still can't get over you

[LoveS]

Hi I'm 18 years old, I'm a girl andimgoing through a pretty crap break up. If you read any of my past posts you'll get my full story, but basically me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years, I was completely in love with him and I lost my virginity to him.. We broke up in november and I am still not over him, its been 5 months for christ sake why would I still care? I can't move on or stop thinking about him, or wanting to talk to him but he completely doesn't care about me anymore now, he has moved on and that hurts so much, its horrible.. If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it because I am so sick of feeling like this, so sick of crying myself to sleep every night, I'm exhausted because I always have disturbed sleep, I'm sick of cringing or feeling physically sick at the sound of his name, sick of feeling so pathetic and worthless.. It gets too much sometimes that I scare myself with my thoughts, and I know I'm being dramatic and I'd never self harm but honest to god he makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up.. Please help me

[Moontiger]

It took me two and half years to get completely over my ex. These things don't happen over night but you will get there eventually.

[MasterPo]

The cost of being human. It will pass, plenty of advice about how to handle it on this site. Break out the snacks and read. After awhile you will realize some basic truths and maybe inspired to push yourself out of the funk. I am sorry you are feeling the hurt but the 'emo pain train' will come and go for awhile. It is the nature of this thing of ours. I wish you luck.

 

Mpo

[ayami]

Can you ask yourself why do you still care? Is there something unresolved from the break up or the relationship? Would you want him to take you back?

[Zero71]

It has been 2 years for me and I'm just now putting forth an effort in giving up. You will likely get over your ex quicker than me since you found this place sooner.

[LoveS]

Is it really going to take that long? and no I wouldn't take him back, I just miss him so much

[ssgirl1010]

LoveS,

 

No one can say precisely how long it is going to take or should take for you to "get over" your ex. There is no mathematical calculation for this. It depends on the circumstances of the relationship, how the break-up occurred, the intensity of emotions, whether you were in love, and the length of the relationship (and many other factors).

 

The fact of the matter is that you are still hurting and you are still in pain and it is going to take you more time than perhaps you had hoped to heal from your break-up. I think you should accept this fact for what it is and allow yourself the time you need to heal.

 

Too often, we get fussed with how long it is taking to get over the ex. We start to focus on "why is it taking so long to get over him/her?" as opposed to just saying "I'm not over you. It will take time. I will be patient with myself." And, instead of focussing on what what we need to do to heal from a break-up.

 

I think each day you focus on why you are not over him, another day gets added back to you getting over him.

 

There is nothing wrong with you. You have a broken heart. It will take you more time to heal. But you will get there. There is light at the end of the tunnel.