. Also before the Japan trip, I was really starting to think that she could be "the one."

 

I'm 99 percent sure that it is over with this girl . But I still can't completely close the door.

 

What should I do?

[Snarfnaj]

A door will only be closed in good time. It takes a while. However, you express your desire to close it. Before making any drastic decisions towards calling it quits, make sure you truly know what you want. I strongly believe in fighting for love and the one you can love, but not against better knowing. Right now it's extremely hard to communicate with her, since she's halfway accross the globe. There's only so much you can do over distance to express the way you feel. Once you communicate with her how strongly you feel, in all honesty and with a clear mind there is not much else you can do, but leave it up to her. Perhaps she feels strongly about Japan and figures her future is there and not in the US. Perhaps she feels so ready for a permanent commitment and feels like she's closer to that with the other man. One thing I'd like to point out and that's the fact that she went from the other to you back to the other which indicates to me that she really isn't ready for anything. A tough one, mrnippon. All I can say is be honest with yourself and with her. I wish you strength and luck,

 

 

JF

[Gauchori]

The only thing that I'll add is... try to forget her now. Don't weit and still have feeling and think about her because when she trully gets married, I'll be much harder. Take this as a leson from life. It will actually help you to have more confidence, have more success with women, and know what to do in a situation like this. In the End, you'll find THE ONE