Being gay sucks!

[mgirl]

okay, here goes. I promised never to be a burden on this forum but i need to vent, as nobody else i know shares my opinion and thereforeeee will probably not listen or care.

 

Being gay sucks!

 

Here is the problem. First, you realise you have same sex attractions. You deal with the confusion in your head. Then you realise you must tell someone or align yourself with gay people somehow to make the pain go away, or to at least reach some understanding. So you do this.

 

Okay, I'll cut to the chase.

 

The only options available to me to meet other gay people is in nightclubs and inside nightclubs the only thing that goes on is drug taking and alcohol consumption. Now don't get me wrong, i don't mind the occasional drink, but i am not into the drugs.

 

People talk about lonliness but i don't think they have an edge on me. I actually work in gay nightclubs so i get to see all of this first hand. I am surrounded by people every weekend and still, i cannot find one SINGLE person i want to get to know or even have a relationship with, which makes matters even worse. It is like 'life' laughing in my face. On the outside i look like a friendly person, probably with no problems (everybody thinks i am perfect and together, but i am not)... It is just so torterous for me because soon i will be leaving that industry to go and work in a normal position and i am worried i will never meet another gay person for the rest of my life. I don't want to end up alone and i am too old to go out clubbing, so i feel really aweful. What do i do? There are no really good personals sites in Australia you can advertise with... I just don't know how i am going to live a normal life and fulfil the dream i always had of having a family and a good relationship, cos right now, that dream couldn't be further away. I have let go of the notion of having children, i am almost too old, but the relationship would be good. It just seems like being gay is a constant battle uphill, which doesn't get any better.

 

 

Sorry to vent, but i just had to have my say. It's a f***ed up life and i wish i was heterosexual sometimes. Oh well, at least i've put my misery out there. It might actually do me some good.

 

 

[Cadence308]

Well, I don't have the best of advice and I'm still figuring things out in my own head.

 

Do they have gay or lesbian organizations in Australia? I know that you study at the university and the universities in the states have organizations that meet regularly and it's supposed to be a good way to meet others to date or befriend. That's something to consider.

 

Also, you are not as old as you think you are. You are also not too old for children. Have you thought of the possibilities of getting artificially impregnated? That's an option if children are something that you really want. Adoption may be another option. I'm not sure how Australia handles single parent or homosexual adoptions.

 

Joining a gym and meeting people there is an option. The more you expose yourself and get out there, the better chance you have of finding someone.

 

That's all I can think of for now, but I may reply back to your post.

[Mr Mister1]

What University do you go to?

I know that at my University there was an actual Club run by the Union for gay and bi-sexual people so that they could meet one another. I think they called themselves the Liquice All Sorts. It might be worth your while to see if a society like that exists at your university and if it doesn't why not create one, you might then have heaps of other gay people saying they had the same problem, and then boom! You're in demand!

[San123]

One of my best friends is gay and he meets a lot of his gay friends online. They live in the same city and stuff, and sometimes he thinks its easier to meet other people that way... just a thought!

[spaggle]

hi being 16 now and realising im either bi or gay really hurts me alot, it messes up my life so much (read one of my other posts "going in circles") when i was younger i used to dream of the romance i would have with my husband and the fun and happiness i would have with my children but then i reached a stage when i really liked a girl. its so annoying.....I WISH I WAS STRAIGHT! but i suppose there is nothing i can do. i wonder why "god" gave us these feelings, especially if in his eyes those types of relationships are wrong. but u r right, it definatley sucks, but one day we will both hopefully find sum1 we love. anyway we cant change the way we feel so we'll just have to live with it.

[gift from the gods]

Thats why i enjoy being bi, its the best of both worlds, yes i do count myself very luck and mabey a exeption to the rule that at that a young age (well ....14/15) that i was able to have a relationship with a fantastic girl of the same age. It is unusal to be able to meet gay people, and so i totaly understand what u r going though. But i dont know if you could say your whole lifestyle sucks because of it.

instead of searching for "the one" or just anyone, enjoy being single, be happy that 1 day you will meet someone, let fate do its work.

[OmegaMan]

but i suppose there is nothing i can do. i wonder why "god" gave us these feelings, especially if in his eyes those types of relationships are wrong. but u r right, it definatley sucks, but one day we will both hopefully find sum1 we love. anyway we cant change the way we feel so we'll just have to live with it.

 

I find this religious conviction that homosexuality is wrong completely insane. It's horrible as it promotes conformity and forbids difference, while making every religious homosexuals out there feel bad about their sexual orientation. Urgh!

 

As far as I'm concerned, everyone still has the right to be themselves, religion or no.

 

Etienne

[shorty4ever15]

OK....maybe your right. Being gay does suck!!! But that doesnt mean you can just give up. And thats what it sounds like you've done--given up. If that's the case than f--k it--it's pointless. But i really think that there is some hope in your life. I don't think you would've made this post if there wasn't. So move on. YOUR GAY OK!!!! SO WHAT!!!! It's who you are and theres not a dam* thing you can do about it. So please just try to be content with that and move on.

[Cadence308]

Shorty is right. It sounds like you've given up. Try not to focus so much on not having someone and just try to meet people and become friends and see what happens. Although, by doing this you and any of us who have same-sex attractions do run the risk of falling for someone who is heterosexual.

 

This is a bit funny, but have you thought of joining a homosexual singles group at a neighborhood church? I don't know. I had this heterosexual friend several years ago who was in her late 30s and she was a liberal. She used to take her family to a homosexual church (she had 3 kids) because she said the people there were open minded. I'm not into church so this would be an absolute last resort for me!

[mgirl]

I don't think i have completely given up, but i am SICK of being single! People say enjoy it and i do to a certain extent, but there are so many things i want to do that would entail another person. For example, i really want to go on a holiday and i don't really want to go on my own, so it would be nice to go with another person. Ie. a partner! And none of my friends are available or have the money, so this makes it hard. And also, i want to buy a house and it is so much better with another person, and virtually impossible on your own unless you are earning megabucks... which i hope to be doing in a few years anyway , but still, you get my drift. And then there is affection... I KNOW... i should be content that i have two legs and two arms and I AM, but i would just like something more.

 

But in relation to meeting people, maybe i will join a gay group at Uni if i go back next year. That was a good suggestion.

 

Thanks for listening. It just makes it so much better to know that you/i can bent my feelings and somebody will listen . I guess this comes after years and years of being single. The thing is, i CAN meet someone, but it is not the RIGHT someone and all the rest of it .

[mgirl]

Oh yeah, and i am working at accepting myself more. Somehow i think i have gone through the passed 15 years thinking i have accepted the fact that i am gay, but i don't think i did at all. I now realise i have to be a force out there and not be scared of who i am. I think listening to/reading people's stories on this forum has helped me realise that i have to accept myself even more.