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Indecisive Friends


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I at times can be pretty indecisive, but am usually fairly independent, take initiative, research for new things to do, places to eat, and explore. Many times by myself on my weekdays off. A good friend of mine, she grew up in this big city, I moved here 10 years ago, is SO indecisive/lost sometimes. I can understand, she grew up sticking her neighborhood and family and isn't very familiar with different areas where young artsy people hang out. But she's always up for anything I suggest and we have a great time regardless (although I find it weird a native city person will call me and tell me she's lost meeting me, say, in Chinatown. I had never been to the restaurant we were meeting at either and found my way: I don't know whether you should turn left or right!). It's come to a point where I feel she's dependent on me for my culinary adventures and decisions (& directions!) and I don't feel she initiates activities at all, actually.


We decided to go back to a restaurant in an artsy neighborhood this week that we ate at before, for her birthday (we went for mine earlier in the year- of course she asked me where I wanted to go, and I said let's try this one). We decided, let's make this place our tradition!


We are coming from opposite sides of the city to go to the restaurant, passing through the main district and back out to the artsy southern area. At first I said, I actually have a Dr's appt in the main district, ends at 4:30pm. Why don't we meet there after my appt, there is this giant candy store and other fun shops to look at to kill time (she is off this week). She says great, sounds fun to walk around. This morning I text her and say I'm feeling kind of sick, legs weak, probably am not up for shopping, but can meet you at the tube after the Dr and we take the subway down to the restaurant. Here's the names of a few of the cute shops- give yourself an hour for the candy store! and I'll meet you afterwards.


She keeps asking me "What do I want to do?" If I feel sick, we can reschedule. I said I'm fine, just tired and not up for shopping but am up for a sit-down dinner. "So where do I want her to meet me? In the main district or near the restaurant?" "And what time?"


By now, I've lost my patience with this dependency. (Figured she can kill time on her day off with shopping. Maybe she doesn't like shopping by herself?- I was also trying to motivate her to explore new areas & she sounded excited about the candy store) I basically said, I'm free at 4:30pm, so I will be waiting with a book, anywhere, until dinner. She said, "What time do you want to eat dinner?" "How long will it take you to get down to the restaurant from the appt?"


I think there are 2 way-too-nice people here, without an agenda. But also no decisions going on. I was trying really hard for her to make a decision.

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I too get annoyed by people who aren't proactive about making decisions. You pretty much left the ball in her court and all she had to say was lets just meet at x place at y time and we'll go to the restaurant together. I'm guessing you did that so she had the opportunity to enjoy her day off doing whatever she pleased before meeting you for dinner. I find I talk to people like this less and less because it just gets so tiresome always being the one organizing things and making sure we're on track and whatever.

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