meeting girls...

[Freak of nature]

What's a good place to meet girls? In school, I don't think I've got a chance. I mean, I don't think I'm lacking too much in the looks department, because more than once I've caught a girl staring (that may not mean anything, though)... The problem is that when I get close to them so I can say hi and you know, trying to start a convo and introducing myself, they look away. So, is it that I just have something on my face? I dunno, I don't think I have anything freakish. I'm not so shy anymore (I used to be, but now I've surprised myself with what I can do...). And she's not the only one. I've said hi to lots of cute girls, but most of them, even though we've exchanged looks, I know they're taken (I see them talking about their bfs, etc). So, what happens that makes girls be repelled from me?

 

For how long should I "know" a girl before asking her out (asking her to hang out with me on a weekend, etc.)? Would it be awkward if there was a girl I didn't know very well, and she didn't know me well either (if we knew each other's names and had a class together, but had never said much past the point of "hi"), and I asked her out? I dunno. Stuff's confusing... I know it's a lot of questions, but I wanna know...

 

PS: it'd be great if someone told me from step 1 how it works. Please, I'm a rookie.

[Beec]

Not quite so sure there is a step 1. And if there is it may be counterintuitive. It would be to make an indirect approach. And indirect approach would be to make contact with a woman without seeming like you are just coming to ask her out.

 

Could not tell you why you are not haivng success, unless you are a social pariah or just make too much of an overt approach.

 

I think dating is really a set of skills. It's kind of like playing a sport. If you practice the individual skills, you will play the game better. What are the skills? Being able to talk (conversational skills), being able to read and send body language signals, being able to mingle (how to begin a conversation especially), flirting, knowing how to manage and plan a date, etc.

 

Body language is really important. What you communicate with the meaning of your words is only about ten percent of what you communicate. You communicate three times that amount with how you say things, using a tone of voice, manner of speak, etc. And more than either combined is what we say with our body language.

 

If I was in your position and wanted to improve my skills, I would read up on and study body language, first. Then I might read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. They should help. See how you are mkaing out if you can use their ideas, and then move on to improving another skill.

[Mserious]

I sort of have the same problem. But it's more because girls confuse me. I've have girls who already have boyfriends flirt with me. And I don't know exactly how to react, because they're not that direct either, plus she's already taken. It's sometimes very confusing... Maybe following Beec's advice will help you in the meanwhile.

[Beec]

How you react should not be too much different than if she does not have a guy.

 

The reason why is the same reason to make a indirect approach. People go for those who make them feel special and remain aloof and independent. If you are aloof and independent, then you are not needy or clingy. You should be aloof whether or not she has a guy.

 

Check out the principles on link removed