so much fighting, everything going downhill

[sweetsparkle]

my boyfriend and i are on the verge of breaking up. i've been with him for 2 and a half years, but for the past 6 months, we've fought alot and i've been very unhappy in this relationship. i'm not even sure if i still love him or am i just scared to be alone again. we've talked about taking a break to think about whether or not we're meant to be but i don't know if that's a good idea.

 

what whould you do if you fought with your significant other all the time, without any resolution? what if your significant other isn't as affectionate to you anymore? you know, come to think of it, my boyfriend has become a bit more distant and moody. his tolerance level is zero. in the past, when things were good, he would console me or comfort me after a fight. now he doesn't. he also used to have patience to work out problems with me, but now he doesn't. and to top it off, he tells his mom everything about our problems. don't get me wrong. i love it that he's close to his mom BUT i don't exactly like the fact that he tells her about ALL our problems. i think matters between a couple should be kept behind closed doors. my mom is my best friend but out of respect for him, i refrain from telling her about our fights.

 

and our sex life.... it's down to about once a week or every two weeks. and it seems like i'm the only one initiating. he reassures me that he's still attracted to me but wishes that i can understand that his "not in the mood" moments are not because of me. well, i'm trying to understand but it's hard. it's hard because everything seems to be changing, but for the worse. and it's making me question whether we'll last or whether he's the one for me. after 2.5 years, i don't know if it's wise to waste anymore time.

 

please help. anyone in this situation?

[Mun]

Hi Sweetsparkle,

This is a tough situation you are in. Living with other people is hardly ever a good experience. No doubt this is putting a strain on your relationship.

 

First off your boyfriend is acting very immature. What is the deal with telling his parents everything? My ex used to do that and it drove me crazy. They knew all our business and at some point I remember being so ticked off I told him " go tell mommy what happened" and he did .

He has a bit of growing up to do sweet and I'm afraid they are just coddling him instead of helping.

 

Second I honestly think you should get out of there. I know this is not easy for you and I wish I could tell you something else, but I just don't see any other option. Your boyfriend is no longer treating you with respect. You have apparently stopped being special to him ... plus his family has a negative opinion of you now...why stay? Do you have your family or somewhere to go?

 

I'm afraid that things won't change while you two are still living there. Like I said before the living arrangement is causing havoc on your relationship. If you lived alone you might not have so many problems.

 

He is being disrespectful to you ( by telling mom and dad everything) and he is mistreating you. Stand up for yourself and show him that you will not put up with this anymore.

 

If he wants to be with you then he will come looking for you and he will change, but he won't change if you don't do something. It's a gamble, but the alternative is to stay there in the same sad situation and be miserable.

 

I hope you make a good choice.

Love

[sweetsparkle]

we were talking about taking some time apart to think about things. do you think this is a good idea?

[Mun]

I think it would be a very good idea, but you have to be clear about whether this is a break up or not. If are both on the same page then there won't be any misunderstandings.

 

Good luck