I'm Starting to Hate All of my Friends

[Soprano]

Within the last few months, I've become increasingly.. well, reckless in terms of my social life.

For example, I was seeing a couple girls last year (between September and November) and if they did one tiny thing to piss me off, that was it. With the second one three days after we had sex I decided I didn't want to talk to her anymore because of something she said.

 

But that was fine because these people didn't mean much to me.

 

Then, over the winter break, I was hanging out with a big group of old friends (I am in university, so think life long hometown friends) and things didn't go smoothly. I already had some issues with a lot of them, and since the night didn't go well, I said, forget it. Thought about it for a couple days, and of the nine people there decided I'll only continue talking to three in any way.

 

But that was fine because I had been thinking about it for a while.

 

Then, in the last two weeks, everything my friends at school do enrages me. I feel like they're becomes acquaintances at best, and I feel slighted by everything they do to. This even extends to the guys who live in the floor above me on my house. For example I was talking to two of them about going out on Thursday, they said they weren't sure but would let me know. Well the night comes, they invite tons of people to their floor, and I get no explicit invite. So I don't go out and am pissed off with them.

 

But that was fine because I expected it to pass.

 

Now however, with my own roommates, the same issues have arisen. One of my roommates stays home basically all day, often high, sometimes not. I used to be great friends with him, listen to his problems, cook with him, etc. But now he disgusts me. He is annoying and I have begun to be pretty rude to him, even if he doesn't deserve. He's begun to realize that something is wrong, but when he tries to help, there's been a better chance of me telling him to "f*** off" as opposed to wanting to talk.

 

But that was fine because I figured I would get over it, and it was just a phase.

 

Then, last night, my other roommate, and also likely my best friend until that point, had an argument with me. We were supposed to go to dinner with another guy that night. He came into my room a couple hours before the dinner to ask me about a class we both have. I told him to wait, and asked him how many people I was making reservations for. He said 4, so I called the place, and though we wanted to go at 7 30, they only had spots at 6 30. I told him this, and he said forget it we'll go somewhere else my friend can't make it that early. I wanted to go to the restaurant, so I said hold on, I'll ask him to make sure. Then my roommate said, well I don't want to eat that early anyways, basically trying to cut off the entire conversation. So I said forget it, I'll just eat at home.

 

Then, he basically ignored this and started to ask me about the book in our class, and I told him I didn't care, in a very dismissive manner. So he got pissed off, left my room, told me I was "fu****" lately, and that everything was about me. I obviously disagree. But then I started to think, a thought that had never crossed my mind, hmmm, maybe I should move out.

 

Anyways, I took a nap on it and woke up to him on the phone with another friend who was excitedly telling him around 7 girls were coming to his house to go out, so to come and bring friends. Well, the roommate invited my other roommate, but not me. He had never done this before, and I knew it was out of pure spite. We had been waiting for a chance like this the last two days, and it was perfect, and then he wouldn't invite me over a small disagreement. I was enraged.

 

I called my dad and told him I was moving out. Talked to him for three hours and he tried to calm me down, and get me to wait until I came back home for reading week at least to cool off. I felt a bit more calm after that, and in the meantime of the conversation, I had gotten a long text from my roommate, basically saying that he loved me, i was his best friend, but i had been negative lately and it wasn't becoming of myself, and so he didn't invite me so I could cool down and we would talk tomorrow.

 

Well initially I read it and thought, hmm, that was nice, I wasn't expecting that. But the more I read it, the more insulted I got. It sounded like he was putting me on time out. It sounded like he can expect to insult me like that, and then just expect my friendship to still be there after when he decides he wants to talk about it. So I got pissed again. And after sleeping for 8 hours, I still am.

 

But this isn't fine, if I cut him out of my life too, I've basically severed the closest relationship to me besides my family.

 

Am I going crazy? I can try to rationalize that I am wrong for acting the way I am, but I can't truly believe it. The thought of apologizing makes me sick. I'd rather spit in his face, or anyone's face. I don't think I want to talk to him for a while, even with the long message he sent. My academic life is great, but my social life is garbage, and I really hate almost everything about it. I am going to talk to a counselor at school tomorrow, but thought I would post this here first. I just can't deal with all of these idiots anymore.

[blueidealist24]

Don't cut him off. It sounds like you have a very short fuse with people lately, for some unknown reason. Some of the things they do sound mildly annoying but you might be overreacting to them, at least compared to your normal behaviour. I wouldn't make any moves to end any more friendships until you talk to that counselor. They might be able to help you get to the root of the reason that you're so ticked off about, well, everything.

[becomingkate]

I agree with blueidealist; something is setting you off.

 

Something like this has happened to me before, when I was on meds for ADHD. I'd just lose it, and very quickly! It also happened to my husband, we had to stop taking it.

 

Are you taking meds for anything?

[Soprano]

Don't cut him off. It sounds like you have a very short fuse with people lately, for some unknown reason. Some of the things they do sound mildly annoying but you might be overreacting to them, at least compared to your normal behaviour. I wouldn't make any moves to end any more friendships until you talk to that counselor. They might be able to help you get to the root of the reason that you're so ticked off about, well, everything.

 

Yeah. I'm just going to relax today, do work, and avoid my roommates.

[Soprano]

I agree with blueidealist; something is setting you off.

 

Something like this has happened to me before, when I was on meds for ADHD. I'd just lose it, and very quickly! It also happened to my husband, we had to stop taking it.

 

Are you taking meds for anything?

 

I'm not. And I never have (for mental health issues at least).

[happpybear]

have you been stressed out with school? When you worry alot your body produces more stress hormones which wears out your adrenal glands, which in time can cause people to develop a very short fuse and if left long enough, a nervous breakdown.

[blueidealist24]

have you been stressed out with school? When you worry alot your body produces more stress hormones which wears out your adrenal glands, which in time can cause people to develop a very short fuse and if left long enough, a nervous breakdown.

 

Yeah, I was like that for awhile and I actually HAD a nervous breakdown. I had to start taking anxiety medication, and it's made me have less of a short fuse.

[happpybear]

yes, your adrenals were spent, that's why, it's from stress. ant anxiety meds don't fix it over the long run, you have to address and remove the stress, and then take it super easy on yourself to recover, it can take months

[Soprano]

have you been stressed out with school? When you worry alot your body produces more stress hormones which wears out your adrenal glands, which in time can cause people to develop a very short fuse and if left long enough, a nervous breakdown.

 

In some ways yes, but in others no.

I mean I do have a lot of work coming up, but at the same time the summer internship and money issues I was worrying about just ten days ago are really starting to solve themselves.

So I guess if it's stress I'm not aware of it?

 

The short fuse though, for sure.

[Soprano]

yes, your adrenals were spent, that's why, it's from stress. ant anxiety meds don't fix it over the long run, you have to address and remove the stress, and then take it super easy on yourself to recover, it can take months

 

It's possible, I just don't feel outwardly stressed like I know I have before.

[blueidealist24]

yes, your adrenals were spent, that's why, it's from stress. ant anxiety meds don't fix it over the long run, you have to address and remove the stress, and then take it super easy on yourself to recover, it can take months

 

Oh, great. Well, the stress was/is being caused by me trying to start a career. I don't really want to stop doing that.

[Hoagy]

It's natural as we get older to start reviewing our lives and we leave behind some of the people from our past as we move on into our future, especially if we can't see a role for them in the life we're trying to create for ourselves. We outgrow them and get bored of them easily. We find their jokes (that were once so hilarious) childish and puerile. This happens several times in our lives and very few people have the same friends in their old age as they had in their teens.

 

You might want to do something about the temper though.

[happpybear]

Oh, great. Well, the stress was/is being caused by me trying to start a career. I don't really want to stop doing that.

 

 

there are ways to temper it, yoga, meditation,

[Soprano]

It's natural as we get older to start reviewing our lives and we leave behind some of the people from our past as we move on into our future, especially if we can't see a role for them in the life we're trying to create for ourselves. We outgrow them and get bored of them easily. We find their jokes (that were once so hilarious) childish and puerile. This happens several times in our lives and very few people have the same friends in their old age as they had in their teens.

 

You might want to do something about the temper though.

 

I agree. And so for me to cut out my old friends was no big deal. I'm just shocked at how many people I'm getting rid of. I'm starting to feel like Stalin, purging my social life LOL.

 

Anyways I saw both roommates today but ignored their attempts to talk. I'm not sure if the main roommate I argued with thinks he can just avoid the incident because he had a good night and wants to tell me about it, or what. But yeah I'm ready to throw the friendship out the window. What's the use of friends right?

 

We'll see what the counselor says tomorrow.

[blueidealist24]

I agree. And so for me to cut out my old friends was no big deal. I'm just shocked at how many people I'm getting rid of. I'm starting to feel like Stalin, purging my social life LOL.

 

Anyways I saw both roommates today but ignored their attempts to talk. I'm not sure if the main roommate I argued with thinks he can just avoid the incident because he had a good night and wants to tell me about it, or what. But yeah I'm ready to throw the friendship out the window. What's the use of friends right?

 

We'll see what the counselor says tomorrow.

 

It's ok to cut SOME people out. But the statement "What's the use of friends right?" is troubling, unless you were saying it jokingly/sarcastically.