She left for someone else but....

[calledm]

My girlfriend dumped me after 3 and a half years. One month later I discovered she was dating someone else, and two weeks later she told me that was a coworker that started to flirt with her and due to my lack of attention she started to feel something and decided to pursue him (no cheating). That was two months ago. We have seen each other 3 times, and she has every time kissed me, and has told me that she is not serious about this guy. She has called me a few times and she has got fed up if I didn't speak for long with her. So I have decided to break up our friendship and go to NC. She tells me her heart is hurt and due to the attachment she cannot be with him or with me or anyone else in a while, but she is still dating this guy but they only see each other once or twice a week.

 

She has told me she loves me but she is not in love anymore but because all her movements I don't know what to thinks. What do you think about this???

 

 

Thank you!!!

[DN]

I think that people say 'you didn't pay enough attention to me' to excuse cheating and to put the blame anywhere but on themselves where it belongs.

 

If you do want her back tell her she either loves and wants you now or she doesn't love you at all and she has 24 hours to make up her mind. If she says anything other than "I want you, please take me back now" go no contact and don't take her back later.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think this translates to she wants to shop around, yet keep you on the shelf just in case she doesn't hit pay dirt. Bottom line is, if he wanted to be with you, she would.

 

All the best...

[markie6]

As the others have said, right now you are a back up plan and could well get strung along if you let her. Never accept friendship with a view to sitting on the sidelines waiting and hoping for another chance, that may never come.

 

If you contributed to the demise of the relationship by not paying her attention or anything else, learn from it. It's rarely 1 persons fault on their own but sometimes we don't know what's wrong or what's missing unless we are told.

 

Either way she doesn't want to be with you right now, that's all there is to know. Take her words with a pinch of salt and concentrate on what she is doing

[Mike80]

Bottom line is, if she wanted to be with you, she would.

 

in a nutshell.