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Confused and Not Knowing what to do!


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Been with my bf for a year now, and it has been very up and down from the start. I chose to hang in there because of how I feel for him and the fact that I don't believe in giving at the first sign of problems. I guess I relied on the fact that we would pull through which would cement our relationship. I have just found out that he has Father another child and has not told me. A few weeks ago somebody he says told him they saw his ex with a baby, he then went on to explain that when they were together she fell pregnant,he had told her he did not want to have the child but she said she did. She has now turned up with a 4 month old baby saying it is his and she lied. What he failed to mention to me is at the time she got pregnant he had been to 2 scans with her and this was the time he started seeing me. I found out this through doing some digging since the story did not feel right. He made out to me that he knew she was pregnant but once she said she had an miscarriage he did not feel the need to tell me. At this point I feel like I've been lied to because he hasn't given me the whole truth which I think I at least deserve. He seems to have accepted the child straight away without even wanted to pursue a DNA, which leads me to believe that he knew about the child along. I feel if this girl has lied about a miscarriage has he claims why hasn't he gone to make sure its his. I have done so much for my bf and feel used to be honest more of this story seems to be unfolding because I keep digging around I just feel like why cant he be honest. I have asked for space because I'm hurting and I just don't believe him. I don't feel I can be with someone I don't trust but at the same time I cant just switch off how I feel.

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This is a really terrible situation for you if you still have feelings for this guy. You really need to cut all contact with him, if possible, because you are going to feel more and more used, the longer you stay with him.


Stop digging around; it's only likely to give you even more heartache and doesn't change the basic situation - that you can't trust this guy. Unfortunately, even though you feel entitled to have the whole truth, you can't actually enforce it. This guy's value system is not on the same scale as yours, and he now has responsibilities which are nothing to do with you.


If you can, get as much support from friends and family as possible, be kind to yourself - but keep away from him. This guy's no good for you, and by the sounds of it, never has been.

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