4 men? Just had a messy break up!?!?

[Saures]

Hiya,

I've recently had a break up from a relationship of 14 months and I've decided I do not want another relationship and just search for something slightly casual.

I am a very friendly person and like to let people know I'm here for chats and such and I believe a flirt can be a flirt with no strings attached.

I have had an on and off thing with this man for a while, just casual sex, we have sex, don't talk for a week or two, then have sex again, same thing happens, but he started to get jealous over me hanging out with a male friend, and for the first time, wants me to stay over his.

I recently began talking to a friend of mine who is in my college classes, and it turns out he's had quite the crush on me since everything started, I have always been fond of him in a friend way, but told him I am just interested in something casual. So I thought he would get the picture, I'm strictly off limits for a relationship and just want some fun.

I then start talking to a man I met at a wedding a few months ago and he's also just split up with his girlfriend of three years and said I'm just looking for something casual too.

There's also this other guy, who I hardly ever talk to, but we have begun to chat recently and it has come to light that he is also, quite keen on me.

 

I have said to all these men that I am not looking for a relationship, yet they all seem to have fallen head over heels for me? I'm not one to break hearts, and I feel awful rejecting people.

They have all either said "i have completely fallen for you" "I really like you" etc etc etc.

 

I have no idea what to do and it is really starting to bug me that I'm getting texts from all over the shop from all different men at all different times of the day begging for my attention...

 

I don't understand why casual is so complicated for the other person!!!!!!

Please help!

[mcgoldrick]

Well, being a guy myself, I know how this works.

If a girl flirts with a guy, you may just think like, oh yeah, fine, I flirted, I had fun, and its over. Nothing serious.

And although guys never tell it, if a girl flirts with us, or atleast me, who I find even remotely attractive, then I start thinking about her and obsess myself with her thoughts and stuff.

And then, I start expecting more and more and then, before I realize, I've fallen for her.

Now I may be something special in this case, but I guess not, and all guys get feelings for girls if they constantly flirt with them. All you need is a personality and looks.

So if you do not want to break hearts and stuff, you should maybe stop casually flirting around, or if you do, then, draw a line. Dont exchange numbers or stuff, and maybe, dont flirt with that person again. Like, a one time deal?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I suspect your flirting tends to give the impression that sex will be attached to the deal so that is why all the men are flocking to you. I have seen women do that..they flirt in a way that makes it appear the guy will "get lucky" so there are a flock of guys hovering around the woman wanting to be with her. If you don't want all this attention then stop flirting and just have normal conversations with the guys...I can guarantee that if you have a non-flirtatious, normal conversation then the guys will not be asking you out, they will be more interested in trying their luck with the next overly flirtatious woman.

[Cherry009]

I suspect your flirting tends to give the impression that sex will be attached to the deal so that is why all the men are flocking to you. I have seen women do that..they flirt in a way that makes it appear the guy will "get lucky" so there are a flock of guys hovering around the woman wanting to be with her. If you don't want all this attention then stop flirting and just have normal conversations with the guys...I can guarantee that if you have a non-flirtatious, normal conversation then the guys will not be asking you out, they will be more interested in trying their luck with the next overly flirtatious woman.

 

I agree with this, of course if u flirt the guy is going to think it's more than just a friend thing!