I'm not single but i flirt way too much

[Ljion]

Hey guys i got a bad problem. Im in a long distance relationship with the greatest gal (we dated in person before the distance) and she makes me very happy.

But it seems like whenever i go out i act like im single and i flirt with every girl i see. I get numbers and buy drinks and get to the point where the girl is waiting for me to ask her to come home with me and then i just stop and disappear.

My friends ask me why i do it and i say i enjoy the game(which i do). Also every time this happens i have had quite a few drinks. But i realized what i was doing would make my gf very sad if she knew...so im trying to stop. I stopped going to clubs and i dont go to bars much anymore(she still goes to both)

The biggest problem is there is this girl we both know who i flirted with and now she is telling everyone how i want to **** her. And im worried shes ganna tell my gf.

What im wondering is whether what im doing is cheating(it never went past flirting) and if i should tell my gf before someone else tells her. Also how to stop doing it and why i do this in the first place....

[oAllElseFailo]

Well first of all, your girlfriend should believe what you say over some girl that's going around saying you want to **** her. Second, it's not cheating but it's not right, you're being very shady about it. It's good you're suppressing it but still shouldn't be doing it.

 

You want to stop? Don't put yourself in the situation! It's pretty simple man. You're obviously doing it when you go to bars/clubs so take yourself out of that if all it's going to lead to is flirting. If I were you, I'd tell her what's been happening, just to keep a 100% faithful and honest relationship especially since your long distance it would be good to know she can have faith in you.

[Romanticism]

Well first of all, your girlfriend should believe what you say over some girl that's going around saying you want to **** her. Second, it's not cheating but it's not right, you're being very shady about it. It's good you're suppressing it but still shouldn't be doing it.

 

You want to stop? Don't put yourself in the situation! It's pretty simple man. You're obviously doing it when you go to bars/clubs so take yourself out of that if all it's going to lead to is flirting. If I were you, I'd tell her what's been happening, just to keep a 100% faithful and honest relationship especially since your long distance it would be good to know she can have faith in you.

 

I agree. I was am a very flirtatious person my self, however when I was in a relationship this dropped dramatically. Frankly I don't like giving people the wrong idea. If I were to be too flirtatious someone might get the wrong idea and put me and my relationship in jeopardy.

[Klokwurk]

You don't have the physical side of the relationship, so you want to get that feeling that you are sexually attractive by flirting with girls. They are present, and fun. Ahh, girls... Anyway.

 

Frankly, I don't see anything that wrong with what you are doing, given that you seem completely devoted to your girlfriend.

 

It's human to flirt, just don't cheat, obviously.

[oAllElseFailo]

Guess it's just more different opinions. It's not cheating but wrong in my eyes. If you want to know whether it's right or wrong - ask the person you care about - your girlfriend. See how she takes it. You'll get your answer then lol

[Throwaway999]

Hmm, I just responded to another thread on here where I was talking about how this behavior in women was so annoying, because I'd think a woman was way into me and then find out she was in a relationship and just wanted the attention. (Or, wanted to cheat on her boyfriend - either way, not cool!)

 

I am the type that when I am in a relationship, I try hard not to flirt with anybody because it is way too easy! There is something about a guys confidence level when he already has a woman and isn't focused on the outcome - women can sense it and it makes you more attractive. It's like, if you have one woman, you can have them all. If you don't have anything at the moment, you have your work cut out for you.

 

But what's annoying being on the other side of it is, you are just wasting somebody's time. If I spend a big chunk of my evening flirting with some woman who has a boyfriend and just wants the attention, I wasted a bunch of time that I could have spent talking to somebody else who was actually interested.

[Klokwurk]

Everything you said is true, but if you just change how you look at it, it doesn't have to be a "waste" flirting with someone who is taken. As the flirting commences, try to figure out quick if this is a contender for your romantic intentions; if you find out she's taken, well, at least you made a girl feel special. Another girl might see you making the taken girl laugh and will be interested in your apparent charm. Spread that beautiful wit around, Hazle; it will pay off!

[Natasha24]

I think innocent flirting while in a relationship is fine. But if you're getting to the point that these girls think you want to have sex with them, you're going too far. There's playful flirting ("Wow, you suck at beer pong!" while lightly pushing her arm) and too-far flirting ("You are so sexy, how do you not have a boyfriend?") Do you see the difference? I don't think you're cheating, but I think you need to tone it down.

 

My rule of thumb is "Would I do this infront of my boyfriend?" If the answer is a resounding NO, then I probably shouldn't be doing it.