It all makes more sense to me now....I think....

[gardnergirl2]

I have only recently (since december) figured out that I was replaced. I knew that he got with her very quickly and all, but I actually still thought if nothing else, he was an honest person. I truly believe that this is what happened:

 

I believe that he met her, started talking to her and "feeling her out" (if she had interest). Then, when he knew she did, he decided to jump ship (only after I brought up breaking up becuase he was neglecting me). So then, he went to her.

 

I did not know this until December, and in November, he and I had a light friendship by email (enough time had passed, or so I thought, that we could communicate civily) She found out and cried and pitched cain (or so they say). The contexts of the emails were in no way flirty. There was no hint of anything innapropriate. While I can understand being hesitant for a bf to be in contact with an ex, she seemed over upset by it, especially in light of the platonic nature of the emails.

 

Now, it has dawned on me of course that she knew that I was in the picture while they were getting to know one another, and I guess I am a "threat" Not really, but I guess I can see why she would be overzealous. She even called me when it happened (I didn't answer), and sent me a message on facebook (not being mean, but proclaiming her virtues so to speak). Also, I don't say this arrogantly, but I am quite a bit more educated than her, and in the past I noticed she changed her facebook to reflect that she had studied at college (she didn't finish). I never really thought of why she would see me as a threat becuase he has been so good to her from what I can tell (free housing, transportation, electricity, water, etc.- he provides all that for her and has since they moved in together- she doesn't work really except part time here and there....she's a convicted felon, so it is harder to find a good job). I have never had all those things provided for me, but if I did, I think I would be tempted to think, "wow, this dude really wants to take care of me. He really likes me" (not that I want to be taken care of....I work 3 jobs...just musing....)

 

Anyway, just welcome viewpoints on it becuase it is just strange to me..... That's fine for us not to communicate and best for me really....but why on earth would she be over insecure....Is it becuase she knows she "cheated" with him??? or just the mere nature of my being an ex (just for clarification, I never monitor who my bf talks with....I figure if I can't trust him, then we don't have anything anyway..)

[Liberty1]

It could be that she knows you and your ex boyfriend were still together when they met so shes a bit insecure... Only right... Or maybe she just doesnt appriciate her man having female friends.

Either way id rather be in your position, being in an insecure relationship is hell.. And thats probably what shes feeling if she felt the need to message and ring you. Bit much... She should take it up with him not you.

You would be surprised you probably arise in there arguments if you and your ex had a serious relationship. Its probably not as it seems, long as your happy in your life who cares..

[gardnergirl2]

Yea, we were together 3.5 years. I don't want him back becuase we would fail again without major changes, and those aren't going to happen. We should have always been friends, really. Now we are nothing, and that's ok. You are right....I might come up. Who knows.....And you are right, Liberty. I need to be happy and forget about it. I am still hurt over his betrayal, but I don't' want him back. Its just hurt over being betrayed....

[squirl]

why on earth would she be over insecure....Is it becuase she knows she "cheated" with him???

 

Yes, exactly.

 

And she's extremely financially dependent on him in a way you never were, so her survival is threatened. She doesn't have the options you have.

 

It doesn't matter. There are so many more important things in life than fighting over a guy that's not committed to you.

[gardnergirl2]

So right squirrel. So right. Thanks again everybody