Chelsea1987 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 If anyone doesn't know my story this is the link Everything was perfect until she had to go and do a work course that was for 4weeks. She meet a new bloke and woman from work. After week 1 of the course she ended it with me. Since then I stuck to NC for 10days but yesterday I Donno why but I ha the urge to go on her facebook account (I know it's wrong but couldn't resist) she had a status 2weeks after we split up saying "absolutely gutted" a friend private messaged her asking what was wrong she replies " Hey. Im alryt just gutted at the minute. Got back and things were really good with me and *****. Watched him play football on Sunday then had dinner round his aunts. Had planned to see him this week. But he got a text from this girl that he really liked at new year and he wanted it to be serious but she wanted to keep it a secret so he said no. So he hadn't heard from her since. So now she wants him, he's not sure what he wants basically. Hes not sure if he wants me or her. Just finding it hard. Cant believe it. How's things with u?" So she was seeing this bloke I had questioned about and left me for him. It felt so good knowing the truth and told her I knew everything about this bloke And she broke down in tears and said I never cheated on u though. I hanged up and now staying NC for good. This bloke kicked her to the curb and she's now seeing another guy and she's throwing herself at him. It just shows u can never really trust any1 100% It doesn't bother me at all now I know I'm well out of their. I'm so surprised I'm so happy that I found out my ex left me for some1 else lol. I'm just glad I got the TRUTH. She said she's finding things hard? How the hell did she think I felt when she first left me and I didn't really know why! I hate her for this. I'm just glad it's over Link to comment
markie6 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I don't condone the hacking of her FB account by any means (although like you say it's nice to know the truth) but bear in mind there are ways to see where your account has been accessed and email alerts can be set up easily withing FB privacy settings to be notified if it happens. So for anybody else reading, it's not only wrong, actualy breaking the laws in some countries but a total invasion of privacy. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 She was left logged in on my phone before we spilt but I never looked up until then. To be honest I don't really care anyway I got the truth and to me that's all that matters because it gave me the answer why we split and has pushed me Evan further to move on Link to comment
mrb Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm glad you finnaly got your answer! I bet it must be gut wrenching, but at least you know for sure now what the reason was. It did sound alot like there was another guy, which is just horrible. I don't know if my breakup was instigated by another guy, my gut thinks it was, but she always said there wasnt. I've learned in the past to trust my gut instincts, and although there is no proof of this other guy for me, that's the most logical reason ( for me ) keep no contact with her, don't give her any of your time, because you gave her enough of that, and she completley dis-respected you by chasing her own selfish needs/fantasies. Couples need to realise after you're together that long, the love between the two of you totally changes, it's not as simple as it was in the beginning ( like having a crush ) I would say she got what she deserved if this guy has totally rejected her. Onwards and upwards from here my friend, don't look back. Don't ever be 2nd best to ANYONE!!!! Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 Mrb thanks a lot pal u know I've been racking my brains out for 8weeks. I've never had so many emotions go through my body all at once. I won't be 2nd best I'm just glad it's pushed me further away. All those weeks I was being nice trying to talk 1 of those days I was talking to her was the day she was with him! I didn't have a clue. Just so glad I know now. Thanks again mrb Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 Also mrb ur right with what u said about the love changing as time goes on and not like having a crush and her chasing her little fantasies. A lot of people have said that to me. I think this bloke gave her a bit of attention she got a few butterflies and little feelings for him and she's just ran along with it all. Still think its carry how a 5 year relationship is over in a week from that. Glad I'm out and free now. New me. Fresh start Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 So it's been 10 days since finding out the truth. I've been on a date, keeping busy and exercising. I've had a few weak days but its to be expected. I spoke to a mutual friend of mine and my ex and she told me that my ex is finding it very hard being on her own. She left me for another man on her work course then he didnt want her. She then was seeing someone else for a few weeks then he didnt want her and now my ex is meeting up with her ex boyfriend before me!! I don't understand how she could be so happy with me, us being engaged and together for 5years then within 2months she's tried being with 3 different people? Not that I want her back but it sort of hurts that she hasn't looked back at me she prefers to try her luck with other guys. Makes me feel pretty crap. One of her reasons for us splitting up was that she "wants to be by herself because it feels right" and she's struggling on her own. I don't see how it's normal to come straight out of a 5year relationship planning a wedding and be like that within 2 months. I'm still sort of shocked at what's happened after being apart this long. Can anyone really understand what's happened? I think I'm gonna be confused by this for a long time Link to comment
lancelot873 Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 wow that's a tough one. i feel your pain. you're doing great so far though so keep doing what you're doing. i just wish there was a way to find out the truth in my case. but i guess things will eventually unfold as they should. don't think about it too much because it will just make it worse for you. focus on yourself right now and good luck! Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 Lancelot873 yea it is tough when 1min everything's great and that all happens so quickly. I just got to tell myself I'm better of out. Thanks for the comment 😃 Link to comment
daniar Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 Hello Chelsea1987. I am finding myself in a similar situation. My ex girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. Her initial reason was that she didn't love me anymore and that she didn't "feel enough" for me in order to be in a relationship with me. It came out of nowhere for me and I was schocked and sad. But somehow I knew that she had not told me the whole truth. After a couple of days my gut started telling me that there had to be someone else. So 2 weeks after our break up I confronted her, and she admitted that she had feelings for someone else, but she also added that it was not the only reason... Our situation was a bit complicated as I left my home country to live and study in her country. So I basically had to be sure about everything before I could go back home. But I knew that it was not just a pause and I decided to head back to my home country. But I was still bothered about the fact that I didn't know the truth about why my ex girlfriend had broken up with me. But I did a lot of thinking and over the next couple of weeks I managed to figure out who it was that she had left me for. And by chance I actually realized a couple of days ago exactly who this guy was. I must say that knowing the "complete" truth really helps me. My ex girlfriend and I knew each other for 5 years, 3.5 years of which we were together. It turns out that she went on such a weekend course, and she apparently felt in love with the instructor. 2 months after this course she decided to break up with me. I don't know how much contact she have had with this guy up until then, but of course there must have been quite some. I also don't know if she even cheated on me. But I am sure that she only broke up with me when she knew that she had a chance with this guy. As I already said, we live in two different countries, and I even moved to her country to be closer to her. And her breaking up with me was not only painful on a personal level, it also caused a lot of trouble for me because I had to leave the university where I studied and return to my home country and continue my studies there. You can probably imagine how that was. But knowing - at least - some of the truth really helps. It sucks to know that she left me for another guy. And I find it unbelievable that she - after knowing the guy for only 1-2 months - could break up with me - a person she had been with for 3.5 years and known for longer. But it also shows me that she was not worth my love or effort. Now I just have to move forward Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 24, 2013 Share Posted March 24, 2013 It makes me think that she realized, before the wedding, that you were not 'the one' but instead of dealing with that alone she is trying to find a replacement. Do not feel bad for her not wanting you back. She probably would not stay anyway. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 Wow ur story is similar to mine. I just can't believe my ex only knew him a week and walked out of our 5year relationship. How can someone really do that then move on to another 2 blokes so quickly after being rejected by the other? I'm starting to question if she really did love me in the first place to just walk away like that Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 Ms darcy u could quite possibly be right but she was always saying how lucky she was to have me and how much she loved me. Their were no red flags at all and to just walk away without trying to sort things out or anything really hurt after 5years. I said we don't have to get married yet we could wait a few years use the money enjoy ourselves go on holiday and do things. She just wanted out instantly. I never in a million years saw it coming Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 Ms darcy don't u think its strange though how everything was so good with our relationship then goes on a course for work ends it with me then is with him a week later? She only knew him a week as well! I just feel like she was going with the flow with our relationship and never "truly" loved me. If u really loved someone u wouldnt walk away just like that without trying? when someone else she liked came along she's gone in an instant. Giving me the classic excuses its not u it's me, I've changed over the years, I weren't as happy as I thought and we've grown apart. If she weren't as happy as she thought and felt like we grew apart surely after 5 years together u would have a sit down convosation and say I feel like we're drifting apart we need to make more of an effort. To say I weren't as happy as I thought i think doesn't make sense coz if ur happy at the time then uve already experienced those emotions and if u really weren't "as happy as u thought" surely u would say the reasons and work on it. Sorry to ramble on but just having a down day today. Losing a partner after 5 years and having no power to save the relationship has broke my heart Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 Based on what I've said can anyone give my opinions on what has really happened? Is the man on the course the reason why we split up? Or is what she saying true about losing feelings within a week, not being as happy as she thought and growing apart when we was planning a wedding and everything was good?? I might sound silly but coz I've known her for 5years and has been 100% loyal to me in the past I feel like I've been brain washed abit and believe her but going out with a man a week after we ended makes me think shes completely lied and left me for him. I cannot stop obsessing about it I feel better but can't get it off my mind. Can anyone help? Link to comment
jenhoney Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 You did the right thing!! Who cares what anybody else thinks really!! It made you feel better Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Yea it made a lot more sense that this other guy was involved. I'm still confused but did make me feel better in a strange way. Jack yea it didnt make sense to walk away from a 5year relationship when everything was good. Im Glad I know thanks for ur comments Link to comment
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