Find myself having converstions with my self like a crazy person

[Llola]

Hey all,

 

I know ive been broken up for a while, a year and 3 months to be exact after 8 years of which the break up and everything was my fault but it's all this time later and while im driving or some time in the day for a few minutes i find myself having a fake converasation in my mind. Thinking back of things that happened long ago and retelling the story in my head but only differently like if only i could go back that is how I would change it. Or I have fake conversations in my mind like what I would say if I saw him again and how i would be dressed and how he would instantly see what he's missing. I feel like im going crazy playing all these scenes in my head all the time!!!

 

Im so scared im going to be so down forever and never ever get over him. It's been this long and i can't even fake interest in another person! what if it never goes away!!!!

 

Anyone feel like this

[Hoagy]

People sing to themselves in cars so I don't see anything wrong with talking to yourself. Sometimes vocalising thoughts helps you to deal with them. You should only worry if you start doing it in front of other people.

[Liberty1]

I do that aswell lol.... Its just a way to deal with it i think... But also shows that ur holding onto hope a little which may be preventing you from moving on quicker... Once u eliminate hope your progress more...

Maybe next time you start to do it just stop yourself.. Its been a while for you now but 8 years was a very long time..

I believe regardless the length of the relationship you dont have to be hurting so bad after a few weeks... Eliminate hope, stop yourself from enacting scenarios n see how you fair...

[mrb]

No! I do this sometimes, not out loud, but in my head.

 

I think back about random times, not always the same ones, but times i felt i was naive and stupid and could of handled situations alot better. Saying certain things to her, or actions i wish i never did. I go over them in my head and imagine myself saying or doing different things. I even think to the future about when i eventually see her again. what enviorment will it be? What state of mind will i be in? What about her? What will she say, what will i say!?

 

I have no idea why i do both these things, i guess the looking back part is being resentful and maybe blaming myself for things not working out, what i could of done different. But the future thinking, well i'm not exactly sure what that would be. I still have alot of mixed emotions about her, and that's probably where the questions stem from. In time once im fully over everything, these answers will come to me.

[markie6]

Can't remember a time I haven't done this now I think about it. I came to the conclusion that it was to do with the amount unsaid, unexplained and unwanted residual emotions that needed to be sorted away.

 

I wouldn't worry about it unless you start doing it while in public

[Llola]

@markie6 hahaha no definitely not in public, it's just in my head, but it's exactly that....the unsaid things I never got to say, those things that happened that they never let you question. I guess I never really got any closure as you can say. I never got to say my last piece and finally have peace! But you right @liberty 1 i do have hope which is ridiculous since hes been with someone else for the same length of time as we've been broken up, that's the last piece to this puzzle is letting go of the hope...the one piece that I just don't know how to do for some reason!