Should I Ask Him to Give Me My Wrinkles Back

[Silverbirch]

My 25 year old son came to visit me on Friday. We went local and had a wonderful time and it was so good to see him. He had told me beforehand that he wanted to bring his camera to take some photos of me. Anyway, he took quite a few photos and said he would email them to me. I got them in my email tonight, and think they are very, very nice. Son did mention in the email that he had edited and enhanced them. Thing is that I don't have any wrinkles in the pics and last time I looked in the mirror I did. I suspect my son has taken them out.

 

Well, it's taken me a long time to get to where I am and along the way, I managed to get some wrinkles. I'm 53 years old and worked very hard for the crinkles around my eyes. I believe that real beauty comes from within and is in the eyes of the beholder. Not everyone can see another's beauty. I have emailded my son asking him if he took my wrinkles.

 

Do you think, I should ask for some unedited photos? Thank you.

[Captain Obvious]

Sure Though i would have asked for the unedited photos straight out, instead of mentioning the wrinkles.

[Silverbirch]

Thanks Captain.

[shopgirl37]

Silverbirch, I am so understanding of your place!!! I go back and forth in that category. I also am thrilled to death to spend time with my adult sons. It is a true joy! But I think that they do not realize that I also am very comfortable with the journey I have gone through in life. In their own ways, they have tried to remove my wrinkles also... although more metaphorically. It's sweet in a way. I think perhaps your son thinks of you as that time in his pure innocence when you were simply his beautiful, vibrant, mom. We both know, 50+ is not half-dead, and especially when we are comfortable with it, can be empowering and so much more pleasant than life in the twenties or thirties! However, I also remember talking to one my small children one day about their grampa. I think my dad was maybe 70 at the time. We were talking about how some of the people in our family have light hair, and some have dark. My mom is blonde, one of my daughters has VERY dark hair. I explained that maybe it was from grampa. My kids asked me to explain. I said, "well, Grampa has black hair!" They looked at me like I was nuts. It was then that I realized I never saw my dad turn gray. He was forever frozen at 34 years old. I can still picture him coming home from work with his postal service hat on, smiling the most adorable smile ever! It was a turning point in my life as I realized I was now the adult.

 

Personally, since I just discovered that movie stars, and other celebrities are airbrushed more than I was aware, I wouldn't mind seeing and keeping the retouched photos!!! Kinda like wearing concealer over a pimple, but bigger and more fun. Of course, those wrinkles are the real you, but the other is a style that these technology aged people are so comfortable with!!!

 

Smile that he enjoys spending time with you, it's great!

 

 

[ivywall]

I think you should definitely do so, especially considering your ideas (which I love, btw) on beauty standards. I was with someone older than I am, and I loved every single line that appeared when she smiled. Just made me aware that she had known joy, and smiled, and I absolutely loved that. Her smile was (and is) amazing, and the little crinkles did nothing but enhance it.

[Silverbirch]

Hi and THANK YOU Captain, Shopgirl and Ivy. I emailed my son and he sent a message back saying: "HAHA, no all I did was color correct them. I didn't do any skin touch-ups or anything like that. I posted the pics on FB and got 17 likes and quite a few comments. I asked 2 work friends who I have known for a long time what they thought. The guy friend says he can always pic anything photo-shcopped. They both said they thought the pics were just good ones, in the right light and that I looked the same as I do in person in the pics.

 

When I first got to ENA, obviously it was because my relationship ended. At the time, there was a younger woman on the scene who I am certain my partner had become obsessed with. Prior to that relationship, the man I had been with for many years also cheated with younger women. I felt so fragile and had lost so much confidence - but mostly because I had cried so much and my face looked that bad from the crying - that I had botox. Never had it before or since. For a while, I wished that I could have kept having the botox because I did think it made me look younger and more attractive. As well as that, the doctor had spoken to me about the possibility of me having "fillers". I know that I was seriously thinking about how I would manage around $4,000 per year to look as though I was in my 30's when in fact, I was in my 50's.

 

I feel very differently these days. Fortunately for me, I feel accepting of myself and I feel very strongly that some aspects of youth are over-valued. I don't think that I would want to be 20 years younger again - especially as it would likely mean that I wouldn't have the life experience or the wisdom that I have now. LOL, I was really naeive and dumb!!!

 

By the same token, I am not physically attracted to younger men, even though I can think they are beautiful - I don't feel attraction. Our society has recognised handsomeness in mature-aged men for a long time, and even though there are still lots of stereotyping with women, I think it is improving a lot compared to how it was even 20 years ago. Those movie stars in the Hollywood Golden Era were considered old and unbankable at around 40 I think - perhaps younger.

 

There is also that other thing about beauty and it coming from within. I think all of us have known someone who at first might appear very physically attractive, but then for whatever reason - that they are shallow or just not very nice in personality - and their physical beauty isn't so appreciated. Most of us have also had the experience of having a person grow on us and become beautiful before our eyes.

 

Yeah, I love those smiles with the crinkles too! Interesting story about your grandpa Shopgirl. I guess I still think of my mum when she was young and had this gorgeous thick black hair. She's 75 now, and goes to the hairdresser regularly so she can keep it a brunette shad. I think my mother is very beautiful at 75 - on the inside and out.